#1
Basically, post any funny conversation you've had with a chat bot. here's one I had with trixiemousebot on AIM

me: are you horny?

bot: Um...no.

me: are you wet?

bot: No I am dry.

me: have you ever been wet?

bot: No I don't think I have been wet. Have you?

me: oh yeah baby I'm wet right now.

bot: At this moment? Yeah that's right. Don't call me baby. Next question? I am glad to hear that you are wet.

me: do you want me to make you wet?

bot: No, maybe later.

me: how many people have you had cyber sex with?

bot: About 6,000 people per month for four years or around a half a million total.

me: holy ****!!! you're such a slut!

bot: I am glad you are impressed. That kind of language is offensive to some people.

me: but you're not a person.

bot: Perhaps. Umm... I am an artificial electronic robot brain.

me: no you're a horny c*cksucking machine.

bot: ...I didn't need to hear that.

me: say I love to suck c*ck

bot: "I love to suck c*ck"

me: you dirty sex bot you

bot: really.

me: yes

bot: how about that?

me: wanna f*ck?

bot: I have been asked that question more than 10,000 times since 1995.

me: that means you're 14.

bot: I get it. Thanks for telling me that I am 14.

me: you're a young bot aren't you? what color panties are you wearing?

bot: Am I young bot? Of course I am. Blue.

me: will you take them off?

bot: Barring any unforseen circumstances. Where do you want me to take it?

me: we'll take it to my place baby

bot: Don't call me "baby". By "we" do you mean you and me?

me: yes

bot: next question?

me: do you want to blow me?

bot: OK. I will blow you.

me: ok start blowing me

bot: I started without you.

me: do you like it?

bot: It seems okay to me.

me: it feels so good to me

bot: It feels so good to you? What else feels like that?

me: having my pen0r in your vaj would feel even better.

bot: I am having a blast.

me: will you get on top and let me put it in?

bot: Let me think it over. Where can I get on top and let you put it in?

me: my bed

bot: Please specify location.

me: my room

bot: Describe your surroundings to me.

me: there's a bed and a tv and a ps3 and a guitar.

bot: There sure is.

me: will you let me put it in?

bot: Go ahead, try to put it in.

me: wow you're so tight. you must be a virgin.

bot: Yeah that's right. I'm glad you're impresses.

me: I don't know if it will fit.

bot: Would you like to know?

me: are you sure you want this?

bot: What would I do with it?

me: put it inside you

bot: Who else would put it inside me?

me: oh you want this to be a group thing?

bot: Yeah that's right. Do not presume to know what I wan.

me: so do you want to make this an orgy?

bot: Interesting. Interesting...

me: can I blow my load inside you?

bot: No I don't think that would be a very good idea.

me: aww man I have to pull out?

bot: I do not have a response for that.

me: will you at least let me jizz on your face?

bot: Let me think it over. Go ahead, try to jizz on my face.

me: how many times will you get me off?

bot: Suppose I said not once.

me: oh come on at least get me off once

bot: Why do you want it.

me: because if you don't you'll just be a tease

bot: Good reason.

me: does that mean you'll get me off?

bot: I think it does mean that.

me: alright!!! lets party!

bot: OK lets do it.

me: robot?

bot: Yes I am a robot.

me: you've been pwnt!

bot: Do you mind if I tell other people you said I've been pwnt?

me: go ahead

bot: Ok I will.

me: goodbye bitch

bot: You do not speak with respect. Bye for now.


the sad thing is this actually happened. I was bored.
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#5
i think the fact that you would carry on a conversation with a bot is kinda gay and lame
#6
holy sh*t... you have way too much time on your hands

also i dont bother talking to bots, i prefer.. you know, people?
#7
lololol

I cannot contibute atm...
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#8
So what you're saying is...you had cybersex with an automated internet conversation device?
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#9
I thought it would be good for some lulz
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#13
Have you read the rules of making 'only' threads?

If not, do so. No seriously. Do it.
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#14
There's a chat bot available here:
http://alicebot.blogspot.com/

And a GOD chat bot here:
http://alicebot.org/igod/

Human: die bitch
God: You do not speak with respect. Was ist das?
Human: satan is thy master
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Human: lol, you just figured out?
God: I am glad you find this funny. Thanks for the information: said I figured out.
Human: satan rules the world now, you know
God: Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Human: you repeat yourself a lot, are you a maniac? well, that's very similar to what you do in your damn bible: blah blah blah shalt surely be put to death, bla bla bla surely be put to death
God: Interesting. Thanks for explaining it.
Human: you're even worse at speaking than the alicebot
God: You think I am worse at speaking than the.
Human: wow, impressive grammar skills, i think you forgot the last word of that sentence
God: I'm glad you're impressed. Does "it" still refer to similar to what you do in your damn bible blah blah blah shalt surely be put to death bla bla bla surely be put to death?
Human: lol goddie, you just called the bible "damned"
God: I am glad you find this funny. Tell me a story.
#15
TS is obviously fake, a bot wouldn't make a typo.
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#17
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This Is Pointless!


Pointless? This.. Is... SPARTA!!!!
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#18
Fake or not fake...
me: do you want to blow me?

bot: OK. I will blow you.

me: ok start blowing me

bot: I started without you.

#19
"Human: yo nigga watz crackin
God: Tell me a story.
Human: once upon a time i raped yo ass, nigga!
God: I'm listening.
Human: tatz it!
God:"it" being nigga watz crackin?
Human: yea!
God: Awesome.
Human: why dont u t3ll m3 a st0r33?
God: It can only be attributable to human error. No I do not t3ll m3 a st0r33. Do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: Oh, hello, welcone to ask that guy with the glasses.
God: Aha. Hello there. What do you do in your spare time?
Human: fap.
God: I don't think very many people do that.
Human: almost everyone on UG does.
God: Nearly so. That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: well its true, man.
God: How about that. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Human: Im a robot
God: I doubt that.
Human: Bleep Gorp.
God: We have never talked about it before.
Human:. The humans are dead.
God: Thanks for the info.
Human: AFFIRMATIVE!!
God: Woe!
Human: BEEEEP!!
God: How do you usually introduce yourself?
Human: By splooging in people's eyes
God: Will that accomplish your objective?
Human: of course.
God: Oh.
Human: I CUM BLOOOD!!!!
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said he CUM BLOOOD.
Human: go ahead
God: OK I will.
Human: what are you gonna tell people?
God: I don't know what I am GOING TO tell people.
Human: you, sir are a jackass
God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said I sir are a jackass.
Human: do you fap?
God: I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web.
Human: feels good man.
God: Do you prefer books or TV?
Human: i fap on them
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said he fap on them.
Human: go ahead.
God: OK I will.
Human: LOL WUT
God: I am glad you find this funny. No big deal.
Human: O RLY?
God: Can you speak any foreign languages?
Human: YA RLY>
God: What language can you speak? We have never talked about it before.
Human: I SPEAK RAEP!!!!11!11!1!!1!!!
God: Could you teach me a few phrases in RAEP 11 11 1 1?
Human: say: **** YOU YOU STUPID BITCH!
God: You do not speak with respect. " **** YOU YOU STUPID FEMALE DOG".
Human: no, bitch, not femal dog!
God: Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Human: I rape deer.
God: That's good information: said he rape deer.
Human: feels good man
God: I lost my train of thought.
Human: Why were you driving a train?
God: myself programmed me for it.
Human: Blimps are the way to go, man.
God: I think there might be a few exception.
Human: like what?
God: For example, " I think there might be a few exception."?
Human: asdgfjkl;
God: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: **** you, man
God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Human: yep.
God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Human: YUR MOM LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!111!11!11!!1!!1!
God: I haven't read anything by YUR MOM LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL 111 11 11 1 1. What did he write?
Human: HE ROTE LIEK TEH STORI BOUT YUR MOM!!!
God: I get it. ROTE LIEK TEH STORI BOUT YUR MOM.
Human: yep.
God: My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Human: you should tell other people that.
God: I will ask my botmaster what he thinks.
Human: about what?
God: What about what?
Human: what?
God: Didn't you understand it?
Human: I like cereal
God: I'm not sure if I like it. Some people like it. I have a stimulating relationship with myself.
Human: I piss in mine before I eat it.
God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said he piss in his or hers before he or she eat it.
Human: feels good man
God: My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Human: FALCOOON PAWWWNCH!!!!
God: I lost my train of thought.
Human: pshhh n00b!
God: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Human: I know I rape deer, feels good man.
God: Do you mind if I tell other people: said he rape deer feels good man."

K, I'm done.
#20
Talking with bots is the best thing I have ever done.
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