#1
Verse 1

We don't, cloud up smoke and disappear
We talk, loud but not too clear
Rewind back and overwrite
Knowing exactly what you'll find
In the blank space, on the blank tapes

chorus

can you please be patient with me
im betting on the side of the underdog
can you please be patient with me
can you please have faith in me
im banking on the tide vs the undertow
so you see theres nothing to see

verse 2.

---------------
---------------
I'm always nauseous on this ride
from looking backwards the whole time
I know, that it can't be good for me

chorus


verse 3/end

We don't, f*ck around
#2
its good you have a good idea for a song
but i don't know if its just me or the way im puting the song together in my head but the course sounds funny just with the see rhyming with see and the me with me
what kind of vibe are trying to give with this song is it heavy soft
other then that it was good

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1056526
Ill say more if u tell me the tone and crit mine
#3
its a mellow song, makes me think of the gin blossoms if that helps. chorus and verse are similar they sort of flow into one another
#4
haha o ok now i hear it its really good i was thinking heavy metal so it didnt sound right vay nice powerful song keep it up i would love to hear the fin piece
#5
Verse 1

We don't, cloud up smoke and disappear
We talk, loud but not too clear (I like the opening.)
Rewind back and overwrite (rewinding is not good in combination with back.)Knowing exactly what you'll find
In the blank space, on the blank tapes

chorus

can you please be patient with me
im betting on the side of the underdog (I don't like the flow of these lines)can you please be patient with me
can you please have faith in me
im banking on the tide vs the undertow
so you see theres nothing to see (not 100% original, but nice couple of lines)

A very interesting idea of a song.
Would you like to take a look at my piece? Axis of Denial
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1057501