#1
Song i wrote for my girlfriend, after listening to Tears In Heaven. She was saying she wants to die but i wrote this:

Always And Forever

dont say you want to leave
cuz you know that cuts me deep
You say no to tears
when i cry to myself about my fears
of losing you to them
now i really can't hold it in
im all alone
i have to make it on my own
baby please just stay
with me tonight

i cannot stop;
let these tears just flow on out
i forget the words, but the tune is in my head
baby dont cry, im here, but dont let your tears shed
im here with you always and forever more

i want you here with me
ill never let you go and see
what they all want from you
when you know that it hurts me too
i want you to know
that i will love you when i go
to heaven or my hell
ill think about you girl
even when i disappear ill always be here with you

i cannot stop;
let these tears just flow on out
i forget the words, but the tune is in my head
baby dont cry, im here, but dont let your tears shed
im here with you always and forever more

ill bring you here again
no matter what it does to my friends
i love you to death
but no dying is the rest
dont shout at me
cuz you know i will always love you baby

i cannot stop;
let these tears just flow on out
i forget the words, but the tune is in my head
baby dont cry, im here, but dont let your tears shed
im here with you always and forever more

your tears are those of angels
dont shed your tears in heaven girl
you wont lose me, and i wont lose you

i cannot stop;
let these tears just flow on out
i forget the words, but the tune is in my head
baby dont cry, im here, but dont let your tears shed
im here with you always and forever more
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#2
The sentiment is nice, but you used 'baby' way too much, and the song has been done a million times. I'd say try to find a different way to say what you're saying.

Just IMO.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#3
There are 22 "yous" in this.

Try to vary how you're presenting things instead of just "you do x."