#1
Lyrics:
ok forgot to map this out for people! here we go

Verse:
I've been sitting in a lonely room in an empty house, waiting on the sun to rise
through my wide wide window to the rest of the universe is where the moon has died
and the stars have given way to another oncoming day spent staring down at the dusty floorboards beneath my barren feet. My mind is marked with the scars of doubt and filled with the echoes of thoughts lost long ago and i may never realize that my mind has come undone woah

Chorus:
I've been waiting on the rain to come it won't won't pour on me
won't cover me
I've been waiting on the grass to grow it won't
won't live for me
won't show for me
I've been waiting on you to come back to me, you won't shelter me
you won't love me no more
And I may never realize......

Verse 2:
I've been stuck between two sheets of the universe
watching the hypocritical light
so its said to bring you peace
but for me it only brings strife
cause it carries along another painful day
left in the shadows of us parting our ways
cause ive been WOAH

Choruse (again)
I've been waiting on the rain to come it won't
won't pour on my
won't cover me
You're not coming back
my waiting never ends
cause you're done with me
its over!
Repeat:
I've been waiting on the rain to come it won't
won't pour on me
won't cover me
I've been waiting on the grass to grow it won't
won't live for me
won't show for me
I've been waiting on you to come back to me
You won't shelter me
you won't love me no more
And i may never realize that I've been waiting all my life
And I may never realize that the waiting never dies

End!


There u have it! it also has a chord progression of G, Em, Cadd9, A7 nice and simple with a capo on the 2nd fret!

hope u enjoyed it
Last edited by DcP!aTdRoCk at Feb 1, 2009,
#2
I've been sitting in a lonely room in an empty house, waiting on the sun to rise
through my wide wide window to the rest of the universe is where the moon has died
and the stars have given way to another oncoming day spent staring down at the dusty floorboards beneath my barren feet. My mind is marked with the scars of doubt and filled with the echoes of thoughts lost long ago and i may never realize that my mind has come undone woah

(Very nice, i like the night into day idea, and you've done it well, But the structure could be improved a bit, there's just no idea on the flow, how the verse works, but the content is great)

I've been waiting on the rain to come it won't won't pour on me
won't cover me
I've been waiting on the grass to grow it won't
won't live for me (this is nice)
won't show for me
I've been waiting on you to come back to me, you won't shelter me
you won't love me no more
And I may never realize......
I've been stuck between two sheets of the universe
watching the hypocritical light (this doesn't work, how is the light hypocritical? i think you need a different image for it)
so its said to bring you peace
but for me it only brings strife
cause it carries along another painful day
left in the shadows of us parting our ways
cause ive been WOAH
I've been waiting on the rain to come it won't
won't pour on my
won't cover me
You're not coming back
my waiting never ends
cause you're done with me
its over!
I've been waiting on the rain to come it won't
won't pour on me
won't cover me
I've been waiting on the grass to grow it won't
won't live for me
won't show for me
I've been waiting on you to come back to me
You won't shelter me
you won't love me no more
And i may never realize that I've been waiting all my life
And I may never realize that the waiting never dies

(good ending)

ummm, i liked this, some good images, not tooo cliche and well executed, but you might like to try putting in verses, or just structuring it a bit more obviously. I liked it though. Kudos
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Quote by uk.mace
That's brilliant!


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#3
I really felt something with this, I've been waiting on somebody too. I think a lot of people have and how you made a song that WASN'T exceptionally cliche'ed is pretty cool. Like the others I think you should spend a bit more time properly structuring this peice, so more people would be tempted to read it, because most people don't want to have to fight to read a peice and comment on it. I really liked it though, and I think this has potential