#1
What I've got is stable
What I've got is true
But man I would throw it all away
For a chance to be with you

I know you'd never love me
Baby that's a fact
So it's hard to explain
Why I keep coming back

(Potential chorus might just make it a verse though)
You were always like an angel
Dancing in my dreams
But babe your still the devil
Filling me with screams

You've got some sort of power
Tearing me away from her
And just when I think the feelings gone
Your smile makes it stir

But I can't tell you girl
Just don't have the spine
So I'll just sit and dream about how things would be
If you were mine

My first song and most likely very crappy. But hey I did my best.
#2
It's not crappy, but it's very cliché. If it's genuine, then it's fine, but I just wish people would find different, more poetic ways to write a love song.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#3
That's fair man and I get what your saying. It is genuine, but I wish I could have said it better.
#4
Give it time - it's your first one, right? We all start out somewhere, and honestly, what you wrote there is better than 90% of all that acoustic **** they play on VH1 - those pseudo love songs. As long as you keep goin at it, you can only get better.
Do you feel warm within your cage?

And have you figured out yet -


Life goes by?
Quote by Hydra150
There's a dick on Earth, too
It's you
#5
The best lyrics come from when you dont think about it. They just come out of no where...soon you will see what i mean. Your song is good man as long as its from you and has meaning
#6
i like it, extremely cliche, but then again, most band's ballads are, lol. really liked the potential chorus.
Quote by Zero-Hartman
The Bible is awesome. Revelation is so badass, I mean, dragons and angels and the devil having an epic battle in the clouds? Badass.
#7
i liked it alot, chorus needs some more lines but a real slow muted acoustic sound on the verses would go great with it.
good job mate.