#1
Hey, ive managed to pull another rough tune out of my ass


Pretty much wrote it as i was recording. So its uneven in places.

Also, again, unfinished - as the last few riffs made my fingers fall off, so its sloppy Correcting all the issues in the next few days.

So tell me what you think

Ill C4C you aswell.
#2
Pretty nice job. At the beginning, something was out of tune, and is is definitely imminent (no not bad harmonies, just intonation). After the first part, I started grooving to the "verse?" part with a slow drum beat in my head (loose hi-hat). Then when the distortion guitar came in, that drum beat would be better suited there. I loved the soft part man, that was REALLY atmospheric with the panning! Good job on that. After the soft part, comes the fast thrash part: good contrast I enjoyed listening to it, keep it up.

c4c: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1039606
#3
Ive just noticed that first bit , ill definately sort that out in the final rough draft, thanks for the heads up mate im checking your stuff out now!
#4
The intro is pretty cool the way it is. Sort of haunting and dissonant.
The second riff was a bit boring and repetitive (the one at 1:10).
But the lead that kicks in at 1:30 is really cool. And the effect and riff in the quiet breakdown is sweet. Overall cool song, I can imagine with drums it'd be amazing.

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=18306441#post18306441
#5
The intro was very cool, with a funky sort of oriental dissonant feel. There's a riff that comes in about 1 minute that sounds very catchy (it sounds like a heavy version of that one song Sweet Dreams by Eurythmics ). I didn't like the transition at first at 1:26, but the riff that came in ended up being pretty cool. The transition at 1:53 or so was not very smooth, but you said this is a rough tune. You have some pretty tight rhythm, I have to say especially around 2:45+. The outro is just a BIT too much unless you'll have some sort of counter-point or harmony to go with it. I'd like to hear the finished product with drums and all. Kick ass job dude, and thanks for the crit.
Last edited by silvadolla at Jan 25, 2009,
#6
Hey chaps, thanks for the crit

I've pretty much finished the song for now, I couldnt be bothered to iron out the mistakes (theres a pretty big stuff up around 3:45, meant to repeat the melody again). But that'll all come soon, for now i just wanted to get it done.

I went a bit overboard with the effects, only because they are biblically addictive...I was attempting to go for a Half-Life 2 sound in the quiet bits, as a sort of theme-y thing.

anyway, enough of my blabbing and enjoy
#7
Thanks for the critique on my song.

The song is not "bad" by any means, but it kind of does leave some more to be desired. In terms of riffage, you got skill. They were very good, classic metal, type of riffs. Throughout your guitar tone sounded very computerized, but this is a problem many of us have to deal with. That aside, I really enjoyed the parts alot. You do go overboard with effects, but they are addictive. The riff at 3:45 is pretty killer, sounds really sweet. The biggest problem with this song is the fact that is very skitzo. The middle section where it goes very light, is lacking. This would have done better without it, honestly. But, overall, a really enjoyable instrumental piece. Not bad, not great; but good.
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#8
Quote by Ulalume
Thanks for the critique on my song.

The song is not "bad" by any means, but it kind of does leave some more to be desired. In terms of riffage, you got skill. They were very good, classic metal, type of riffs. Throughout your guitar tone sounded very computerized, but this is a problem many of us have to deal with. That aside, I really enjoyed the parts alot. You do go overboard with effects, but they are addictive. The riff at 3:45 is pretty killer, sounds really sweet. The biggest problem with this song is the fact that is very skitzo. The middle section where it goes very light, is lacking. This would have done better without it, honestly. But, overall, a really enjoyable instrumental piece. Not bad, not great; but good.


Thanks for the crit mate - Ill work on my song structuring much more during the next few weeks. Its only the second full song ive ever written :P. This wont be final because ive still got 4 other bandmembers who want their part in the mix. So ill be slowly sculpturing this song with them in the next few months. My initial intention was to have the song build up to a really thrashy end, but i got sidetracked by the wonderful effects. Shifting and sliding tracks is a real bitch to do in Audacity.


EDIT: btw - just out of curiosity, what sub-genre of metal would you class both my rough songs at?
Last edited by ascendancy2 at Jan 26, 2009,
#9
thanks for the crit brotherman lol. the intro riff is really nice and hauting. im not sure if the guitars were supposed to be out of tune but oh well. I really really like the riff at 1:27-1:50. its a very nice lead. as for the other riffs they are good. but none of them as memorable. i would def throw some leads over those and it will sound great! also use drums. drums will make a huge difference. even if its just guitar pro drums haha. overall i like it alot. the only thing i would consider fixing is the transitions from distortion to clean. its kinda abrupt. very nice though!
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#10
I quite like it!Would sound great with some drums!IF you dont have any means by which to program drums send me a pm.
#11
The clean parts reminded me of some of the music in 28 days later. nice machine gun riffing after that panning part, rhythm is pretty tight.

theres a lot of great ideas in here man! you should find a way to add drums.

how are you recording guitar?
#12
the first part with the two clean parts was definitely out of tune, once you started the groove verse it was great, your rhythm part is a little too distorted around 1:20 i'd suggest lightening that up a bit, its just too scratchy. the second clean part is nice, the little white noise in the background is cool. other than that it was well put together and has tons of potential if you choose to expand upon it.

C4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1041139

or just c4c on my profile

C4C?