Three people
never would've spoken otherwise.
stood outside that room like a lobby is a hospital.
We have two things in common.
The girl that's coming,
The boy that's gone.
I saw his face today. Big and smiling and like he never
knew what he'd do
to us.
I'm not saying i forgot you!
but that part of me called You
was just shading itself back in,
little criss crosses and dark patches.
Now it's stark white and full of nothing
and sadness and I don't know if it's starker this time.
And this isn't my place.
We weren't so close.
So i walk down the corridor
and glare at the bright lights-
this is not a special occasion, dim yourselves, please.

This is the worst hurt.
It is unique.
I know you think that I'm someone you can trust.
But I'm scared i'll get scared and i swear i'll try to nail you back up.

Female SouperHero
In short ,

I liked your storytelling .I didn't like the story that much . It was ok but didn't hit me that much emotionally.It can be me though .

My main problem was the structure of the piece.