#1
On my UG profile I have my song "Stop The Rain" it was written as a dedication to my girlfriend and lover. I understand it's quite long and in return for your crit I will be willing to crit two songs of yours. I know that there is a bit of audio overload nearing the end of the track, there was nothing I could really do about without having to change the entire track audio setup. Equipment wise I used an Ibanez Artcore AFS75T Hollow Body. For the bass I digitally lowered that same guitar an octave down. I used a Peavey 258 EFX combo amp and a digitech Grunge pedal for the distorted parts.

Also...please note that if the song of yours you want me to critique is on Myspace...I cannot access myspace from this computer and I won't be able to critique your work.
The Pit. The Movie.
Last edited by Spay at Jan 28, 2009,
#2
hey man..i posted my crit on your profile..hit me back?
Edit: your crit on my songs "hopefully" and "misstaken premsastered" would be greatly appreiciated.
Last edited by HIM%(^ at Jan 28, 2009,
#3
Alright, critting them now. Thanks for the crit. I'm leaving the comments and critiques on the song comments section.
The Pit. The Movie.
#4
I like this a lot, with the interaction between the bass and drums. I like all the different feelings in the song!

If I had to say what would make it better, perhaps a little less treble on the heavier parts - might be the recording stuff though.

Great effort my friend!
#5
Thanks a bunch, but like said before. Since mine was so long and yours was fairly short, if you want I'll crit another one of your works to make us even.
The Pit. The Movie.
#6
The lead parts at 2:20 before the distortion was really cool. How long have you been playing? I liked how the whole song was orchestrated, it's got a very nice melody and you have a good transition from clean to dirty. Not to mention the lead guitar kicked ass, the bass was a nice touch.

Only crit would be like Jackolas said, maybe lower the treble and work on the tone for the heavy guitar parts a little. Other that, your composing and playing are awesome. I'm not even gonna lie it's better than most things I could come up with.

Edit:
Can you crit mine? It's a 6 min song with some work left to do on it but i've kept the simplified version. My singing sucks BTW.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7285997
High Cardinal of Zeppelinism PM TheHeartbreaker to join and
"Co-Founder (and Yoda) of the Star Wars Universe. PM me or SethMegadefan to join.


' " The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death"...'-p.269-Deathly Hallows
Last edited by zeppelinpage4 at Jan 28, 2009,
#7
After listening to the whole thing, I really like it. I'd be careful about the timing on some parts, the bass note and drums don't see eye to eye at some parts. And I realize your equipment is lacking so the drum beat suffers, but it's still overall too low, volume wise,and seems tacky at times, though again, I know you can't really do anything about it. I like the lead guitar parts though. Transitions from clean to dirty and effect to effect could in general be a bit smoother, but otherwise are pretty good. Also for the lead part around 5:00, as awesome as it is, it's a little bit off timing, so you might want to keep recording till you really nail it perfectly. It might be just the lack of lyrics and my personal general dislike of instrumental pieces, but the whole thing seemed either too much; as in, though there was a reoccurring melody, mostly the song seemed to have random melodies together to make one song. I couldn't really pick up any story being told because of all the transitions. I would just work on each track one by one till you really get it perfect without obvious mistakes. However, overall, I really liked it and think that for a year or so you're doing really well, much better than me, and keep up the good work.

If you'd like to crit something I've started to work on today, hit up "Hear Them Whisper" in my profile, and/or any other random song you'd like to give me your opinion on. Thanks, and good luck
Last edited by spidersonic at Jan 28, 2009,
#8
Thanks a bunch. I've been playing for little over a year...maybe a year and half. xD Unfortunatly, that's the best tone I get for distortion from that guitar, which kind of frustrates me.

I'll crit as I listen xD

Your acoustic section sounds wonderful. It gives the entire song a nice vibe and atmosphere. The tone for you lead/slide guitar is wonderful but it sounds like your playing is slightly off at times and it sounds out of tune.

When you start playing the full chords near the vocal section the lead sounds great.

You don't sound horrible, you're just singing too softly. It's true that the louder you sing the easier it is to hit the right notes. I can't really understand what you're saying but I get the jist of the melody and if you were to sing a little louder with some more confidence then I think it would sound fine.

After the first verse you have a wonderful, absolutely beautiful solo. I love it. Also...this just came to me...if you were to add reverb or echo to your vocals I think that would sound absolutely heavenly.

Overall it's a very very nice song. I like the arrangements and, save for the beginning, the leads are very beautiful and the rythym and lead sections compliment each other beautifully. If you were to just sing a little more confidently and just add some reverb then I think you got yourself a really really great piece. Cheers!
The Pit. The Movie.
#9
^ Thanks

Your advice was really helpful, i'll get to reworking some of those this week. Hopefully get a newer version up on the forums in a few days. As for not understanding me, I was actually speaking a made up language. There is meaning and stuff but I can put the translation with the song when it's complete.
High Cardinal of Zeppelinism PM TheHeartbreaker to join and
"Co-Founder (and Yoda) of the Star Wars Universe. PM me or SethMegadefan to join.


' " The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death"...'-p.269-Deathly Hallows
#10
I likethis song, it took me on a ride of emotions and I can only imagine how strongly it must have made you feel to wrote it.

Only thing I'd be aiming to improve is the timing in certain sections.

Other than that love it.

I only have 2 short songs in my profile as I'm a bit of a newbie here, feel free to crit.
#12
On the technical side, your timing could be alot better in the first part after the initial intro. There's some parts that could be better other than that, but it's not particulary noticable. The distorded sound could probably use a lot more mid. The drum machine obviously feels a bit lame but it's not particulary relevant I guess.

Now for the song itself. It's a tad repetitive, but still manages to be surprisingly intresting despite the simple structure and length.

The bit from the introduction of distorsion and to the solo feels most repetitive, and could probably been cut short a bit or otherwise made more intresting.

I really like the solo (4:36) itself, however it feels like you're very bound to the first beat of each measure. I think it'd sound much smoother if you just added some fills around in the end of some measures, leading to whatever's in the next bar.

The distorted part after the solo feels a little meh, but the following clean part(s) is absolutely brilliant! The re-introduction of distorted guitar is well-placed and the whole escalation towards the end is really solid work. The ending feels a bit weird, personally I'd either have a ring-out and then the drums (plus perhaps bass) continuing to later fade out, or I'd have a big ending chord - but not both, like it is. That's just me though.


Overall, while it could be a bit better produced/executed and could use some polishing at times, I really like it. Got a really nice feel to it.

I'd be grateful if you could crit the song in my profile!
#13
Quote by spidersonic
After listening to the whole thing, I really like it. I'd be careful about the timing on some parts, the bass note and drums don't see eye to eye at some parts. And I realize your equipment is lacking so the drum beat suffers, but it's still overall too low, volume wise,and seems tacky at times, though again, I know you can't really do anything about it. I like the lead guitar parts though. Transitions from clean to dirty and effect to effect could in general be a bit smoother, but otherwise are pretty good. Also for the lead part around 5:00, as awesome as it is, it's a little bit off timing, so you might want to keep recording till you really nail it perfectly. It might be just the lack of lyrics and my personal general dislike of instrumental pieces, but the whole thing seemed either too much; as in, though there was a reoccurring melody, mostly the song seemed to have random melodies together to make one song. I couldn't really pick up any story being told because of all the transitions. I would just work on each track one by one till you really get it perfect without obvious mistakes. However, overall, I really liked it and think that for a year or so you're doing really well, much better than me, and keep up the good work.

If you'd like to crit something I've started to work on today, hit up "Hear Them Whisper" in my profile, and/or any other random song you'd like to give me your opinion on. Thanks, and good luck


Thanks, yeah I'm really limited in my recording ability. All that I have to record with is Audacity and a USB headset x3 So I'm making the best with it. And really I just make up the song as I go...that's why some of my songs tend to be really repetitive...I just don't know if I'll add more later and I just make long sections just incase I do.

I really like "Hear Them Whisper" the entire vibe of the song is really really nice. Although, the sound effects with the wind you might want to tone down...they sound kind of artificial, which bothers me a little, but I'm not saying it's a bad idea, it does add atmosphere to the song. The vocals are very nice and they mix with the guitar pretty much flawlessly. It kind of reminds me of Dinosaur Jr. in some small way. Very nice, PM when you get the rest of the song down.

I also listened to "Be Mine" and honestly I was very touched. The imperfect yet 'perfect for the song' vocals are really really nice and the guitar and vocals intertwine just roughly enough to create something very heartfelt and beautiful. I love it, finish it, seriously. Keep the format of just guitar and vocals
The Pit. The Movie.
Last edited by Spay at Jan 29, 2009,
#14
Pretty cool song.
CLICK ME

Quote by lrc95

hi, i was just wondering how to post a thread?

Quote by AS I LAY DYING!
and USD is equal to how much in US dollars?

Quote by Armchair Bronco
Everyone must own a DS-1 at some point in their playing career.

^^idiots

#15
Quote by Robshots
I likethis song, it took me on a ride of emotions and I can only imagine how strongly it must have made you feel to wrote it.

Only thing I'd be aiming to improve is the timing in certain sections.

Other than that love it.

I only have 2 short songs in my profile as I'm a bit of a newbie here, feel free to crit.


I've never heard the original to your cover of "Right Here Waiting", so I'm not able to guage it against the original, which I guess can be considered good or bad. But I absolutely LOVE the tone of your instrumentation. The twelve string you're using sounds superb, fantastic, gorgeous. No seeable flaws in your playing either. The one thing I'd do is I'd bulk up the vocals maybe by overdubbing them with you singing or harmonizing yourself.

Your other song was really just a really great kick up your feet and feel good kind of song. That was a joy to listen to. Silly and classy and fun, love it. One thing that I've noticed is that you seem to tend to sing through your nose, which gives your vocals a little bit of a thin tone. You're almost exactly on key all the time, it's just you sing through you're nose a little bit. It's nothing to major, but I'm just noting it. I love the ending with you just vocalizing a fade out and that was just really nice. I like the song, it's a great piece.
The Pit. The Movie.
Last edited by Spay at Jan 29, 2009,
#16
Quote by Spay
I've never heard the original to your cover of "Right Here Waiting", so I'm not able to guage it against the original, which I guess can be considered good or bad. But I absolutely LOVE the tone of your instrumentation. The twelve string you're using sounds superb, fantastic, gorgeous. No seeable flaws in your playing either. The one thing I'd do is I'd bulk up the vocals maybe by overdubbing them with you singing or harmonizing yourself.

Your other song was really just a really great kick up your feet and feel good kind of song. That was a joy to listen to. Silly and classy and fun, love it. One thing that I've noticed is that you seem to tend to sing through your nose, which gives your vocals a little bit of a thin tone. You're almost exactly on key all the time, it's just you sing through you're nose a little bit. It's nothing to major, but I'm just noting it. I love the ending with you just vocalizing a fade out and that was just really nice. I like the song, it's a great piece.


Thanks so much for the feedback, especially the singing feedback, I really want to improve in that area! So any tips are greatly appreciated.
#17
Quote by descara
On the technical side, your timing could be alot better in the first part after the initial intro. There's some parts that could be better other than that, but it's not particulary noticable. The distorded sound could probably use a lot more mid. The drum machine obviously feels a bit lame but it's not particulary relevant I guess.

Now for the song itself. It's a tad repetitive, but still manages to be surprisingly intresting despite the simple structure and length.

The bit from the introduction of distorsion and to the solo feels most repetitive, and could probably been cut short a bit or otherwise made more intresting.

I really like the solo (4:36) itself, however it feels like you're very bound to the first beat of each measure. I think it'd sound much smoother if you just added some fills around in the end of some measures, leading to whatever's in the next bar.

The distorted part after the solo feels a little meh, but the following clean part(s) is absolutely brilliant! The re-introduction of distorted guitar is well-placed and the whole escalation towards the end is really solid work. The ending feels a bit weird, personally I'd either have a ring-out and then the drums (plus perhaps bass) continuing to later fade out, or I'd have a big ending chord - but not both, like it is. That's just me though.


Overall, while it could be a bit better produced/executed and could use some polishing at times, I really like it. Got a really nice feel to it.

I'd be grateful if you could crit the song in my profile!


Well, orchestra pieces aren't really in my jurisdiction to be able to critique, but I'll try anyway xD First thing that I really noticed was that during the first minute or so of the piece your strings section sound a little bit strange, I can't put my finger on it, but if you're using a synth then it would explain everything. The first minute I didn't find musically all that interesting, as if it wasn't picking up fast enough, but as soon as you started to really bring in some of those nice harmonies you created something brilliant and something that really was able to hold my attention. From then on you really kept me on my toes by adding those little dissident tones and melodies and that really kept it interesting. Nearing the end it was brilliant. The faint vocals you had really adding that special something to the song and I was kind of disappointed when you stopped after the piano kicked in, because that sounded absolutely superb. You have to PM me whenever you finish this.
The Pit. The Movie.