HWFG1
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
222 IQ
#1
Right, so, I dunno exactly what to call this. I'm pretty sure it's a ballad, though I've no idea where the lyrics came from. I posted an audio recording of the guitar a few weeks ago, and decided I'd post the full thing for crit. Anyways, give a listen, tell me what you think, leave a link, and I'll return the favor =D

EDIT: I updated it a few posts down
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect." - George Carlin
Last edited by HWFG1 at Feb 10, 2009,
creeping.death!
Coffee powered.
Join date: Nov 2007
587 IQ
#2
The acoustic riff is good, and I really liked the solo. The last piano part feels kinda empty, I think you should make it the other way around: start with bass and end the song with only the piano. Also, the drums should be a bit louder, since you can barely hear them.
It's a pretty short song, too. I'd add a second verse after the solo.

Overall it has potential but it needs work.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1060614
Gizmo Factory
Registered User
Join date: Apr 2007
814 IQ
#3
100% beautiful man. Thanks for critting my song, by the way.


Okay this was nice and clean as hell. The solo was beautiful and fit with the song; the lyrics were great. You should write another verse, though, and change up that piano a bit at the end. It seems a little empty, as creeping.death! above me said.

10/10, for the length, it was absolutely smooth and I liked it a lot.
HWFG1
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
222 IQ
#4
Thanks guys! I'm working on a second verse, it's slowly coming along.
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect." - George Carlin
Seth Shadows
G|-18b19-~~[18]pb19~~~\
Join date: Sep 2006
6,719 IQ
#5
Dude, I wanna see the finished product so bad.
I'll wait out and crit then.

Besides this: there are very few things id change in the solo, and id make the vocals an octave higher.
Quote by Cobain_is_king

Seth: 1
A7X: 0
HWFG1
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
222 IQ
#6
Okay, so, I added the instrumentation for a second verse, and another solo/lead thing, and upped the vocals an octave. Haven't gotten around to lyrics, but, I'm working on it.
Attachments:
Down Under.ZIP
"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect." - George Carlin