#1
I have two stories of people trying to pick fights with me. Both of the kids were under my shoulder height.

The first was several months ago, at some fair type thing. Some random kid came up to me and this is how the conversation went:

Him: Hello
Me: Hi
Him: How are you?
Me: Good, how are you?
Him: Don’t mouth words at me!
Me:…what?
Him: STOP IT!

He then proceeded to say something trying to get me to fight him. I laughed at him and said “Seriously?” He just walked away, embarrassed that I wasn’t taking him seriously.

Story Two

This happened yesterday. I walked past some kid from my school, after I was several steps away, he ran up and tapped me on the shoulder. I took out an earphone, I’d been listening to my MP3 at the time *Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen to be precise.*

Him: Hello f*ckwit.
Me: …what?
Him: Wanna punch me?
Me: No, go away.

I put my earphone back in and he went away. Today I found out he does this to a lot of people, and if someone does fight him, his brother is close by and comes and beats up the person fighting him.

Anyone else have any similar stories to this that they’d like to share?
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#2
your homework is to start a fight with a complete stranger...and lose.
Last edited by skaterskagg1 at Feb 5, 2009,
#3
Hello f*ckwit.
wen i ask they say that they fall into the habit smhw ........but nyways i think there is a connection smwhere. Now i being a teetollar will not give into this habit nyhw

FOR JUST £2 A WEEK, YOU CAN PREVENT THIS.
#5
Quote by el-ECTRO
Hello f*ckwit.

....what?

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#6
Yeah I used to go to school with a guy who thought he could smash me and was always trying to fight me. He was probably the only guy in my class I could actually beat in a fight but I never fought him cause I never took him seriously.
#7
I'd beat him up and his brother just to prove a point haha.
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#8
Quote by SteveHouse
....what?

It's a rather common insult here in Australia.
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#9
Quote by breadstick
It's a rather common insult here in Australia.

No. Correct answer was "You wanna punch me?"

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#10
Quote by breadstick
It's a rather common insult here in Australia.

he was adding on to what you said... read the OP.
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#11
Quote by drunkinkoala
What kind of insult is fuckwit?



i know, its something i hadnt heard until i came to australia. nobody says that in the U.S. australians are terrible at insults in general
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#12
Quote by ihavenoname93
i know, its something i hadnt heard until i came to australia. nobody says that in the U.S. australians are terrible at insults in general

I've heard it Stateside too.... It makes me sad.

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#13
some nob jockey said that my mum was a "lady of the night" and that he'd used her. I just turned around and said "Oh yeah, she said you had the smallest penis she'd ever seen" He just decked me.

Curse my quick thinking of responses hah.
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#14
Quote by ihavenoname93
i know, its something i hadnt heard until i came to australia. nobody says that in the U.S. australians are terrible at insults in general

OMG, I would know! I couldn't insult to offend someone even if I tried...
#15
I can insult pretty good, but i'd get banned
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#16
Quote by ihavenoname93
Quote by drunkinkoala
What kind of insult is fuckwit?

i know, its something i hadnt heard until i came to australia. nobody says that in the U.S. australians are terrible at insults in general

You know people....

There's actually a difference in insulting a person and just randomly screaming tons of words like "fuck, dickhead, bitch, MFer" and so on into the person's face you're trying to insult. For the latter, Americans pretty much own every other nation(maybe except Russians ) and for the former, one needs a bit of intelligence and wit.

Like this:
Quote by vulgarmachine
some nob jockey said that my mum was a "lady of the night" and that he'd used her. I just turned around and said "Oh yeah, she said you had the smallest penis she'd ever seen" He just decked me.

Curse my quick thinking of responses hah.


I applaud to you, good Sir, on your brilliant response
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#17
Wow, two of the biggest non-stories I've ever had the misfortune to read.

Good job making a hugely dull and anticlimactic post.
#18
You should carry a rape alarm.
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#19
people don't do that to me, maybe because i'm really tall and chunky (not fat chunky), or that I have manners and don't take the person seriously.

But I secretly want some ratty, drink kid to ask me to fight and I want to knock him down so that his nose is bleeding in the gutter, with bruises to both eyes, into the drain with a smashed bottle in his hand.
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#20
On the topic at hand, I've had so many fight "Invitations" over my time, most of them due to the stupidity of the other person, I don't class myself as smart, but these are just horribly thick, I'll spin you some yarns of 'em:

The most recent one, in with the recent blizzard of snow in the UK (snowday at school today, whic shows it's bad, my school closes for nothing, not even when the building across the road burned down which harboured some very damaging fumes) there was a mass snowball fight at school the other day, as well as many others, me and my friends soldiered through the big one to get back into school (as we were a fair bit away and it was near enough the end of lunch, we were also all very numb) but I see this one guy in the mass snowball fight that I'm cool with, the fight was pretty much Asians (pakistani, bangladeshi that type of asian) and young people, against the older white people. So this asian guy i know, I nail him with a snowball, just a friendly thing like, so as he stoops to pick one up, I run, back turned, out of nowhere about 7 snowballs in the back of the head in quick succesion. Then as I turn some ****er from the side of me gets me in my eye real horrorshow, which angers me. So I shout the average "who the fleck was that" sorta stuff, and one of the younger asians imitates me, putting on a voice which sounds nothing like anyone but everyone seems to do it. I then say the usual slovos which make a person realise they're being rather dull and he says "you startin?" which I laugh at and sarcastically say "Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing" and his friends start shouting stuff at me and my friends and we get bombarded with snowballs.. .which are dodged. Were pretty lame really.

Now I have the "current affairs are snow" story out of the way:
ANother time, some guy decides to call me all the "Lol you have long hair" names he can, but this guy, literally DOES have something wrong with him mentally so I go easy on him, cos to be honest, as much as I don't like to treat people with difficulties different, I wouldn't like to start any **** with someone like that, how would I look?
Anywho, eventually he gets too stupid to bear, also, he was asian (my school is in a very asian populated area) so he had an accent, he also had problems speaking, so no word made sense, but I think he was trying to say "you're poor, your dad lives in a box, my family live in the whitehouse,I have a good phone" so I just go with the usual "I don't care about your phone and you live at [where helives]" but he ain't havin' it, so he asks for a fight and I'm like "I'd rather not" so he walks up to me (we're in lesson still BTW ) and flinches at me, to make me jump, I do not move. So in jest I do similar to him and he walks back to his chair.
I make a comment which somehow gets on his nerves a lot he walks up to me, shouts over my face and spits all over me doing so, so anger strikes, I jump out of my seat and he runs a mile, I sit back down, I lol.
That sorta **** went on for ages cos he couldn't get the idea that I'm too smart to have a fight in school. If anyone thinks (well at my school it's like a high security prison) they can get away with a fight in school they're pretty silly.

I have tons but I've already wall of text'd a lot.
#21
A while ago I started talking to this girl and she had a boyfriend. She broke up with said boyfriend and she and I started seeing each other.

The ex wanted to fight me, but he never talked to me, he always told the girl to tell me that he wanted to fight. He was able to get my phone number and was able to send me messages on Myspace, but he wouldn't even try talking to me indirectly (he was such a pussy that he couldn't say anything to my face, nor could he let me hear or read what he had to say).

One of the things the girl relayed to me was him telling her "You know the guy's gay, why don't you tell him to meet me so I can put my dick down his throat, you know he wants it".

I have a feeling that his closet-homosexuality is part of why she dumped him....not to mention she dumped him for me
Last edited by dudius at Feb 5, 2009,
#22
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I have tons but I've already wall of text'd a lot.

Why yes you have...

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#23
There's no such thing as 'trying to pick a fight'. There's fighting or not fighting. Neither of which is worth a topic of it's own unless it involves either a bear, BBQ Beef Hula Hoops or a wooden spoon.



One day the otters will destroy you all... humans.
#24
Oddly enough I was in a club last night, went to the loo, and some guy (who was washing his hands) was talking to someone else about how much they loved them
So I turned around and , in jest, said 'Whoa lads, this is the blokes toilets, take it outside'
This guy turned round and started mouthing off, I'm still stood at the urinal taking a leak so I turn my head and the words go back and forth, I don't provoke him, I just tell him to let it go.
Then he does something brilliant, and accuses me of looking at his manhood, well I couldn't resist mocking him then, since I came in as he stood at the sink, so I'd have some damn good eyesight to see anything other than hands. I point out that Sherlock Holmes would struggle to find his manhood with a magnifying glass. I'm still taking a leak, and he comes up to me and swings, misses completely, I flick my right arm out at him (so as not to piss on my own new shoes...) and he panics and ran off.

The guy he was speaking too was stood watching and trying to diffuse the situation, and he came up to me once this guy had ran off and said 'It's alright, the guy's a dick, we'll give him a kicking later, kid owes me money anyway'

So that's my story about taking a leak
Oh, and almost getting into a fight
#26
I remember when I was about 15 and some kid with a BROKEN LEG tried to start a fight with me,cast and all. I really didnt know what to do.How could I fight a guy with a broken leg?! After alot of shouting at eachother I ended up pushing him over.I felt kinda bad, but at the same time the guys a total moron for starting it in the first place. Turns out his mum was a dinner lady at the school and she wanted to kill me but i never saw either of them again.

Remember walking past chavs in school and they would go "WHATDJU SAY ABOUT MY MUM?"

What was that about?
#27
I've been in many a fight. Although I haven't had any recently, as I took up martial arts about a year ago, so it must've spread that I take lessons or something, as normally I get in at least 1 fight a year. But hey, that doesn't really bother me, I don't need my knee to give out on me during a fight.
Last edited by Alex Vik at Feb 5, 2009,
#28
I have two fight stories. Only one ends in true justice. First one is some 4'7 little afro-american tike who thinks he is the hottest stuff around...he talks down to white guys like their his pets...one day at lunch i leave my planner at the lunch table and when i get back i realize this guy had jacked it so i go over to him and i'm like "hey man give me back my planner you f'ing (racist word)" (for the record i'm not a racist...just kinda wanted to let him know i wasn't afraid to get dirty...no homo.) So this guy stands up and he reaches..eh..about my shoulder and he said something along the lines of my hair looking like a "raped sloth" because he's not used to the rocker long hair look. So i look down and i tell the guy "You give that **** back or i'll take your rep down a few knotches right here in front of your people." He hands it over and i go throw it away so i have no future problems because of it. So i'm sleeping in eight period and i wake up and i hear this very same guy talking mad stuff about my converses. So i just ignore it until a pen flies my way and hits me on the head. I pick it up and the very same crusty ***ed hoodlum comes over and hge's like "gimme back my pen." I'm out of it now and don't feel like making a scene....so i make one anyways. I stand up start swearing and ranting about how i'm not going to give him back his f'ing pen and i throw it and watcgh in slow motion as it hits my teacher square in the face. Well I had a good laugh about the whole situation as security officers hauled me out and i was expelled.

Second story goes back to 9th grade. Some kid in a cast in my 3rd period starts talking mad stuff about my "Che" shirt...you know i'm going through a fad here and i really wanted to shoot this kid in the face so i start tlking about how im gonna break his other bloody leg and he says "i'll see you in the hall after lunch". So at lunch i leave early to go smoke a cig in the hall. I know i'm not supposed to but if i leave the doors will lock behind me. So this kid starts hobbling down the hall towards me. So i flick my cig and watch in pity as a platoon of swear words leave his mouth as he SLOWLY comes down the hall...he's within about 10 feet of me (and right in front of a doorway) when a distracted teacher pushing a TV cart comes out and totally runs this kid over. And I mean this was a huge TV cart and this kid got freakin BAM! just runned the hell over. I started pointing and laughing as the teacher panics after seeing this cripple she ran over sprawled out all over the floor like a dog on ice. Good memories.
#29
Everyone at my old school who would talk **** to me but would stop it after I closed the space in between us infront of their friends and asked them what was up. lol they knew what was coming.
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Last edited by dxpaintball8000 at Feb 5, 2009,
#30
There was this guy, last year. We weren't very friendly and one time I'm walkin' past him and his group of friends and walks up to push me, so I push him back. He tries to rip my shirt from the collar, but I grab both sides and pull it together - he's achieving nothing. His friends egg him on and he ribs from the bottom of my shirt. It's ripped say 3 buttons up. I punched that sad pressured piece of crap a few times until the teachers broke it up. Those poor buttons.
#32
Quote by tushmeister
I point out that Sherlock Holmes would struggle to find his manhood with a magnifying glass.

#33
If someone walks up to me and tries to fight me I usually pull my gun on them, makes them back off pretty quickly.
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#34
im just glad that nobody got hurt...
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