#1
This is my conclsion paragraph to my 11th grade lit paper, please tell me if the last sentance is a run on or something, t sounds wierd to me.

This greatly revolutionized mentality is precisely what Fitzgerald was referring to when coining the phrase “the jazz age”. Jazz music, new and bold, was accepted by young people as something fueled by a furious spirit with which they should all embrace throughout their glamorous, to disregard drama and tragedy, lives. Although lives of pain, drama, and drunken regrets; they were lives of wild nights and good times, lives of the jazz age; An unprecedented period of behavior that brought Americans together under the common flag of social rebellion, a flag that was destined to fly high over the United States throughout the next century (Kallen 130).
#2
The sentence beginning with "Jazz music," is not quite clear. "throughout their glamorous, to disregard drama and tragedy, lives." I could be missing something I dunno.
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#3
learn how to use semi-colons then rewrite it.

unless it's due tomorrow or something then i guess i could be nice, and actually help.
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#4
Quote by eaglemike

This greatly revolutionized mentality is precisely what Fitzgerald was referring to when coining the phrase “the jazz age”. Jazz music, new and bold, was accepted by young people as something fueled by a furious spirit with which they should all embrace throughout their glamorous, to disregard drama and tragedy, lives. Although lives of pain, drama, and drunken regrets; they were lives of wild nights and good times, lives of the jazz age; An unprecedented period of behavior that brought Americans together under the common flag of social rebellion, a flag that was destined to fly high over the United States throughout the next century (Kallen 130).


Two problems are in bold.
#5
Quote by eaglemike
This is my conclsion paragraph to my 11th grade lit paper, please tell me if the last sentance is a run on or something, t sounds wierd to me.

This greatly revolutionized mentality is precisely what Fitzgerald was referring to when coining the phrase “the jazz age”. Jazz music, new and bold, was accepted by young people as something fueled by a furious spirit, with which they should all embrace throughout their glamorous and disregarding lives. Although lives of pain, drama, and drunken regrets, they were lives of wild nights and good times.The Jazz Age, an unprecedented period of behavior that brought Americans together under the common flag of social rebellion, a flag that was destined to fly high over the United States throughout the next century (Kallen 130).


I made the changes above, in the quote. Also, don't start a conclusion paragraph with "This." Add a subject to the first sentence.
#6
The influence of jazz and the greatly revolutionized mentality is precisely what Fitzgerald was referring to when coining the phrase “the jazz age”. Jazz music, which was new and bold at the time, was accepted by young people as something fueled by a furious spirit with which they should all embrace throughout their glamorous, to disregard drama and tragedy, lives. Although lives of pain, drama, and drunken regrets, they were lives of wild nights and good times. They were lives of the jazz age; an unprecedented period of behavior that brought Americans together under the common flag of social rebellion, a flag that was destined to fly high over the United States throughout the next century (Kallen 130).

Bolded are corrections, italicized sentence is major WTF. Don't be so complex, simplify it. It's far too wordy. Otherwise, your writing is good for 11th grade.
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#7
Quote by eaglemike
This is my conclsion paragraph to my 11th grade lit paper, please tell me if the last sentance is a run on or something, t sounds wierd to me.

This greatly revolutionized mentality is precisely what Fitzgerald was referring to when coining the phrase “the jazz age”. Jazz music, new and bold, was accepted by young people as something fueled by a furious spirit with which they should all embrace throughout their glamorous, to disregard drama and tragedy, lives. Although lives of pain, drama, and drunken regrets; they were lives of wild nights and good times, lives of the jazz age; An unprecedented period of behavior that brought Americans together under the common flag of social rebellion, a flag that was destined to fly high over the United States throughout the next century (Kallen 130).


If I'm reading this correctly, the words in bold should be rewritten as "furious spirit with which they should all embrace, to disregard drama and tragedy, throughout their glamorous lives." I think that it makes a lot more sense that way.
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