#1
Im by no means a lyricist, a girl just wanted me to write her a song for Valetines day, so this is what I came up with. It starts out a bit slower, Glycerine esque, on the first two stanzas, and gets alot more peppy and upbeat for the last two. Do you guys have any suggestions for it? I'm pretty sure she'll like it, just because of the simple fact that it's for her, but i'd like some suggestions on how to improve it.


Cant we just be?
More than you see.
My time with you.
Is better than my dreams.

Thinking of you.
Being with me.
Thoughts fill my head.
Only I can see.
That your the only one for me.

I cant help this feeling i think its called love.
Because youre the only girl ive been dreaming of.
I dunno how to say this, can you see the signs?
My heart is yours, and yah got me in a bind.

So wont you wont you?
Just be m-ine...
My sweet, Val-entine...
"The object of war is not to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his" -General George S. Patton
#3
Thank yah, if you post a song i can try to crit it, but I really have no clue what I'm doing here, so take any of my advice with a grain of salt. I know it's cliche, but I'm not really sure how I could right a Valentines song that isnt...
"The object of war is not to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his" -General George S. Patton
Last edited by justnmcknz at Feb 3, 2009,