#1
Im asking obviously because I havent been to one, but:

1. Do people have sex on nude beaches?
2. What do guys do if they like what they see?
#2
Quote by Ace.
Im asking obviously because I havent been to one, but:

1. Do people have sex on nude beaches?
2. What do guys do if they like what they see?


They have erections.
Due what you want as long as you vote Due!
#3
Quote by Ace.
Im asking obviously because I havent been to one, but:

1. Do people have sex on nude beaches?
2. What do guys do if they like what they see?

Dig a hole or start thinking about something else...
#9
Quote by weezergeek182

2. I'm gonna say they they mind their own business or
get slapped


Or perhaps turkey slapped in this context.
#10
1. no
2. they jerk off while cruisin the beach. at least, that's what I do
I'm Steve
#11
1. no (uhhhhh DUHHHHHHHH)
2. they get erections. and if they are me, they walk up to the lady and tell her, "did you fall from the sky? cuz ive got a boner!"
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#13
two choices

Dig a hole and roll over, or let your flag fly
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lol?
#14
Quote by Ace.
Im asking obviously because I havent been to one, but:

1. Do people have sex on nude beaches?
2. What do guys do if they like what they see?


1. Yes, it's basically a crazy oceanic orgy.

2. You dig a hole near there crotch, lay towel over said hole (so you don't get sand on wang, because c'mon, no one wants a sandy wang) and lay face down with wang in towel in the hole.
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#17
Quote by CFH82
1. Yes, it's basically a crazy oceanic orgy.

2. You dig a hole near there crotch, lay towel over said hole (so you don't get sand on wang, because c'mon, no one wants a sandy wang) and lay face down with wang in towel in the hole.


but then u get a mouthful of sand. that has probably had unprotected wangs in it. :stickpoke
If a mortal stands before us
Strike him down with sleight of hand.
And if heaven rides against us
Then God himself must be damned.


Computer Science major! Apple enthusiast!
I wear Vibrams and type with Dvorak!
#18
Quote by Ace.
Im asking obviously because I havent been to one, but:

1. Do people have sex on nude beaches?
2. What do guys do if they like what they see?


1. No. To my knowledge there's no sex on nude beaches.

2. Lay down on your back and build a sandcastle. Put your little buddy in the tallest tower. That's where the princess is.
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that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
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SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#20
Quote by Ace.
Im asking obviously because I havent been to one, but:

1. Do people have sex on nude beaches?
2. What do guys do if they like what they see?


Nude beaches sound like a great concept but....

1. The primary people on a nude beach is semi-old people. And while old people have sex, the beach is prolly a little to avant-garde for them.

2. You will prolly not see what you like. Unless you have a grandma fetish, (even though this is the pit I pray you stop at MILF).

Other men on the beach are probably old as well. Getting and keeping an erection is difficult under ideal cicumstances. Factoring in water temperature and public humiliation. The Boner is hard to come by.
#21
there are some awesome beaches in greece that i went to that arnt nude, but people dont wear clothes anyway.
ive found this to be the best solution because you can observe the wildlife without the danger of an exposed boner.
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▼Now he thinks he's a fire engine
#22
Quote by Captain Insano
Nude beaches sound like a great concept but....

1. The primary people on a nude beach is semi-old people. And while old people have sex, the beach is prolly a little to avant-garde for them.

2. You will prolly not see what you like. Unless you have a grandma fetish, (even though this is the pit I pray you stop at MILF).

Other men on the beach are probably old as well. Getting and keeping an erection is difficult under ideal cicumstances. Factoring in water temperature and public humiliation. The Boner is hard to come by.


lol, they are all old, i assume its all like that beach in euro trip.....

well done

Is bad ass one or two words?
#23
Quote by ToastYerLicks
1. No. To my knowledge there's no sex on nude beaches.

2. Lay down on your back and build a sandcastle. Put your little buddy in the tallest tower. That's where the princess is.
Im gonna have to give your toaster a 5 out of 10 stars. My toaster on the other hand can make four pieces of toast at once. FOUR! Plus mine can fit bagels. Jealous?

But on Topic

1: There's no sex on the beaches. But in the Ocean you can just go nuts.

2: Well, i would assume they would get an erection but they could have ED so you never know.
Beers on me
#24
Quote by i_killed_bill
1. No. That's the worst thing you can do in a nudist setting.

2. Bring a towel



How is it the worst thing you can do in a nudist setting?
O what a disgrace if such a despised and base race, which worships demons, should conquer a people which has the faith of omnipotent God and is made glorious with the name of Christ!

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#25
Quote by MHDrunk
How is it the worst thing you can do in a nudist setting?

Because nudists try to focus on the natural beauty of nudity and not the sexual aspect.
#26
Quote by spacejamismyjam
Im gonna have to give your toaster a 5 out of 10 stars. My toaster on the other hand can make four pieces of toast at once. FOUR! Plus mine can fit bagels. Jealous?

But on Topic

1: There's no sex on the beaches. But in the Ocean you can just go nuts.

2: Well, i would assume they would get an erection but they could have ED so you never know.


Knave? Are you suggesting that we have a toaster throwdown?

I'd totally sig you but I'm all out of room. Sorry.
Quote by jetfuel495
that is one goddamn shiny mother****ing toaster you have there
Quote by Dog--
It seems the top of those waffles are burnt.
Quote by imdeth
The toast has little red arrows growing from it. Nobody wants that.

SHUDDUP AND EAT YER TOAST
#27
Quote by ToastYerLicks
Knave? Are you suggesting that we have a toaster throwdown?
That is in fact what im suggesting, Flag Pole three o' clock, you and your toaster better be there . P.S Mine has a cancel button.
Beers on me
#28
Quote by ToastYerLicks
1. No. To my knowledge there's no sex on nude beaches.

2. Lay down on your back and build a sandcastle. Put your little buddy in the tallest tower. That's where the princess is.



i am sexually aroused from looking at your toaster
#29
1. no
2. nothing really, no one is going to care, unless you're like staring at someone for a long time whilst having an erection, that would be kind of creepy and would draw attention.
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#30
Quote by canucks11
i am sexually aroused from looking at your toaster

why the **** is his toaster toasting arrows?

#31
Quote by GODhimself37
1. no (uhhhhh DUHHHHHHHH)
2. they get erections. and if they are me, they walk up to the lady and tell her, "did you fall from the sky? cuz ive got a boner!"




best. pickup-line. ever.


EDIT:

this was my first experience with nudists. i made a thread about it awhile ago. giant wall of text warning:

so today i went with a bunch of friends to this gorge near me. there are straight vertical cliffs on both sides of the water so you can jump off them, there are waterfalls you can swim under etc etc. i had never been there before, and neither had one of the girls that was with us, but the rest of my friends had been there numerous times. in the car ride up, one of my friends jokingly commented "i hope when we get up there, there's gonna be lots of naked old hippies!". my other friend adds, "never been up there when there werent". i thought they were kidding...

we got there and its a little bit of a hike down this trail to get to one of the jumping spots (there are a bunch). after about a five minute walk, we arrive, and its PACKED with people. probably around 40ish people in a tiny area. so im just chilling thinking "wow this is pretty sweet, i can dig this place. its ****ing gorgeous here, i should come back with my camera sometime and take some pictures, etc etc".

so i take off my shoes and my shirt and move down the rock ledge a bit so i can get to the edge to jump off. im still in my natural state of ecstasy being completely rocked by the extreme beauty of the place when, BAM, laying in front of me is a 55 year old fat man, bare ass naked smiling at me. WTF?????

ill digress from the story for a moment to fill in some back story. the town we were in is known to be one of the most hippy places around. hell, there is a commons which is a section of small mom & pop shops, that has at least 4 stores that sell bowls/salvia/hemp clothing, etc. apparently is just accepted practice at the gorges for people to walk around naked. and everyone knows that hippies like to be naked. so moving back to the story....

well, at this first spot there is said naked dude, and another dude next to him, just chilling in the middle of everyone. i was kinda awkward as everyone there is clothed, 18-28ish, getting hammered, jumping off of cliffs, and two random naked old men chilling with their wangs out a flopping. personally i think they were creepy exhibitionists and not really nudists.

but anyways, we decide to leave this spot after a bit, because one of my friends knows how to get to this waterfall that you can swim and under and behind, and explore on top of. so after we walk 10 minutes on a "trail", i swore we had to trek through the jungles of vietnam along the way (we all agreed that some jimi hendrix tunes would have been perfect), we get to the next spot. at first site of the falls, i was back on my natural high of awe and wonder of the beauty of nature.

so im looking around and theres this one dude chilling out in the middle of the water painting rocks that are sticking out of the water (probably tripping face) and there was a guy and a girl standing on the waters edge. the dude was wearing khakis and a dress shirt and the girl was wearing a long polka dotted dress, the kinda thing my mom would wear. for some reason when i looked at them i was thinking that these people look like they are going to church.

well, we get our shoes off and what not and swim over to the waterfall and are chilling under/behind it having a great time. there was a little path to one side of the waterfall that you could follow to get up on top of it. when we get to the top of it i look down behind us and i see that couple swimming out into the water. im thinking "oh wow, i didnt think churchfolk would....OMGZ THEY ARE BOTH ****ING NAKED?!?!"

yep. more nudists. so we left and followed the stream feeding the waterfall upstream for a bit. there were more or less straight up rock walls on both sides and occasional small waterfalls and rapids and whatnot. it was seriously one the single greatest experiences of my life. i have never been to anyplace remotely like it, any would probably be hard pressed to find someplace that could compare to it.

so anyways we follow it back for a bit, climb up more ****, mess around etc etc. so we come back to the first waterfall and i get to the edge and look down, and the couple from before and climbing up on some rocks and jumping off of them into the water. and the woman....well, there wasnt much to complain about...i might of stole a glance or two.

we get bored up ontop of the waterfall and decide to go back down the path and get into the main body of water again. well, upon getting down, i look around and realize that apparently this was the spot to go for nudists. there were probably 5-10 old men (i was looking anywhere they werent so i wasnt really counting) all bare ass naked just chilling like nothings up. oh, and that acid head from before that was painting rocks, yep, naked now too.

so we are just trying to chill and still have a good time, even though we all feel like straight up creepers or something as we are all clothed in the middle of a nudist convention. and to make matters worse, there is some 60 year old fat guy (and i mean fat) that would proceeded to walk back and forth on the waters edge walking back and forth infront of us. WTF????? so pretty soon we decide, alright, we should head back, this is getting weird.

so we walk all the way back out to the cars, drive back home, stop at subway (i got the italian BMT btw) go back to my house, get drunk, everyone leaves, and here i am typing this ****.

so yeah, i had my first run in with nudists today. what i learned from the situation: im not a nudist.

tl;dr- i went to a park to go swimming and jump off of cliffs, it was a sausage fest of nudists, there was one hot chick, i saw boobies, i got creeped out by a naked fat man that kept walking in front of us us, we left, we got subway, we got drunk.
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Last edited by NoLaurelTree000 at Feb 1, 2009,
#32
i'd think you dont have to be naked on a nude beach
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#34
If you see something that you like then immediately look at something that you dont like. Because nude beaches arent just for fit good looking people. There will be the 80 year old women that have been going there since the age of 18 and such.
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#35
1. No.

2. Go into the ocean.
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#36
1. No.

2. Get in the water.


On topic of the nude beaches, my dad once told me he fell asleep at a nude beach and got sunburned.

I really wish he didn't tell me that.
#37
There's a nude beach in my town.

Warning: Never go to a nude beach.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

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#38
But, I traveled to Italy a while back and I found a nude beach. Honestly, the chicks were pretty damn good.

But there were some that you wish you never saw. Naked old people.
God forbid I see Kensai naked.

*thinks about italian babes*
*Kensai pops back into head*
*enters mental hospital*
UG'S THRASHOHOLIC DRUMMER
WRECK YOUR NECK WITH A PASSION FOR THRASHIN
#39
Quote by metal overlord
But, I traveled to Italy a while back and I found a nude beach. Honestly, the chicks were pretty damn good.

But there were some that you wish you never saw. Naked old people.
God forbid I see Kensai naked.

*thinks about italian babes*
*Kensai pops back into head*
*enters mental hospital*
From my experience, it's only old people.

Oh it seems fun to go to a nude beach when you're 16 and you just got your first car. But when you get there and look around, you'll soon be running back to your car.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#40
I was in southern Germany in the mid to late '80s. Some of the lakes close by had sections that were nude. Everybody from Jr. to Grandma would show up and get butt naked. It was the strangest thing I'd seen to date. Sex? Possibly, behind some distant bush. Then, there was the Aquadrome, a large indoor schwimhalle in Bad Urach. Suhweeeettt. Twice a week would be nude night from 18:00 till midnight. You couldn't stay unless you took all your clothes off. Sex? Nah. Boners? You'd be told to leave and looked at with scorn. I had to stay in the pool the first few nights We'd fly to Crete, Greece once a year to shoot our missile into the Med. 3 days of work and 11 days of beach fun. Most of the women you saw there were at least topless. Sexual deviants and giggling teens were non existent. Europe struck me as being really different in that regard. See, thing is, in America if Mom (Mum) is watching a violent movie with blood and gore she will sit idly beside jr with barely a stir. BUT, let one exposed breast appear and jr. is quickly whisked off to another room. What kind of message are you sending lady?
Last edited by n2dabloo at Feb 1, 2009,