#1
Hey guys...first attempt at song writing and its obviously not complete yet...just got an idea for the first verse and a chorus. Its got quite a bit of meaning / open to interpretation etc but I'd rather you read it first, then you get your own take on it rather than me telling you 'what you should take' from it.

Made sick and told to be well
Told to love you but to fear you aswell
Fuhrer tell me your will
That which you'd have me do
And I'll surrender my life to you
Fuhrer I'll lay down my life for you

FUHRER
You created me
You reside within me
(with) Complete authority
(to) Dictate my life to me
Plan my infinity
Let me praise you for eternity

FUHRER
You created me
You reside within me
I wallow in self-pity
Gripped by negativity
Fearful of your fury
Please don't leave me for eternity

I have no idea whether this is good / okay / rubbish...but just wanted to get a few takes on it.
The song to me is about religion, but more generally the idea of a 'God' / supernatural leader - this obviously most readily applies to religion but has a parallel with authoritarian regimes i.e. North Korea or Nazi Germany (hence Fuhrer). People have to both 'love' and 'fear' this leader, and (mainly in religion) are told that they must be good / moral even though they have been made 'inherently sinful' (made sick and commanded to be well).

The title is just something I'm playing around with (Imaginary Fuhrer). Its a play on 'Imaginary Friend' and the word 'Father' as an allusion to God. So you have this person inside your head who, instead of being a friend is controlling you.

Anyway...let me know what you guys think whether its worth developing further, any criticisms etc - I'm expecting that its total **** but..i dunno it came pretty naturally to me so...

Cheers
Gear
ESP LTD Truckster James Hetfield Sig
120W Bugera 333 Amp
Harley Benton G212 Vintage Cab

Desired Gear
ESP EX Diamond
ISP Decimator
EHX Metal Muff
MXR 10-Band EQ

C4C
Illusory Master
#2
To be honest I find it quite a solid piece. I liked the concept you were trying to write about, this god/dictator stuff, although I believe you must change the title, because it narrows down all the possible interpretations people could give to the lyrics, people will most likely think of them to be about nazi Germany and not about all that you want to express there.
Beau, oui, comme Bowie
#3
Hey thanks for the reply

I think you might be right about the title / use of 'fuhrer' as the main word. I wanted to put it in because of the extremity and partially of its connotations to Hitler / Nazis but perhaps it is too strongly tied to them and you may be right, it ties it specifically to them preventing people seeing its general topic.
Gear
ESP LTD Truckster James Hetfield Sig
120W Bugera 333 Amp
Harley Benton G212 Vintage Cab

Desired Gear
ESP EX Diamond
ISP Decimator
EHX Metal Muff
MXR 10-Band EQ

C4C
Illusory Master