#1
With my newest piece, I tried to write a real Post-rock song, because I fell in love with this type of music recently.
The main bass line was influenced by Mogwai, because I saw them last year in Munich and started writing a few days later. I dont think it's very close, tough

So I hope you'll like it!
Constructive criticism would be great as usual, but please dont say "it's repetetive", because I already know that
Again, I'm not very happy with my "Transitions", so suggestions concering that would be great, too!
Last edited by Quicksand15 at Mar 13, 2009,
#2
Hi, first I'd like to say I really liked this song. It's one of those songs that makes you stop what you're doing and just listen, entranced. That's a good thing.

So far, I haven't really critiqued your piece, so here goes :p

First part. Good opener sets the tone and suchlike, I like the way you bring in the guitar. My only gripe is that the drums are a bit too sparse in this bit. I seem to recall you like them to be like that, which is fine. It means you've achieved what you set out to do well. For me though, I'd say throw in a few more ghosted snare notes. Now that I've started listening to Opeth, I always look to them for inspiration in writing slower drum pieces, which I suppose means that i'm trying to inflict my musical tastes on your piece :p.

Second part with the synth break is nice. Creates a really laid back atmosphere, and then when the clean guitar arpeggios come in it steps up a bit, which gives the piece a really good change in moods throughout.

I for one, like the way you've not really hammered through the riffs in the song. I like a bit of repetition, it lets you judge the emotion of the song a lot better.

The break is ok at this part, it works. However, I personally don't the '35535-' arpeggio'd chord in there. I think it changes the mood of the song dramtically. Like I say though, if you like it by all means keep it in there.

When the rest of the band enters the song again it feels right. Nothing wrong with the transition into it there, although I personally believe it would sound better only having the open hi-hat to lead into that part, and ignore the toms before that.

I also think that the drums rely too heavily on the ride throughout the song. I know it's stupid to say and then not come up with a possible solution, but I can't think of one myself.

The two tremolo lines add a really good layering to this part of the song as well, nice touch.

Break. I feel that this part doesn't work all that well in going into the heavy part. I'd suggest leaving a space in the music, rather than having the one guitar play. After this, keep the drum rhythm the same however change it from '46 and 36' then '46 and 36' to '36' then '46 and 38'. I hope i explained that right, basically get it going 'boom-cha' before the heavy part.

Heavy part of the song was well done, I've got no complaints there, I especially like the use of the open hi-hat, it really drives the part along. Good use of bass as well, the chords work really nicely.

Breakdown works really well in transitioning back into the first part of the song again. Interesting melody changes help as well.

Personally i'd change the fill at the end as well. In fact, I'll add the file at the end with my suggested changes : )

I really like the guitar 2 line hear as well.

Synth inclusion works. Nothing need change here.

Clean guitar coming in is fine.

In fact, all of this end bit is brilliant.

Well done!

9.5/10 , I think you need only change a few tiny bits.
Attachments:
fill.zip
Last edited by Gerbs at Jan 30, 2009,
#3
That was lovely. I was feelin' that, the whole way though. It's my kind of music.
I'll have to listen to it with speakers sometime. (I'm on a laptop)

The transitions, I couldn't see any problems?! It all turned out great! I can definitely see the influences.
#4
Oh, and I forgot to mention how much I loved the bassline you've written for the 2nd Melody part, and previous. Really good.
#5
first of all, thank you very much, especially gerbs for taking so much time to make a crit! i really appreciate that, glad you liked it

I feel that this part doesn't work all that well in going into the heavy part.
yeah i dont like that part either. i think im going to try a few different things there...i think it changes the mood too fast =/

concerning the ride thing: hm yeah, i thought of that as well, but for me, hi-hat wouldn't fit to the mood...so i just went for ride
and i will try some ghost notes for the drums, as well. thanks for the suggestion!

it lets you judge the emotion of the song a lot better.
just listen, entranced
wow, you obviously got it perfectly

oh and cool that you pointed out the bass, as well! it really drives the song for me =)