Things you don't want to hear the pilot say over the plane's intercom.

Page 1 of 8
#1
If you were on a plane, what would be the last thing you'd want to overhear the pilot say over the plane's intercom?


"*sigh*....would you take over, Jim? I really need to wank."


"So...have you ever found the clitoris?"


"Hawaii is kinda shaped like a kidney, right?"
#2
"Hello and welcome to Ryanair!"
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#5
Quote by Kensai
"Hello and welcome to Ryanair!"

ZING!
Member of the Bass Militia, PM Nutter_101 to join

Quote by bass-boy-garith
well done mr. kiss my bass, well done
#6
"Ok folks, our in flight movie will be a series of sex tapes your parents have made"
Just remember, at the end of the game, the king and the pawn go in the same box
#8
So, how many lines will be stole from Mock the Week??
Quote by wiggyisgreat
Slooj, I'd bang you so hard.


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#10
Quote by roosoh13
"Ok folks, our in flight movie will be a series of sex tapes your parents have made"


Sigged.
AMERICA
AMERICA
AMERICA
#12
Pilot: Hello, this is the Pilot speaking. I'm sorry for the turbulence. It seems that the co-pilot seems to think he can touch my steering wheel.
Co-Pilot: This is the Co-Pilot. The pilot seems to forget that it is not HIS steering wheel, but it's the companies and I have every right to use it.
Pilot: Pilot again. I don't know why he wants to fly the plane. We've not got enough fuel left anyway.
#14
"i won't fly until i get my danish!"
or
"i like men."
Warmoth Strat w/ Lace Holy Grails
'07 Roadhouse Strat
Washburn WD-21 all Koa Acoustic
Marshall JCM-2000 TSL-122
Bugera V-5
#15
Quote by boreamor
Pilot: Hello, this is the Pilot speaking. I'm sorry for the turbulence. It seems that the co-pilot seems to think he can touch my steering wheel.
Co-Pilot: This is the Co-Pilot. The pilot seems to forget that it is not HIS steering wheel, but it's the companies and I have every right to use it.
Pilot: Pilot again. I don't know why he wants to fly the plane. We've not got enough fuel left anyway.
#17
"If you'll notice out the left window we have the Hudson River. This is where we will be landing, please buckle your seatbelt and brace for impact."
Quote by red18420
There is no point except party and be healthy and happy. Also money is not something to live for. If i didnt need money for drugs and beer i would give mine away.


Vote here to help me get to BC!
#19
"We will shortly be landing in England."

"Right, so this one's up and this one's down, right?"

"Did you close the door?"
"What? I thought you closed it!"

"Oh ****. Fuel."
#21
"Ohhhhh the map was upside down!"
or
"hey I bet you $10 I can make this thing do a flip!"
Quote by bass-boy-garith
Quote by guitarhero_764
I guess I'm kind of like a hippie. I'm anti-war, do drugs, and like communism.
Your not a hippie, just a ****ing moron.
#23
"Alla Jihad!"
Seattle Seahawks


Quote by chookiecookie
i feel like you have an obsession with aubrey plaza.


Quote by WCPhils
at least we can all agree SGstriker is the woooooooooooooooooooooorst
#24
Tonight we die for Allah!
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#27
"Oh ****, that red light cannot be good."

"INCOMING AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"BYAH!" Howard Dean anyone?
Smart Pothead and Proud
#28
Quote by SGstriker
"Alla Jihad!"



or
"Nah that Myth is totally fake!"
"Really?"
"Yeah just push the stewardess out right now"
Quote by bass-boy-garith
Quote by guitarhero_764
I guess I'm kind of like a hippie. I'm anti-war, do drugs, and like communism.
Your not a hippie, just a ****ing moron.
Last edited by cukd7x-a2- at Feb 9, 2009,
#29
Welcome to Islamic Jihad Airlines, I'm afraid this flight will be making an unscheduled stop at paradise.


Quote by MightyAl
How do you physically download an album? Like run your computer off a dynamo on an exercise bike?
#31
Quote by cukd7x-a2-
"Ohhhhh the map was upside down!"


"We're no strangers to love..."
#32
"I had the fish."

"Incase of emergency we will all die, thank you and enjoy the flight."

"I bet I can make this thing flip."

"I shouldn't of slept through that bit in pilot school on landing."
We sailed through endless skies...

Quote by King Twili

if someone sigs this i will be fairly displeased.


Lady Gaga has a penis! >>EVIDENCE<<

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#33
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
My Musical attempts

My youtube music channel

Quote by TOMMYB22
Dammit, beaten to it, and by someone with the same name

CURSE YOU TOMMYT!!!!!!!!!!!!


Quote by daeqwon10000
I hate tommyt and the high horse which he rides upon
#34
"Isn't that funny? We both lose a contact lense at the exact same time!"
+1 for the reference
and
"FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"
Quote by bass-boy-garith
Quote by guitarhero_764
I guess I'm kind of like a hippie. I'm anti-war, do drugs, and like communism.
Your not a hippie, just a ****ing moron.
#36
"Oh god! Jim not that button!"...."This is the pilot speaking, we hope you have enjoyed your flight... and your lives."
#37
"SNAAAAAAKES!!"


or, to a lesser extent, "Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger Mushroom Mushroom"
Quote by Chrisiphone
Oh wow this is a guitar forum!
Quote by JacobTheMe

Karvid is sexy

Quote by KAS1981
Why is it that some folks quote praise from other members in their sig lines?
Its lame.
#38
Quote by dancesisidance
Welcome to Islamic Jihad Airlines, I'm afraid this flight will be making an unscheduled stop at paradise.