#1
Mistrust and lust.

Words come from our mouths
Expressions fill our face
For some reason I feel there’s something amiss
Is it because we’re vampires feeding on our own mistrust?
Is it because if we cry honest tears we’ll rust?
Is it because we lack empathy, sincerity, compassion, all of this stemming from our mis…

Perhaps it’s because of those reasons that depression and suicide rates are up
Just think their last memory is of a world leaving them cold and hollow
This is your world leaving them like this
This is your world leaving them in search of such an end
Your world not lending a hand to those who are in need of friendship and care
But then again in this world, all we care about is our own back.

So disconnected from each other
Pushing others away, we have our own space, let it be that way
We don’t know nor truly make an attempt to extend our hand to others
Yet we recoil when there's not a hand there to love us

Love, in this world? How can we truly love, when most of the time we operate on jealousy and lust?
In this world, how can things truly change if we continue to operate like this and don’t even know what true love is?
I think it’s time; we grow the **** up and open ourselves to altruism and learn what it truly means to love


First thing I've written in a few months that actually sounds decent to me...however I think that the 2nd stanza is probably a bit weak.
Please tell me what you think and crit crit crit! :P
C4C also!
Last edited by Blue? at Jan 26, 2009,
#2
Lol, thanks for the crit on my piece.

And I like this.. the first stanza's kool, I like it when lyrics kinda question things..

Other than that, it was overall like a 8/10. Some of the lines seemed a bit long, and some seemed a little bit pushy, but It's a good piece and it makes me think. That's when you can tell something's a good piece!