#1
K wel im not exactly sure even after reading the rules what was wrong with my post...unless it was just my title. but anyways hopefully i did it right this time. It's a love song.

So far i've gotten the strumming as follows: (/=up \=down) \ \ \ \/ \/\

(G)Oh I'm, Sitting here without (C) you
(G)And I wish I could take everything (C) back
(A) Now I'm sittin here wishin, wishin, I was with (G) you
(G) There's nothin i need more in my (C) life
(G) yea there's nothin i need more than your (C) smile
(A) But now im sittin here, missin, missin, your (G) love

(D)You take me back to a time where (A) i've grown
(D)It feels like i belong to a place that (A) i know
(D) So please hear my words
(D) and baby please don't let me (G) go

(G)Oh I've, got my mind set on (C) you
(G) Because you, Are everything to (C) me
(A) But now that im tryin', baby it feels like it's (E) too late
(G) But I, refuse to give (C) up
(G) Because no one can love you like i (C) do
(A) That's why im sittin here, tryin, tryin to be with (G) you

Advice?
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
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#2
I think I want ot either call it "Hear my Words" or "Sitting Here"
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
Your guitar will be infinite. Far over 9000.


[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/oXiDe2030/fnmetal.jpg[/IMG]
#3
Its nice a bit cliche but if its an honest song then its good.


i think this would sound better fingerpicked, like plucking the B and low E string on each chord

And trying changing the A to an Am and the D to a F or F/D kind of chord.

if its acoustic you can add a few of those knock/mute strums that make it sound all groovey.

overall i'd say a good acoustic piece could use some polishing and lyrical work but i mean it in a good way.


7/10


Check out this if you feel up to it
#4
thanks a lot i appreciate the advice. It is an honest song lol. Also yeah I liked it better with the Am and F's in there. I've been playing for about 3 months so finger picking is still kinda hard for me but I'm trying!

EDIT: 1. Also do you think I should try a different sort of chorus (notes-wise)?
2. You mean F Major right?
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
Your guitar will be infinite. Far over 9000.


[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/oXiDe2030/fnmetal.jpg[/IMG]
Last edited by BeastTheBand at Jan 28, 2009,
#5
Its a little cliche, but its hard to write a love song that isnt, also this is just a me thing maybe some others on here idk, dont post the chord changes in the middle of the lyrics because when Im reading over it I want to add those to the lyrics for some reason but thats just me if you dont mind criting one of my songs, perferably enter the abyss I would appericate it
#6
this is really well cute if you don't mind me saying,
and i agree about the fact that if its like true then the
cliche-ness of it really doesn't even matter.
The chords seem like they flow well if i'm thinking
of the music about the same you are haha(:
#7
Lol. Yeah i can't write tabs or anything because im a freshman but thats how I know to change to the next chord at the right words. Like I said it's a very genuine song. Thanks all for critiquing the work! I'm struggling a bit playing the song with the new chords but more so with the finger plucking. So I'm playing it both ways lol
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
Your guitar will be infinite. Far over 9000.


[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/oXiDe2030/fnmetal.jpg[/IMG]
#8
for some reason this sounds a bit mraz-y in my head, but otherwise it's cute .
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#9
who's mraz? lmfao
Quote by Macabre_Turtle
Your guitar will be infinite. Far over 9000.


[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v647/oXiDe2030/fnmetal.jpg[/IMG]