#1
So tell us about the funniest cockblock you've experienced/heard of/initiated.

Mine:

I was spending the morning after at my girlfriend's house, about an hour before she had to leave for work. Anyway, after a delightful sleep-in until about 10.30, we decide to have a shag before leaving. About 5 minutes in, my mum decides to call and talk about uni preferences to me. I explained to her (in a rather kind tone, I thought) that I had "just woken up" and wouldn't remember anything she would tell me later on. And suddenly, she goes on this ten-minute rant about this, that and the other; I'm desperately trying to get her off the phone, while my girlfriend is just lying down on the bed trying not to laugh out loud. By the time I've managed to hang up, the mood has been completely killed, bled, skinned, gutted, butchered and placed in your local supermarket fridge next to the porterhouse. Honest to god, I felt like sticking my head into a large bucket of water and taking a deep breath.

Although, looking back on it now, I can see the funny side of it.
#3
Not really a cockblock story, but close...

One time in the summer I walked over unannounced to my best friend's house, as I'd done a thousand times before. I got to within 20 yards of his house, and thought it might be best to give him a call, just in case he'd gone out.

*ring ring*

"Hello?"

"Hi Curtis, are you busy right now?"

".....Urm.... Actually, YES"

"Oh... so, it wouldn't be OK if I came over?"

"NO!... I mean, urm, come over later"


That was also the day I started sitting on his desk chair rather than the bed whenever I was over there
Quote by abstract pie
Ahh the pit. Where conversations of Pokemon Cards can turn into ones of wizard homosexuality



You are everything I want...
...'Cause you are...

...Everything I'm not.

Atheism. Is. Not. A. Religion.
Today's saints were yesterday's sellouts
#4
its bad when the dog tries to join in, definitely kills my mood
BE HAPPY

Quote by ajmasterjaydude
so this kid at my school microwaved brussel sprouts for lunch, and when he was about to eat them one of them exploded on his face and burned him. i like turtles


in a thread about malmsteen^
#6
lol that picture is pretty sweet..

but anyway. this did not happen to me it happened to a friend.

my friend went to a party and was having a good time. met up with this chick and the started to get to know each other prettty well... then my other friend who is a heavy super christain. walked up wo my friend and says "don't do anything stupid with her. I will pray for you" so back to the first friend... him and this girl are hangin out setting the mood then a bunch on small events casued them to have to leave such as bathroom, phonecalls, whatever. anyway the girl ended up having to leave early and my friend didnt get laid.

my friend came up to me the next day and shouted... "I just got C*ckblocked by GOD!!!"
Happiness is like peeing your pants

everyone can see it but only you can feel its warmth
#7
We most definitely need this is in a photoshop somewhere - it is one of the few things that makes me laugh every time.
#8
Cockblocks are in no way funny




Quote by dogismycopilot
Absent Mind, words cant express how much i love you. Id bone you, oh yea.

Quote by lumberjack
Absent Mind is, as usual, completely correct.

Quote by littlemurph7976
Id like to make my love for Neil public knowledge as he is a beautiful man
#9
True, except when it happens to somebody else. I think the worst kind is when the anoying individual litterally blocks your member. Seconded?
"We were one among the fence"
Quote by diofan88
You have no idea how many mornings my dad has woken up to me in my underroos rocking out in the morning...on a mission...A MISSION TO ROOOOCCCCKKKKK!!!!!
#12
"Dude, has she told you about the herpes yet?"

*Walks off*


That goes down quite well at work every night.
PLAY UP POMPEY

POMPEY PLAY UP!

#13
Quote by rworsl
"Dude, has she told you about the herpes yet?"

*Walks off*


That goes down quite well at work every night.


God!! Argh, my friend does that EVERY SINGLE TIME - every hot girl in the street, even older women.
It is not funny any more.

Though others....
#14
it was during the summer and me and my girlfriend had the house to ourselves

we start making out on my bed and right before we do it, whaddayaknow, here comes her annoying f*cking best friend knocking at the door. we decide to ignore it and go on, and whaddayaknow, now shes knocking at my F*cking window, with her face pressed on the glass.




EDIT: at the time i wasnt amused. but now it sorta makes a funny story.
Quote by HeretiK538
Totally awesome, I love you.

Have my children.

Last edited by koalabacon at Feb 8, 2009,
#15
Well, me and my girlfriend were about to initiate things on the kitchen table
we couldnt lock the door so we put a chair in front
we had just come back from a night out and several of our friends were in the basement
i had my trousers on the floor, and my pants were just about to go the same way when the chair falls over and one girl walks in saying 'i want a drink - OH HOLDY ****'

chair wakes up parents, this is 3 in the morning
etc...
Quote by Shred Head
You have an atrocious sense of humour!

Quote by StrayCatBlues
You win 100 hilarity points.

Spend them wisely.


Quote by GrisKy
you're a funny, funny man, chimp in a tux... funny indeed.
#16
Quote by Absent Mind
Cockblocks are in no way funny

This. You are not a man if you intentionally cockblock somebody.
#17
Quote by bendystraw
This. You are not a man if you intentionally cockblock somebody.

Agreed. Unless you cockblock the guy who's trying to pick up the chick you're making a move on. And he was still pissed off when I explained that to him.

Him: "Why are you freaking cockblocking me?!"
Me: "No, you're cockblocking me!"
Him: "No, I'm not!"
Me: "You're drunk and high. Yes, you are. Now kindly piss off."

Now that was funny, especially since he couldn't remember it the following morning.
#19
One time I cockblocked myself...my GF and I were at my house, in my bed, and instead of giving in to her sexual advances on me, I continued playing KOTOR 2.....COMPLETELY oblivious. When I quit being ****tarded (about a half hour later), she was no longer in the mood Haha.
#20
Quote by koalabacon
it was during the summer and me and my girlfriend had the house to ourselves

we start making out on my bed and right before we do it, whaddayaknow, here comes her annoying f*cking best friend knocking at the door. we decide to ignore it and go on, and whaddayaknow, now shes knocking at my F*cking window, with her face pressed on the glass.




EDIT: at the time i wasnt amused. but now it sorta makes a funny story.


I cant explain how much that story won.
GEAR
Legend LP
Nylon Acoustic
Legend 10D Amp
Korg AX3G

flickr
#21
worst **** block ever i went to high school in a small Canadian rural town and the best way to go have some fun was drive out to the back roads with a blanket and hit the fields. So one night me and my girl were getting ready and half undressed and her mother called her saying she needed to pick up her brother and drive him 3 ****ing blocks in the smallest town in the middle of nowhere. Then while dropping him off she took him to get something at the store and her friend worked their so they talked after my girl ditched her friend gave her brother a ride around town for what seemed like an hour she finally rejoined me and then the real **** block happens. so out in the field we are in a field parked and start undressing and we're undressed we see lights. Now i used to drive an old truck that looked like it belonged in a field so usually we just ducked outa sight and let traffic pass. This time it was a big 4 wheel drive john deer tractor actually trying to get into the field... needless to say we bolted for the truck and got outa there as fast as we could. So yeah **** blocked by farmer ****ing john who the **** farms at midnight anyways i was so pissed 4 hours trying to get some...
Keep On Keepen' On