#1
Well Pit,

Do any of you remember The-Leader's mighty thread about his epic fart? I beat it.

So tonight me and my Dad went out to dinner, seeing as my Mom and Sister werent home. We were seated by the friendly staff, and as usual we chatted up the waitress, and got our drinks. Well out of nowhere comes this lady, stumblin' and teeterin' along the aisles between the tables. So she starts off on this sob-story about her dead friends, and fiance, (Kinda like that old Jim Caroll song, minus the awesome.) Well we buy her dinner out of a sort of pity. Oh, and she tried to sell us pills... Then she tried to buy from us...

So after i'd finished my plate of grub, i sat there pondering while i listened to the music flow around my mind. Well, heres the epic.

I had this evil, twisted, epic idea. My Dad has a friend of sorts named Tom, who is the bartender at a local resturant/bar, and he's well... A jackass. So i figured, "What better thing to do on a friday night, than to drop a drugged out chick off with ol' Tom?" So i asked Dad if he was working tonight, and we didnt know, so i went up front and asked the owner for a phonebook to look up the joint's number.

Well about this time she decides to leave to go, "Make a phone call." And i was certain she'd ditched us, and was about to scoot off faster than a cop after donuts.
But fear not, fearless reader, she returned, and if possible was even more stoned!

So she falls over ****, knocks over a chair, gropes us with her gnarly meathooks, ( ) and then slithers out of the door. Floatin' and stingin' like Mohammad Ali, we pour her into the Chevy, and drive over. Well now she started gettin' friendly, telling us all about the places she'd been booted out of over the night. Oh, and her boyfriend too.

Well we get there, and she staggers around on her phone for a bit, periodically, and colorfully informing us that we needed to wait up. The mission went over well, we steered her at the door, and she sunk right into the sin. Some derelict character by the name of John picked the floozy up without pause. The condition of the subject was questionable by the time she got to Tom, seeing as we got the hell out of there about as fast as we could.

Well UG, whaddaya think?
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
Last edited by p o e at Jan 30, 2009,
#3
That just sounds...mean.
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LET'S GO BUCKS
#4
Sorry I didn't get to the end but you and your dad banged this chick?
Quote by red18420
There is no point except party and be healthy and happy. Also money is not something to live for. If i didnt need money for drugs and beer i would give mine away.


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#7
She could have gotten raped and murdered because of you, and yet you let her slip away to tom.
Any spelling or grammatical errors written above are because of my inferior brain to yours. Good job, you won life.
#8
lol

mean or not, at least the story was engaging and i was entertained


props dude
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#9
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.
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Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

Quote by tremeloud

The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

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Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
#10
Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.

Sigged, my kind friend.

Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#11
Quote by p o e

Well we get there, and she staggers around on her phone for a bit, periodically, and colorfully informing us that we needed to wait up. The mission went over well, we steered her at the door, and she sunk right into the sin. Sme derelict character by the name of John picked the floozy up without pause. The condition of the subject was questionable by the time she got to Tom, seeing as we got the hell out of there about as fast as we could.

Well UG, whaddaya think?

RIP Jasmine You.

Lieutenant of the 7-string/ERG Legion

Quote by FaygoBro420
Yo wassup, I'm trying to expand my musical horizons if you know what I mean, so can anybody reccomend me some cool Juggalo jazz?
#12
Quote by p o e
Sigged, my kind friend.


oh well thank you...
Quote by Vagabond21
Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

Quote by tremeloud

The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
#13
Oh well, i guess stories of random idiocy aren't cool anymore.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.
#14
Quote by p o e
Oh well, i guess stories of random idiocy aren't cool anymore.

It would have been cooler if, rather than ditching her, you and your dad had double teamed her, whilst high fiving.
#16
You chat up waitresses with your married father? Damn, I'd be so uncomfortable in that sort of situation.
#17
Quote by MightyAl
It would have been cooler if, rather than ditching her, you and your dad had double teamed her, whilst high fiving.

for some reason everytime i think of a double team, i always think that they high five each other too.
#19
Well, ya know, my dad and me. We have standards, and this chick didn't even warrant a look over.
Jesus wouldn't give you the sweat off of his balls if you were dying of thirst.
Quote by Code-E
God, you've gotta be UG's only moron!


Quote by magnum1117
that's right,you certainly are UG's only moron.


Quote by necrosis1193
Read the moron's posts, ironically enough he knows what he says.