#1
If you became the substitute teacher for a middle school class for a day, what would you do? Me and my friends were discussing what I would do (seems self-centered, but they actually kinda brought it up, I'm one of my groups "distinct personalities"), and we agreed I'd just walk in "Alright, **** ALL OF YOU! JUST SO SIT IN YOUR INDIVIDUAL LITTLE CORNERS AND REFLECT ON HOW BIG OF A DOUCHEBAG YOU REALLY ARE!!". Then, to the first person who complains "YOU! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST DOUCHEBAG OF THEM ALL! JUST LEAVE!", then, pick someone and say "You, walk around and laugh at them, and remind them how big of douchebags they are. I'll be in my car sleeping.".

So, what would you do?
#3
ummmm.... I've actually been a substitute teacher... so this isn't exactly a hypothetical for me. lol.
#5
use the phrase 'you little ****ers' a bunch of times.
the minimalist σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ
#6
Buy a thesaurus, look up "douchebag" then do pretty much what you did, except better.
#8
Call pop quizzes every 3 minutes
"We were one among the fence"
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#11
Teach things totally different from what I am supposed to teach.


"Today we're learning about the formation and early career of Led Zeppelin..."
"I thought we were supposed to be learning parabolas.."
"YOU! SHUT THE **** UP! WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT LED ZEPPELIN, GODDAMMIT!!! GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND PLAY WITH YOUR SHRIMPDICK, YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF CORRODED CRAP!!! GOD, YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!! Anyways, back in 1968 Jimmy Page was..."
Did you know the odds of a Vault-Tec shelter failing are 1,763,497 to 1?

So imagine life in a Vault-Tec Vault. Not just a future.
A brighter future... underground.

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
Last edited by FloyDZeD at Jan 27, 2009,
#12
Quote by FloyDZeD
Teach things totally different from what I am supposed to teach.


"Today we're learning about the formation and early career of Led Zeppelin..."
"I thought we were supposed to be learning parabolas.."
"YOU! SHUT THE **** UP! WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT LED ZEPPELIN, GODDAMMIT!!!"

Win!
#13
Quote by herby190
...just leave.

You didn't let me finish,

I would teach things, like the anatomy of the female. I would then distribute porn, and then jack off and shoot a load on one of the students.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#14
Quote by dubstar92
You didn't let me finish,

I would teach things, like the anatomy of the female. I would then distribute porn, and then jack off and shoot a load on one of the students.

Oh. Then you may stay. Good job.
#15
Quote by FloyDZeD
Teach things totally different from what I am supposed to teach.


"Today we're learning about the formation and early career of Led Zeppelin..."
"I thought we were supposed to be learning parabolas.."
"YOU! SHUT THE **** UP! WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT LED ZEPPELIN, GODDAMMIT!!! GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND PLAY WITH YOUR SHRIMPDICK, YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF CORRODED CRAP!!! GOD, YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!! Anyways, back in 1968 Jimmy Page was..."


Amen, maybe they would listen to better music after said teachers lesson
No means maybe
#18
I'd form a band like in that movie School of Rock, except it'd be the largest symphonic death/black metal band EVER. Like 30 people in one giant band. THAT sir, is brutal.

OR

Form a giant band, and play Dethharmonic!!!

"I'd rather you be dead than ponder parting with my second home
I'd rather you be dead than consider not opening a restaurant

I'd rather you be dead, I'd rather you be dead

Prepare the laser-beam, I'm gonna use it tonight

Engage the laser-beam, It's gonna end your life

I'm gonna use it tonight!"

Oh and we'd have the giant laser light show too.
#19
Quote by FloyDZeD
Teach things totally different from what I am supposed to teach.


"Today we're learning about the formation and early career of Led Zeppelin..."
"I thought we were supposed to be learning parabolas.."
"YOU! SHUT THE **** UP! WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT LED ZEPPELIN, GODDAMMIT!!! GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND PLAY WITH YOUR SHRIMPDICK, YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF CORRODED CRAP!!! GOD, YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!! Anyways, back in 1968 Jimmy Page was..."



led zeppelin? those gosh derned kids with them hippity hoppity music wont know what zeppelin is!

you have to hook them up to p.a.'s and blast it as loud as you can.

sooner or later, they will see the way.
or be deaf.
it depends
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That is quite unique...

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What? She said "just solder it back together"?


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"Hey guys check out this cool penis!"


LOL
#20
The same thing i do every day, Pinky......


Try to take over the world!
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#21
Quote by FloyDZeD
Teach things totally different from what I am supposed to teach.


"Today we're learning about the formation and early career of Led Zeppelin..."
"I thought we were supposed to be learning parabolas.."
"YOU! SHUT THE **** UP! WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT LED ZEPPELIN, GODDAMMIT!!! GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND PLAY WITH YOUR SHRIMPDICK, YOU DISGUSTING PIECE OF CORRODED CRAP!!! GOD, YOU MAKE ME SICK!!!! Anyways, back in 1968 Jimmy Page was..."



you should say, no we are going to learn about the history of Tool later!!!
#24
I'd give them the worst mindf*ck ever. I'm talking undoing all those years of education to the point of getting up confused with down.
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
Quote by LegsOnEarth
Wait 5 hours
Be accused by the promoter of being late
Get told we have only a 10 minute set
Play pure noise for 10 minutes

Worst and most amusing gig of my life.

Anyone else had this kind of **** happen?!

Dimebag had a worse gig.
#25
Quote by daeqwon10000
Become a pedophile

...wtf?

edit: lol vv
Last edited by connor045 at Jan 27, 2009,
#26
I'd make the students do their previously scheduled work.

And by students, I mean ladies. And by do, I mean "make sexxy time." And by previously scheduled work, I mean "with me".
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#30
I would scientifically disprove the following:

love
idealism
the Bible
hope

I would make those kids just as ****ing cynical as I am.
He's a freak of nature, but we love him so.

Quote by John Frusciante
Music isn't the Olympics. It's not about showing other people what you can do with a piece of wood in your hands that has strings on, it's about making sounds that are good.