#1
Cross another option from the board
Still no answer makes its own way to my head
Id take it back but that wont stop the consequences
It started here but it makes its away around
Days turn to nights, nights into weeks
Still that phone wont ring
Perhaps it never will, I wouldnt care if it did
No, I dont recall the last thing said to me
Its for the best
Surely if I knew Id want to unlearn it all
Now weeks turn to hours
Yet nothings changed
Its still the same change again and again
Make it feel alright
Take it away
Leave me with myself
Maybe the answer will come
When another option is crossed

My lyrics are really just poetry and free verse style, if there even is a style. But this is the first thing Ive written since my inspiration hasnt struck in like 5 months. Thoughts?
#2
Quote by FunkyFire
Cross another option from the board I honestly really really love this line, great opener
Still no answer makes its own way to my head
Id take it back but that wont stop the consequences Consequences doesn't really fit the flow here, maybe a *i'd take it back but it won't change the past * or something like that might work better, but then again thats just me.
It started here but it makes its away around this line seemed sort of weak
Days turn to nights, nights into weeks
Still that phone wont ring Theses two were really good, I think that the waiting for the phone to ring was a bit cliche but it worked
Perhaps it never will, I wouldnt care if it did How could you not care if the phone was ringing if you were waiting for it to ring??? maybe something about how you don't care as MUCH as you would if you were called earlier
No, I dont recall the last thing said to me This was an awesome line, I can totally relate to that feeling
Its for the best
Surely if I knew Id want to unlearn it all
Now weeks turn to hours Just a question, how could a week turn into hours?
Yet nothings changed
Its still the same change again and again This line contradicts the line about it, if nothings changing how could it be the same change again?
Make it feel alright
Take it away
Leave me with myself
Maybe the answer will come
When another option is crossed Great closing statement, I loved how you went back to the option being crossed part because I really liked that part at the beginning

My lyrics are really just poetry and free verse style, if there even is a style. But this is the first thing Ive written since my inspiration hasnt struck in like 5 months. Thoughts?



I really liked it, it was a pretty decent poem and I hope that you start getting a bit luckier with some new ideas!
#3
Well, I do intentionally put those contradictions in there. Ok, I wouldnt say intentionally but Im definately aware that theyre there when I write. I like to do that with a lot of writing to throw people off, and in this one I think it alludes to confusion that Ive feeling lately about a lot of things in me life.
Last edited by FunkyFire at Feb 4, 2009,