not a complaint, but the quaint and curious
couple in the corner loudly swallow when they eat,
above the hum of one another's heartbeat.


on the church wall children have scuppered snow
and cupped the cold in their hands to make a ball,
to throw and crack at heads or shop windows.


an odd thing, the plastic hose, with it's lack of
resistance to fire; a melting spire or coil swelling
and bubbling as the walls fall to wire.


it's fair to say the problem is that I'm the astronaut
living in an underwater city; floating out and away
from where everybody else is living,

seeing between the things that everyone else is singing.
I don't know what to make of this. I rarely like this sort of poetry, and I didn't really like it, but I didn't dislike it either - I must say I found it interesting, but I can't really give much of a crit.

Also is:

"it's fair to say the problem is that I'm the astronaut
living in an underwater city; floating out and away
from where everybody else is living"

a reference to a Chroma Key song, by any chance?
I bloody love this. I really feel like I am "getting" your writing better as time goes by, and of course, as I read more.
I'm still in wonder at the last few lines and how it coincides with the title. Also how the main stanzas affect the reader and what you trying to say “between the lines”.
What I find dominating about your work is the way in which you have be weary and very about yourself. You can't just follow through it and let it pass you by. It's like a mathematical equation; if you lose your train of thought, it's difficult to regain yourself.
This, on the other hand, is more of an exception. By that, I mean, that the ending brings it back for you without forcing you to read the whole thing again.
As much as I love to re-read something, there is a tendency to be irritated and frustrated when the reasons for your returning was not on your own account, but on your own misfortune and failure to grasp what is going on the first few purses.
There is pretty much nothing I find wrong with this. Maybe I could find something if I spent the next two hours reading it over and over, but I don't plan on doing that. No offence.
This was excellent work and you are definitely worthy of winning WotW, if you ask me. You really have had a crackin' month.

Digitally Clean
First of all. I must say I always enjoyed the way you rhyme things.

I) It's absolutely perfect. The way you pass the message is flawless. Bravo!

II) There's something wrong with punctuation in this, I guess. Maybe a comma after "church wall", but I'm not sure.

III) The rhyming is excelent. "with it's lack of resistance to fire" reads kind of awkward, also I think it's "its" not "it's".

IV) Really really good.

I'm not sure I "get" what you're trying to say, but I really don't care. Also, part II seams pff to me. I) talk about something that is not a complaint; III) is a odd thing; and IV) is something fair to say. Nonetheless, I think I'm lacking the adequate depth to get what you say. It's a remarkable piece.