#1
Ever thing i seem to wright turns out to sound like a rap im trying to write a mix between
heavy metal and grudge just basically every thing and they words seem to go together like a rap ill give you an example off the top of my head

umm.. a course

lacking what they behold my future i cant control
were dieing before were old falling to lake of souls

the man i wish to be..is right in front of me
some one help me please I cant control me.

and i have worse ones i just cant remember how they go lol
well some one help!!!
#2
Experiment. Try writing lyrics to the melody of a favorite metal song of yours.
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#3
uh, try writing in a different pattern
like you have 2 lines back to back that rhyme with eachother
try something like ABAB
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#4
Weird....I read that and thought of a kinda slow metal/hard rock song.
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Awwww, Jackal....

...did you perform the rape while he was alive or after the heinous killing?
#5
Maybe try writing without any melody in mind. Depending on the writing, the pace of the words might not speak to the content.
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#6
it probably sounds like a rap to you because of the couplet rhyme scheme.
in any case, this is the wrong forum. try reposting in the techniques subforum.

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