#1
You can not act or linger
In heavy harness, dear Brother.
Though the rivers run over
In blinded eye, behind
the native altar; though
much is taken, much abides.
Through the tumid river,
where I gnaw the thorny bushes and trees
‘till the tongue begin to bleed;
I sol tace.

I shall wear my trousers rolled.

And without hope of rest
I renounce unto you-
from the wide open windows
for the aged Petrel, where the oar is removed.
I find dead Negroes on broken sand-
oh Brother, how things have changed.
I pass the crowd of household gods
for some three suns on the farthest shore;
and there was a great calm, from the great distance
under the arching heaven.

Ksanti.

God spoke in the presence of weary children
that sing, lucidly, for cedars under broken pines,
‘till the task was done;
God was quick to question me.
No demon has yet tempted me and restlessly, I
rolled onto another Kingdom by the river.
And yet not an answer,
not an answer had ever been spoken.

The holy spirit has found me.
The holy spirit has taken me;
so far and no farther.
Last edited by Bleed Away at Jul 8, 2009,
#2
Last 3 were powerful, but I'm afraid before that was the type of Fred writing that I find much to opaque to enjoy. It just never hits a plane where I can grasp some footing to begin exploring its depth; and leaves me more bewildered than enthralled. That last 3 though. Wow.

Good to see you posting mate.
#3
I was just thinking yesterday, where has Bleed Away been? Great to see a piece by you.
I agree fully with Zanas, although its not that i didn't enjoy the first 3 stanzas they didn't really grab me and pull me in while reading them. But I did like the use of details throughout the whole piece.
I'll try to remember to come back and reread and maybe add to my crit later today.
this one is for you.