#1
OK, here's the deal - can YOU help, UG forum?

So I started a band with a friend of mine, and it's taken a while to get off the ground, but as it stands now, we have 3 reliable members - bassist (me), singer and drummer. That's right, no guitarist. Now, at the moment, our singer is playing all our guitar parts, and he's not bad, and he writes good stuff. But he's not a lead player, and all of us love some squealin' solos, and he doesn't want to play rhythm, wants to focus on singing, which I think is fair enough.
I feel I should point out that drummer and I are possibly going to uni in september - which I don't wanna do right now, I'd rather take a year to see where the band goes, coz I think we write some good stuff. But we'de be more likely to stay if this gets sorted, obviously.
Rhythm guitar - we have a friend who is talented enough to play whatever chords we throw at him, and also plays the keyboard in case we need some of that, which is great. He's just a little... non-commital.

As for lead, well... a while ago I found this incredible player, very soulful AND skillful, and I thought FINALLY, this is what we need. We had one practise wth him, and it was great. But he's got some pretty bad depression, the proper sort, not the MCR-listening eye-shadow-wearing sort. He looked like ****, started skipping lessons out of apathy... all of it. And I feel sorry for him as a mate, but because of this he just... hasn't shown up for practise; not even told me either. He'd be well up for it on Wednesday, wouldn't hear from him on Thursday, won't pick up his phone on Friday, and there goes Saturday band practise with a lead axe. This has happened a couple of times.
So what do I do? I know a couple of other guitarists, but I don't wanna upset the writing chemistry in the band as it stands, coz this guy seems to want to write similar tuff to us. Plus, this guy is GOOD. I mean, really good. Do I just say no, coz he's unreliable? Do I give him an ultimatum, show him the stuff we've recorded without him, see what he's missing? When do I decide to start auditioning the other guitarists?
Advise would be helpful, cheers.
#2
Get him help, help him get through these tough times.
Gear
Tokai Love Rock
Vox AC4
Danelectro Transparent Overdrive
T.C. Electronic Nova Repeater
Stomp Under Foot Violet Rams Head
#3
I actually have clinical depression. (Yes I am 14, but this is a real physiologic disorder.) I personally understand what he feels. (Kind of actually, its all different.)

Stick with him. Tell him that your worried about him and don't want to lose him. He is a great friend and musician. One in a million. However, don't expect the same. It will be more difficult.

Do you guys have a myspace or something where I can listen to the music?

A couple of influential depressed musicians to me are.
-Trent Renzor (During "The Downward Spiral)
-Chris Cornell (During his teenage and early Soundgarden years)
-Billy Corgan (During "Siamese Dream")
-Thom Yorke
#4
I actually have clinical depression.


Just like every other 14-year-old.

Give the guy a break, go talk to him and sort it out.
#5
I have clinical depression and anxiety (chemical imbalance which causes both, along with stuff that's happened in my childhood) but it has never got in the way of my music. The reason for this is that I put everything I have in my music because I believe it will take me somewhere and makes me happy. Try telling him you all are serious and that your music is also his music and to express his feelings through it.
#6
.. I don't know what you should do.. It depends.. If it's a "whiny" kind of depression.. Dumb him.. But if it's that bitter, hatefull depression.. Let it roll. That's how genius music is born.. Hehe.

Nonetheless, just try to keep in touch with him, come up with compromises, inform him more. Just make him feel like a part of the band, and do not forget to comment on his skills.. We like that xD .. Even this big guy gets high on compliments, so he can't have enough.

Nonetheless, i wish you good luck.


Oh and btw. You CAN have a clinical depression. Though most 14 year olds are depressed anyway, because of.. everything.. in a whiny way. But there's some people out there who are not just whiny.. Just really.. Messed up mentally, which also causes depression.. and the other way around. I know a few. Great people, but obsessed with self-mutilation, death, and i dunno what.. Haha. That sounds like Dead.. RIP PELLE OHLIN.. sorry.


GOOD LUCK YA! 666 - Keep the horns up!
FUCK YOU ALL!

666 BLACK METAL HOLOCAUST!!!!!
#7
Quote by Northernmight


Oh and btw. You CAN have a clinical depression. Though most 14 year olds are depressed anyway, because of.. everything.. in a whiny way. But there's some people out there who are not just whiny.. Just really.. Messed up mentally, which also causes depression.. and the other way around. I know a few. Great people, but obsessed with self-mutilation, death, and i dunno what.. Haha. That sounds like Dead.. RIP PELLE OHLIN.. sorry.



Thank you. Everybody just seems to give me crap whenever I mention it. (Which is why I rarely mention it). I have a thing where I don't get enough endorphins, so I am actually required to skip school and do fun things occasionally.
#9
I suffered depression at that same age. I'd say, give him the best positive feedback that wouldn't seem patronizing. Nothing props up a depressed person like a good form of validation.
#10
I'm guessing that when he plays he feels alot better about himself and everything else, i'd say this to him...

"hey, look, we'd love it, the band, if you could keep coming to practice and hang out with us more, your playing is amazing, it has real feeling to it and i think it'd be good for you vent out with your playing a little more, it might help you out and the band would love it..." etc etc, just tell him how you think it'll help him relieve some of the pressuse and also tell him how much it means to all of the band and how much every one wants him to be there, just say it's kinda of hard when you dont turn up, becuase everyone looks forward to it etc.
Black Knight CF-60F Semi-Acoustic.

Black Knight CP200 (Red flamed maple).

Neck-thru 4 string bass.

Acoustic 6 string.