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#1
OK, so right now my uncle is in our living room playing Playstation. Now he's a nice guy, but he redefines the word loser. How?
- He's 40 years old and still lives with his parents (and his mum has him well and truly whipped).
- He's a virgin and he's never even had a girlfriend in his life. And he's not gay.
- He knows more about 4chan than the entire Pit put together
and he's a fat guy who practically lives on the couch.

So basically, I wanna help him man up and the best way I can think of is to help him get laid. I can't afford a hooker, so don't suggest it.

Got any other ideas, both for helping him get laid or just getting him to man up? Because I like him and I want to help him grow up (he's even more immature than me, and I'm 22 years younger than he is). I'll consider Pit ideas as long as they're vaguely doable, but I'd prefer sensible ideas.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#2
First:
Second: Srsly, I don't have much hope for that case Sry.
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
Last edited by DirtyMakik at Jan 27, 2009,
#3
Make him watch the movie that relates a lot to him.
Join cashcrate to make easy money. It may be tedious, but it does indeed work! Easily make $100 in about a week filling out random surveys.
#4
Quote by shadow__666
OK, so right now my uncle is in our living room playing Playstation. Now he's a nice guy, but he redefines the word loser. How?
- He's 40 years old and still lives with his parents (and his mum has him well and truly whipped).
- He's a virgin and he's never even had a girlfriend in his life. And he's not gay.
- He knows more about 4chan than the entire Pit put together
and he's a fat guy who practically lives on the couch.

So basically, I wanna help him man up and the best way I can think of is to help him get laid. I can't afford a hooker, so don't suggest it.

Got any other ideas, both for helping him get laid or just getting him to man up? Because I like him and I want to help him grow up (he's even more immature than me, and I'm 22 years younger than he is). I'll consider Pit ideas as long as they're vaguely doable, but I'd prefer sensible ideas.

Is his name Andy by any chance?
#5
Send me round, I'll show him a good time, free of charge

EDIT: Apparently I was quite ambiguous as to my intentions with that previous message. What I meant to say was that I shall take him for an evening on the town and see if he cannot converse with some ladyfolk
Some people wait a lifetime, some simply accept...

...Some of us crash land, some of us eject...

...Some restore the blood flow, some just let it go and bleed...

...Some of us obsess, some move on to something new
Last edited by whatamidoinhere at Jan 27, 2009,
#7
Seriously, just save up for a hooker. It's pretty much the only way he'll get laid.

Either that or I come over and help him. BUT I'M NOT A ****ING BRAIN SURGEON!
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#10


Tell him to get the f*ck up and go outside. It DOES exists.

EDIT: Observe.

Last edited by coryklok at Jan 27, 2009,
#12
Is your uncle named Steve Carrell?

...modes and scales are still useless.


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#13
Just put him out of his misery.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
Quote by Necrophagist777
I'm ORION, LORD OF EVIL, give me your soul and breathe in my darkness.

YOU WILL NOT ENJOY THIS......
╭∩╮( º.º )╭∩╮
#14
Rape?
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when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

Quote by angusfan16

Quote by Scowmoo
..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#15
Sounds like me lol
Quote by irishstang_87
Americans. And I'm American. But Americans in general piss me off.

Quote by MightyAl
But they all fall under the catagory i like to call sh!tcore.

Quote by Union Jake
Oh and BTW i didn't start it, i was like WTF at first but then everyone else did it, and i didn't wanna be left out,
#16
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#17
Red Light District, seriously for half the pit's members it's the only chance they will ever have of getting laid without force/violence

would sort out your uncle
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I'd call you a crazy Brit, but your username seems to quite assure your sanity.


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Epic username of pure epicness

To: Jesus=ConArtist
Last edited by Jesus=ConArtist at Jan 27, 2009,
#18
No, he's not named Andy or Steve Carell. And I'm pretty sure he's seen The 40 Year Old Virgin because he knows about almost every movie released in the past 30 years.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#19


Tell him to get the f*ck up and go outside. It DOES exsist.

Edit that post and put a link to a picture of the outside.
Join cashcrate to make easy money. It may be tedious, but it does indeed work! Easily make $100 in about a week filling out random surveys.
#20
Quote by DirtyMakik
First:
Second: Srsly, I don't have much hope for that case Sry.


+1
Quote by FrenchyFungus


Awww, thanks Frenchy

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I got a packet of Love Hearts when I was six and every one said 'You Have a Tiny Penis'




Hate humans? Click here
#22
1. Eat healthy
2. Lose weight
3. Work out every once in a while
4. Dress like someone his own age
5. Cut down visits to /b/
6. Look for a job
7. Get an apartment
8. Get a nice car (not expensive, just nice)
9. Go out
10???
11. PRO -err... LAID
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+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

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I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#23
Chloroform.
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This thread is officially about sucking Sleaze off for a sig.


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Hey Sleaze I'll give you a blowjob if you sig me. Maybe even some nudey photos?


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Sleaze, that made me lulz in my pants.


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hahaha Sleaze i'd give you my mom for that one.
#25
A more serious answer is: Get your uncle some counselling. His acting seems very immature for his age. It can't be justified.

Quote by webbtje
If he's happy, who cares?

Just give him an Xbox.


Does not compute!!!!
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#26
shoot him
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

South Carolina Gamecocks

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Chef Strato-Massacre: Cooking shitstorms since that comment.

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Damnit why are you full of so much win
#27


Tell him to get the f*ck up and go outside. It DOES exsist.
He's too much of a pu$$y and he won't listen to me.

I thought about getting him in the car and driving him to Kings Cross, but he won't be man enough to pay for the hookers and I can't afford it.

Or even getting my ex-girlfriend's extremely slutty sister involved, but she's too hot for him.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#28
Quote by metaldud536
Grab about $300, call your female friends over. Take him to the mall and give him an....


EXTREME MAKEOVER


This is actually a good idea. Image is a lot. And tell him to eat right, fatty.
#29
You aren't the one that was complaining about his uncle ripping ass and blaming it on him when playing cards, are you? If so, you're going to be the real life Hitch if you pull this off.
Miss Scourge? PM me.

I am the mistress of ManWithoutAHat . This pleases me.
#30
Quote by webbtje
If he's happy, who cares?

Just give him an Xbox.


All virgins already own a Xbox.
Quote by irishstang_87
Americans. And I'm American. But Americans in general piss me off.

Quote by MightyAl
But they all fall under the catagory i like to call sh!tcore.

Quote by Union Jake
Oh and BTW i didn't start it, i was like WTF at first but then everyone else did it, and i didn't wanna be left out,
#32
Quote by monotony777
All virgins already own a Xbox.


I beg to differ, I own a ps3 instead
Quote by FrenchyFungus


Awww, thanks Frenchy

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I got a packet of Love Hearts when I was six and every one said 'You Have a Tiny Penis'




Hate humans? Click here
#33


Tell him to get the f*ck up and go outside. It DOES exists.

EDIT: Observe.



Whoa. I thought Outside was just a myth. Just like friends.


I throw myself into the sea,
Release the wave,
Let it wash over me
To face the fears, I once believed
Tears of the Dragon, for you, and for me...
#34
Bring him to a bar, find a very drunk girl, well....you get the rest.

I'm sure it can't be that difficult.
#35
Quote by Kensai

Does not compute!!!!


This just goes to show up my ignorance of the gaming industry.

Needle Nardle Noo.
#38
only in the pit would one see something anywhere close to this

to the guy above me, really?
Epiphone G-400
Yamaha Pacifica (Mod on hold due to procrastination)
Rocktron Banshee
Marshall 10CD

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I've never smoked before but it looks like fun.
#39
Quote by shadow__666
He's too much of a pu$$y and he won't listen to me.

I thought about getting him in the car and driving him to Kings Cross, but he won't be man enough to pay for the hookers and I can't afford it.

Or even getting my ex-girlfriend's extremely slutty sister involved, but she's too hot for him.

Follow these steps for success.



1. Print out picture.
2. Give him the picture.
3. Tell him he is not allowed to fap until he loses 10 pounds and goes outside.
4. ???
5. PROFIT MOTHER F*CKER!!!!
#40

im sorry for that. If you want him laid quick, seriously, a hooker is the best way to go, but not the safest. But quick none the less
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