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#1
I decided to write this, hoping that by telling my story, I might be able to prevent some of you from following the same destructive path that I was on on for far too long. I know this is kinda long, but bear with me.
I first smoked pot when I was 13. I'm 43 now. I have been close intimate friends with the Reverend Bud Green, off and on for over 30 years. I'm pretty sure that I've smoked enough weed to qualify as a Rastifarian. At the height of my using, I was smoking an ounce and a half or more per week. I basically stayed high all day long. Once, my dealer told me that he thought I should think about slowing down. Of course, he told me this while selling me a bag. When I think about all the thousands of dollars I've spent on drugs, it makes me sick.
I was always able to function just fine. I never missed work. And my performance at work never suffered. For most of my adult life, I've been a professional musician. I taught guitar lessons, (and still do). And I also gigged reguarly. With the addition of my wife's job, we made decent money. So spending a couple hundred bucks a week on drugs was easy. More on this later.
I remember the first time that I got high. I was at a friends house. We smoked a joint, then just sat and listened to music. I couldn't believe how much better the music sounded. It seemed as if everything was clearer. As if I was right there with Hendrix, Zeppelin, and Pink Floyd. When I started playing guitar, weed seemed to enhance that as well. The more that I got into music/guitar, the deeper that I got into drugs. With the exception of heroine and crack, I've tried just about everything. I guess that I'm fortunate that weed is the only one that I really liked. Because if I had been into some of the harder drugs, like coke, I'm sure that I'd be dead.
Throughout middle and high school, I only smoked maybe once or twice a month. But when I graduated, (way back in 1984), and got a job, I began smoking almost daily. This continued until the Fall of 1991, when I went to music school. In case you're wondering why I quit, the answer is this...Jesus.
Now before you start rolling your eyes and calling me names, let me just say that I'm not here to preach to you. If you're at all interested in asking me about my faith, PM me and I'll be glad to share with you. If you're not interested in God, that's cool too. He doesn't force us to believe in Him. And I'm not going to force my beliefs on you. I will say this though, if I hadn't found God, I doubt that i would have made it through school.
Right after graduating from Music Tech, I got married, moved back to Columbus, got a teaching job, and started playing in bands. For the first 3 or 4 years of my marriage, I was completely sober and walking closely with God. Then an old friend offered to get me high. I can remember this thought as if it were yesterday... "remember how much fun it was to play your guitar while you were high? Just think about how much better it will be since you really know what you're doing." So I gave in. After smoking, we jammed for a couple of hours. And it was great. But I needed to do it again, Then again, and so on. I started buying it again. All the while, keeping it hidden from my wife. After a few months of this, I confessed to her. And she was devistated. She's basically been a Christian all her life. Never drank, did drugs, or slept around. So in her world, my lying to her and my drug use was really bad.
I'm not going to bore you by listing all the times that I've started and stopped since then. I'll just get to the really dark period. In 1999, I started playing with a band that was really good. I believe that if it were not for God watching over me, we would have gotten signed. I know, so how would getting a record deal be a bad thing. If we had been signed, who knows what I would have gotten into. This is the point in my life when I was smoking the most. All I cared about was the band and getting high. I was done with my marriage. I was planning to leave her once I got out of debt. I wasn't and have never cheated on my wife. But I was tired of her giving me crap about my habit.
What kept the band from getting signed was the singer. He was a great singer/songwriter. He sounds almost identical to Layne Staley. But he's also a crack addict. At times, it was like having a spoiled little kid, that you had to babysit in the band. After putting up with it for way too long, the rest of us quit. And that was it. My shot at the big time was gone. I sank into a deep depression. And if possible, I smoked even more.
My wife begged me to go to an out-patient rehab program. I was tired of feeling this way, so I did. While going through this program, I learned an even more depressing thing... I'll always be an addict. That no matter how long I stay sober, I'm going to have to fight the temptation to get high as long as I live.
A lot of people will tell you that weed isn't addictive. That's BS. It may not be a physical addiction like heroine. But it's a mental addiction.
There's a great movie called Bird. I't's about Charlie Parker, who for those of you who don't know, was one of the greatest jazz saxaphone players that ever lived. Parker was a herione addict. There's a line in the movie that goes, "they can get it,(heroine), out of your blood, but they can never get it out of your mind."
I find this to be very true for me. In the past, my way of dealing with stress was always to get high. It's very difficult not to return to my old habits whenever a stressful situation comes up. I won't lie and say that I've been successful at not giving in every time. But as time goes on it gets a little easier.
I've been clean for quite a while now. My marriage has been restored. As has my relationship with God. And as you can tell by my user name, we have a little boy named Seth, who is now 17 months old. I love being a Daddy more than anything.
Some of you might be thinking, big deal, it's just pot. That was my attitude for the longest time. No matter what you're addicted to, whether it's drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, shopping, food, anger, etc. Addiction controls you. It makes all the truly important things in life, unimportant. I nearly lost my wife because of it. If I had, my son wouldn't be here. Addiction also impairs your judgement. Because I was high all the time, and because I have great credit, I bought tons of music gear. And I am now a little over $10,000 in debt. Which I'm am now working 2 jobs (65 + hours a week), to pay off.
If you've never done drugs, don't start. Nothing good comes from it. If you're "experimenting", stop. And if you're a full-blown addict, get help.
Thanks for reading.
There's my way and the wrong way.
#3
Quote by xFilth
thanks for sharing

also, tl;dr

tl;dr in this case is probably "drugs are bad, mmmkay"
I didn't read it all, just fist and last 2 lines.
#5
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#7
I haven't read all of the OP yet (will get round to that in a second) but anyone who says pot is completely harmless is ignorant. Should it be legalised? In my opinion definitely. This would allow regulation and taxation but I won't go into that.

A good amount of people can get psychologically dependent on stronger weed (eg. skunk) and it often fucks these people up big time. Just wanted to have my say before I get drowned out by the upper-class pro-pot never-smoked-a-joint crowd.

TS, consdering adding line spacing between your paragraphs to aid readability.

Edit: Okay, I managed to struggle through the whole post. TS, have you ever thought that, mentally dependent on weed as you were, the equally strong powers of religion may have replaced your pot habit?
Last edited by Jake™ at Feb 8, 2009,
#8
I've smoked weed plenty. It's not always good, and it's great for killing motivation.

I smoked daily for about two years, but I haven't smoked it over a year. I'm too antisocial to go seeking weed.

I didn't quit though. I'd get high as hell right now if someone offered it to me. Anyway, point is, you can do it in moderation if you have the self control to do so.
#10
you really expect us to believe that a 43 year old working 65+ hours a week, with a wife and a son has the time to write that gigantic wall of text?

yes, addiction is bad. we know.

experimenting with drugs isn't bad as long as you don't get addicted. and most people who smoke pot don't.
#11
You don't all have to be assholes y'know, someone who's gone down that road is just giving you advice using his experiences.

*Reads*

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#12
I read it all and i genuinely DO want to say thankyou for sharing

That actually does sound like a pretty fucked up place to be and i'm very glad to hear how you've come out of it

*cue the onslaught of 'i get high every day and i'm not an addict'*
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#13
i am currently trying to cut down on my smoking as i have been a daily smoker for almost 2 years and at the height of my smoking i wouldve gone through an ounce in one week.....itsj ust how ou let something take over your life like that. definitely makes you feel sucky
#14
I can't believe I actually read all of that. And, yeah, all I got was 'Drugs are bad, mmkay?'...
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#15
i smell weed but i think that is because i live in the netherlands, 1 of my friends isnt able to stop smoking weed he is 17, were are getting pretty worried about him. (sorry for crappy grammar)
#17
oh interesting thought: religion can also be addictive. Could it be that you just swapped your pot addiction for religion?
#18
Used to do weed quite a bit. Haven't smoked in ages, especially since I turned 18. Because I can buy alcohol freely now, I don't feel I need drugs. Because, oddly, it's easier to get hold of weed when you're 16/17 than it is to get hold of alcohol.

I do laughing gas from time to time, if there's some about. But I'm content with alcohol for the time being.
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#19
Quote by MaXiMuse
1306 serious words in the pit? I probably will have an headache by now :s

Do you know how much you spend on pot 30 years? The total sum of it, more or les...


I'm guessing around $20,000. But who knows, maybe that's why they call it dope.
There's my way and the wrong way.
#20
Quote by Jake™
I haven't read all of the OP yet (will get round to that in a second) but anyone who says pot is completely harmless is ignorant. Should it be legalised? In my opinion definitely. This would allow regulation and taxation but I won't go into that.

A good amount of people can get psychologically dependent on stronger weed (eg. skunk) and it often fucks these people up big time. Just wanted to have my say before I get drowned out by the upper-class pro-pot never-smoked-a-joint crowd.

TS, consdering adding line spacing between your paragraphs to aid readability.

Edit: Okay, I managed to struggle through the whole post. TS, have you ever thought that, mentally dependent on weed as you were, the equally strong powers of religion may have replaced your pot habit?


dude you speak truth in that yeah alot of addicts can get ****ed off weed these days cos theres lot of hydro/skunk **** going around. all i get is this stuff hence my wanting to cut down...throw off my tolerance to the really good **** and then just having it every now and then again like when i used to be in a band and only got high at pracs.
#21
Just read that, I gotta say that's quite a story. I haven't smoked pot in 18 months now but I don't miss it, I'll still smoke again if I had the chance though. I don't see how Jesus helped you though, unless you sort of converted to Christianity? Or was it your wifes faith?

Anyway, hope things work out for you.

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MUFC


My love for you
Is like a truck
Berserker.
#22
I've read it
A lot of it I don't agree with, heck, nigh-on all of it seems completely different to how I am, I was smoking habitually for 3 years, and as soon as I wanted to stop, I stopped, I don't mean to sound rude but only the weak-willed get addicted.

I'd go out on a limb and say it's often the weak-willed who turn to Faith as soon as they can't seem to handle life, but that's best kept in the Religion thread.

Thank you, however, for taking the time
#23
i only read this cause the dudes 43, wicked

thx for sharin man!! that really opened my eyes, i've gotten high before but i dont find it addictive so i guess its only for sum ppl? i smoke ciggies quite regularly too, but i dont find it 2 addictive, its just good 2 have every now and then
#24
^ yeah you will get hooked once you keep smoking to feel high all the time...then you wont feel as high all the time and keep needing to smoke more and more all the time.
#25
Quote by dynamitri
i smell weed but i think that is because i live in the netherlands, 1 of my friends isnt able to stop smoking weed he is 17, were are getting pretty worried about him. (sorry for crappy grammar)


He's entirely able to stop smoking weed. He just doesn't want to.

Quote by seth's daddy

A lot of people will tell you that weed isn't addictive. That's BS. It may not be a physical addiction like heroine. But it's a mental addiction.


I was waiting for this. Physical addiction is an illness. Mental addiction is an excuse. Period. Nobody is addicted to marijuana. You're not addicted to a drug that you can't give up no matter how hard you try, you're addicted to escaping your problems by being high all the time, and that's bullshit. And in no way am I saying I've never done that, either. That's just what it is.
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#26
Quote by steerpike07
^ yeah you will get hooked once you keep smoking to feel high all the time...then you wont feel as high all the time and keep needing to smoke more and more all the time.



Aren't you confusing weed with heroin?
#27
i read it all.
and all i can respond with that is
k koo
you basically posted a blog dude.
no need to make a thread out of it.
#28
Quote by Survivalism
He's entirely able to stop smoking weed. He just doesn't want to.


I was waiting for this. Physical addiction is an illness. Mental addiction is an excuse. Period. Nobody is addicted to marijuana. You're not addicted to a drug that you can't give up no matter how hard you try, you're addicted to escaping your problems by being high all the time, and that's bullshit. And in no way am I saying I've never done that, either. That's just what it is.



Just...

Sorry but he's right, if there's no physical addiction, there's no addiction
Habits are formed by those too weak to face up to life
#31
Quote by convictionless
thats a little harsh.

Not really. It's reality. He's come on here and posted up that story and is trying to get everybody to slap him on the back for doing such a "Great Job" of turning his life around.

But he put himself in that situation in the first place, and even now he's struggling to pay back the money he owes for things, not to mention all the other stuff he's done in his life and missed out on because of his weak mindedness.

He's screwed his life up and is now looking for some way to validate the rest of it. So why not get onto the internet and preach to people about what a great reformer you are.

Here's an even better way to stop yourself getting addicted to Weed or other drugs, dont ****ing do them in the first place, hold down a respectable job and be a decent member of society.
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#32
Quote by seth's daddy
I'm guessing around $20,000. But who knows, maybe that's why they call it dope.



And you've never thought of growing it?!
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#34
Quote by steerpike07
^ yeah you will get hooked once you keep smoking to feel high all the time...then you wont feel as high all the time and keep needing to smoke more and more all the time.

It doesn't affect the Dopamine receptors, so how'd you think of that? Pot is the only illegal drug that SHOULD be legalised. It's only a minute weak minded that cannot function without the use, and I can't think of anyone doing that.
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Pain in the ass. We got 6 inches last friday. We got another 8 inches today. We're supposed to get 10 more inches by christmas.

#36
I actually read it. I'm glad everything is working out great for you! I haven't smoked it in a while. I don't go out looking for it.
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#37
Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
It's probably Copypasta, why would he think that we give a ****?

It's not copypasta. But the guys kinda messed up and weak, I couldn't see anyone getting addicted. But it could turn into a habit form, like doing wake n bakes or something for a long time, but still, you wouldn't get addicted.
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Quote by Joe-Fish
Pain in the ass. We got 6 inches last friday. We got another 8 inches today. We're supposed to get 10 more inches by christmas.

#38
Quote by CypressHill
It doesn't affect the Dopamine receptors, so how'd you think of that? Pot is the only illegal drug that SHOULD be legalised. It's only a minute weak minded that cannot function without the use, and I can't think of anyone doing that.


hooked as in just wanting to be baked all the time... i know you can't get dependant on weed. i know someone who thinks he can't get off pot because he wont function.. its cos he smokes ALL the time...wake n bake...before every meal; he just feels really weird not being high lol.
Last edited by steerpike07 at Feb 8, 2009,
#39
Addiction ****s with people. I will say that, as a fact I know myself. However, I am trying to still figure out where it really ****ed with you. I am not grasping where it really killed anything for you (except in terms of money loss). I mean, throughout this you maintained a wife, a steady job, music, friends? Most people I've seen get into weed (extensively) just become recluses and quit their jobs/life. I suppose the reality of your story is: you got REALLY lucky. I would be worshipping your wife if I were you for staying with you through all that.

If I can give advice, I would say be careful with religion. I am not saying this just as a sacreligious person, but as a person who has walked that path and left it. It has the potential to be very damaging. I was addicted to a few things a few years ago, ranging from sex to drugs, and I was always told "give it to God!" Well, long story short, if God is real he wasn't real to me. I have found myself very depressed and suicidal throughout that long period (and by suicidal, I actually mean a proper attempt). I am not trying to play up my life either, I am just stating the facts. Not to mention addiction was basically fueled by the deaths surrounding me, such as of my little sister and some friends in bad accidents. Anyways, I basically became a Satanist and have not felt the need to "combat" my addiction as Christianity would have me do. Inevitably, it just fell to the way side.
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#40
Quote by steerpike07
hooked as in just wanting to be baked all the time... i know you can't get dependant on weed. i know someone who thinks he can't get off pot because he wont function.. its cos he smokes ALL the time...wake n bake...before every meal; he just feels really weird not being high lol.

Tbh, being sober is a high itself sometimes. When I've been high alot, I feel as if I can't wait to being back sober.
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Angry Squirrel is Angry!!!



Quote by Joe-Fish
Pain in the ass. We got 6 inches last friday. We got another 8 inches today. We're supposed to get 10 more inches by christmas.

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