#1
She's got the goods that I need,
Or at least that's what I tell myself.
She tells me she's got the golden ticket,
And she's gonna take me for a ride.
She takes my money but I don't care,
'Cause she's got the power to blow my mind.
Now I've got this burning desire, and its starting to grow old.

Just a piece that I wrote up to fit a riff I've been toying with for a while, more to come hopefully. Just looking for some opinions on what I've currently got.
Call me Dom
Quote by Dmaj7
I don't know how to count canadians, the metric system is hard

Quote by gregs1020
well if lbj pokes his head in here and there's no nuts shit's gonna go doooooooowwwwwwwwwn.



{Pedalboard Thread Native: The Muffin Man}
#2
how dose the riff go i cant really place it if u tell me like a related song riff to place it to i could crit u better
other then that I liked it. PM the sound or reply it in here and ill crit you better
#3
Now I've got this burning desire
sounds like fire-jimihendrix. but w/e

i dont like how almost every lines is ..she...
talk about other things than her.
focus on the train, etc too.
#4
how could I change it to keep from having she too often? I am really busy with school and working but I'll try to get a basic recording of the riff up.
Call me Dom
Quote by Dmaj7
I don't know how to count canadians, the metric system is hard

Quote by gregs1020
well if lbj pokes his head in here and there's no nuts shit's gonna go doooooooowwwwwwwwwn.



{Pedalboard Thread Native: The Muffin Man}