The recording quality could be better, did you use your computer's built in microphone? Some of the lines in the lyrics seem forced, not really the lines I guess, but some of the words I guess are awkward to sing. Your voice is listenable, so that's a good thing! I think maybe the melody could be a little bit more interesting throughout the verses, I like it a lot when it comes to the chorus. The ending seems abrupt. But overall good job I'd say.