#1
Here's what you do: Make and describe an action scene as such...


The good guy chases the bad guy into a bowling alley. He corners him and points his gun at the bad guy.

Bad guy: No! Please! Spare me!
Good guy: You know what's better than a spare? A STRIKE!

BLAM!
#2
Quote by Chrois
Here's what you do: Make and describe an action scene as such...


The good guy chases the bad guy into a bowling alley. He corners him and points his gun at the bad guy.

Bad guy: No! Please! Spare me!
Good guy: You know what's better than a spare? A STRIKE!

BLAM!

Hahahahaha, where ever did you come up with this? Props for amazing thread idea. I'll have something soon.
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#4
so two demons are facing off against each other, in a grand ballroom, weapons and such decorate the walls while, the moonlight glowing through the glass ceiling provides the perfect spotlight for their epic battle.

Though both demons, one is a lesser demon shown by his lack of wings. while the other a more advanced higher demon readies his wings for battle. with claws drawn they strike.

The lesser demon attempts to keep up with the speed and power of the highborne, yet fails and ultimately meets his demise under the fell blade runeheart.
SATCH FTW!!!
NSW Group FTW!

There's nothing incredibly interesting here.
#5
My friend and I write screenplays. I have a TON of these.
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#6
The old man walked into the bar with his phone up to his ear. The greasers playing pool aren't rich enough to afford a cell phone, so they beat the shit out of him.


amidoinitrite?
Write your own lyrics or poetry? Post them HERE for a crit.
Follow me on Twitter
#8
Quote by bowdyyz69
once upon a tme there was a fail thread
it failed
it was epic

Wow. How clever of you.
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#9
Quote by Chrois
Here's what you do: Make and describe an action scene as such...


The good guy chases the bad guy into a bowling alley. He corners him and points his gun at the bad guy.

Bad guy: No! Please! Spare me!
Good guy: You know what's better than a spare? A STRIKE!

BLAM!



This must have come from an Ahnuld movie
Check out my band Disturbed
#10
Oh man, I thought up something like that:

The President is in his office, a terrorist dispatches (or concludifies them ) all the guards, the terrorist makes it to the President's office, where he's ordering a pizza. The terrorist points a gun at the President. The President holds the phone up.

Terrorist: Die! American pig-dog!

President: It's for you!

Slams the phone into the terrorist's face, essentially bring world peace to the Earth.
#13
Quote by StewieSwan
This must have come from an Ahnuld movie

"You wanna be a farmer? Here's a coupla acres!"
*kicks man in balls*

(that WAS from an Ahnuld movie.)
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#14
Quote by Injuyin
Jealous semi-executive sits in top floor office chair.

*ding* Elevator hits the top floor, long time super executive walks out.

They proceed to chat next to each other facing out to the wonderful beach side view.

Executive: "You know, I've worked hard all these years to get this job, and I've learnt many things throughout this time."

Semi Executive: "Well is that so?" *snide voice*

Executive: "Mm?"

Semi Executive: "Well I'm sure if you know so much, you ARE aware of the old saying."

Executive: "And that is?"

Semi Executive: "What goes up...."

<swap to shot showing only eyebrows tensing>

MUST COME DOWN!"

<Executive gasps in mouth shot>

*spinning heel kick into the back of the Executive, smashes through glass and proceeds to fall down 40 stories."

<New executive fixes tie and walks away.>


NO! The Sem-Exec will obviously get caught for that act. For it to work, it would have to be a crime lord or some such that takes his arch-nemesis, the protagonist of the story, into his headquarters to taste sweet revenge, starting with an epic monologue.

Then the protagonist delivers the "What goes up..." line, and all is well within the bounds of semi-reality.
#15
Quote by Cianyx


That movie is so bad it's awesome.
Quote by Ichikurosaki
sloth is hacking away feebly at the grass because he is a sloth but he was trying so hard ;_; hes all "penguin im HERE i am here to help you penguin"
#16
Okay I got one, it's ****ing terrible .

Scene: Bar / Pub / Tavern

So there's a totally rad loner dude sitting at the bar, when a gang of tough looking biker type guys comes up to him. They get into a heated discussion over some part of the plot of this hypothetical nondescript B grade action movie that I'm making up, which inevitably leads to the line said by one of the bad guys, "Oh yeah, well your mother's a *****!"

Our hero looks up at him and says, "For your information, my mother was a saint! The patron saint...of PAIN."

That's when our hero hits the guy with an uppercut, sending him flying into a table and chairs. The guy's lackeys then begin to come at our hero, one by one of course. The fight moves over toward the pool tables, where our hero utters the line, "8 ball, YOUR SKULL!" before kicking the 8 ball out of the billiards pocket with his knee and spiking it into a bad guy's face, effectively dispatching him.

Eventually, our hero successfully knocks out all but the main bad guy, the boss man, the leader of the group. The boss, who has obviously had enough embarrassment for one night, pulls a revolver out of his jacket and aims it at our unarmed hero. Our hero, being the clever son of a bitch that he is, coolly strikes a Ryu-from-street-fighter fighting stance and raises an eyebrow before saying, "Never bring a gun...to a CATFIGHT!". He then reaches next to him where a cat is sitting on the bar minding its own business (because every bar has a resident cat), and tosses it into the boss's face, causing him to fire a shot into the air.

Our hero then grabs a beer bottle / handle of vodka from behind the bar, turns to the cowering bartender and says "Put it on my tab!" before loudly smashing the glass bottle over the distracted boss man's head, knocking him out and thus, ending the fight.

And of course, our hero calmly walks back to his drink at the bar as if nothing happened, while the camera zooms out and the whole place is destroyed.
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#18
Quote by Demon Wolf
That movie is so bad it's awesome.



I know..
Gotta admit they had a lot of creativity thinking up soo many shooting scenes
#20
INT. LABORATORY - NIGHT

The good guy, Goodman runs through the main doors of the lair of the bad guy, Badman. Goodman looks around, seeing a disarray of equipment, weaponry and junk. A clatter to Goodman's left. He swings his pistol up at the sound. Badman is standing in front of a spotlight, creating a dramatic silhouette.

Badman: Haha! You have found my lair! But come on, Goodman. You know we're alike. You couldn't kill me in a place we could share... my laboratory!

Goodman: The thing is, Badman. We don't exactly have very good CHEMISTRY!

Goodman fires off a shot, which Badman dodges just in time.

Goodman: It seems you have a fast REACTION time. Well, I'm going to make sure you go out with a BANG.

Goodman leaps up onto the platform Badman is occupying, and reaches over to an electrical cable. Snagging it, he whips Badman.

Badman: WIRE (why're) you doing this? You know you can't win!

A spark from the cabe zaps Badman.

Goodman: Well isn't that SHOCKING? And Ohm-y god, could you get any more arrogant?!

Badman: You're right. Let me be more courteous. Allow me to GIVE YOU A HAND.

The evil genius swings at Goodman, missing by centimetres and stumbles forward. Goodman kicks him in the back, sending him falling.

Goodman: I guess you just GOT THE BOOT! That ought to FOOT the bill for you! Now you can TOE the goddamn line! Just make sure you don't HEEL too fast.

Badman picks himself up off the ground, and brushes his suit down.

Badman: Your attitude SUITS me very well. But you should have prepared better... I don't know... Maybe...

He hits a switch, which collapses the platform. Goodman falls clumsily and gets trapped in a large, stainless steel case with a porthole.

Badman: IN CASE that happened! Now it's time to pause this charade. FREEZE.

Another switch on Badman's remote begins to fill the case with ice cold water.

Badman: Well isn't this a COOL experience? Hahaha, Goodman. It was ICE to meet you, but now your time has come...


TO BE CONTINUED.
#21
^ Hahaha, that was funny but a little too much. Now we're just making comedy routines.
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#22
well... while we're all posting scripts...

EXT. CHUCK'S JOB - MORNING

Chuck parks the car. He exits, briefcase in hand, and walks into the building.

INT. CHUCK'S JOB

Chuck walks through the office building without stopping to talk to
anyone. He just walks directly to his office and throws himself down
into his chair.

CHUCK
(sigh)
Here we go...

He hears a knock. He looks up and his boss, (JOSH) is standing at his door.

JOSH
Knocky knock...

CHUCK
Oh hi Mr. Baggadouche.

JOSH
Hey now. What did I tell you about that? Call me Josh. I'm Josh. Just
because I sign your checks doesn't mean you have to call me Mr.
Anything.

CHUCK
(forcing a smile)
Right. Sorry, sir.

Slight pause.

JOSH
Say, Chuck... can I have a word with you in my office?

CHUCK
Huh?? Well, uh... sure.

JOSH
Aaaalright.

Josh walks away. Chuck stands up and follows.

INT. JOSH'S OFFICE

Josh is sitting behind his desk. Chuck walks in and stands there.

JOSH
Chuck, when you... hey go ahead and shut the door and have a seat.

Chuck has a seat directly across from Josh's desk.

JOSH
Chuck, when you walked in here today, you walked right by my office.

CHUCK
(beat)
Yeah...?

JOSH
Well usually when you walk in in the morning, you at least pop your head in and at least say hi. But today you just
(makes walking motion with his fingers)
Skidattled right on by without saying a word.

CHUCK
(hangs head)
(sighs)
Yeah...

JOSH
And I mean, it's not like it's required of you to make small talk with me when you walk in, but that's exactly what you've done every day that you've worked here for the past four and a half years.

CHUCK
Wow. It's been that long, huh?

JOSH
Yeah. So today when you walk in and just walk right by my office without saying anything, it kinda makes me think something's bothering you. Is something bothering you, Chuck?

CHUCK
Yes, sir... kinda... I guess.

JOSH
Anything you wanna talk to me about? You don't have to if you don't want to, but sometimes it helps to just get it out there and off your chest, you know?

Chuck hesitates for a second.

JOSH
Remember... I'm your boss, but I'm also... your friend.

CHUCK
I just have a lot on my mind is all.
(beat)
Remember how I told you I finally proposed to my girlfriend...

JOSH
Yeah... but I thought she said yes?

CHUCK
Oh she did. But, like, I've been kind of stressing cause we set a wedding date for next summer and I want to make sure this is the best day of her life, you know. It's always been a dream of her's to get married on the beach on some tropical island or something like that... but Josh, I just can't afford it. I... I can't even afford my own place. I'm still living with her.

JOSH
Aw Chuck...

CHUCK
Yeah, and that's another thing. I feel like I'm such a burden on her. I can't afford to live on my own... there's months when I can't even afford to help with the utility bills. Everyday on my way home from work I stop by the gas station and buy a lottery ticket, hoping I can maybe make a million dollars, or at least enough to afford to take her out to dinner once a month. I can't... I just... I don't even know why she's still with me... but I wake up everyday and thank god that she is cause I don't know what I'd do without her.

JOSH
Chuck, she's still with you because she loves you. The fact that you don't have a lot to offer should be proof of that. You see, there are people in this world who just have everything. They're rich, they're famous, they're powerful... and because of this they can get any girl they want.

CHUCK
And this is supposed to make me feel better about myself?

JOSH
But do you know what they can't get, Chuck? They can't get love. They can get any girl they want, but they can never find love because all those girls, they're in love with the money, they're in love with the fame, they're in love with the power... not the man behind it.

CHUCK
Wow you're so right...

JOSH
But you... you're in a position most people would kill to be in and you don't even realize it. You have a girl out there that is in love with you. With YOU. Not your money, or fancy cars or whatever. She's in love with you and you're in love with her. And what more could you ask for in life? Besides... love, unlike money, only makes you richer when you give it away. And you two--you two are so incredibly wealthy.

CHUCK
Oh... my... god. Sir, thank you so much. You've just... you've just given me a completely different outlook on life.

JOSH
He-eey. It's nothing.

CHUCK
No, really. When I walked in here today, I was pretty depressed. I've been really depressed for like a month and a half now, but just talking to you for a couple minutes has absolutely turned everything around. I... I just... you really don't know how much this means to me.

JOSH
Sure I do. I'm just being a friend. And we all need a friend sometimes, don't we?

CHUCK
We sure do, sir. I'm gonna go get to work.

JOSH
You do that.

He stands up to leave. He gets to the door, but before he walks out--

JOSH
Oh, uh... hey Chuck?

Chuck turns around, smiling.

CHUCK
Yes, sir?

JOSH
You were, uh, fifteen minutes late for work today.
(beat)
That was your third time.
(beat)
You're fired.

CHUCK
WHAT?!

JOSH
Yep. Heh. Probably shoulda told you that first, huh?
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#23
EXT. CHUCK AND BAILEH'S HOUSE

A car pulls into the driveway, with a small screech.

INT. CAR - CONTINUOUS

Chuck turns off the engine and sits thoughtfully. He pulls off a
picture taped to the dash and looks at it. It's his girlfriend,
BAILEH.

CHUCK
(to himself)
At least I still have you.

INT. HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Chuck enters the house and walks into the kitchen.

CHUCK
(curious)
Something smells good...
Next to a plate of food, Chuck finds a note and reads it.

BAILEH
(note v.o.)
Chuck, I know I make you dinner every night, but tonight I decided to
make you your favorite. It's Ramen. Roasted chicken flavor. It's your
favorite. I also want to let you know that even on your darkest
dreariest days, I'll be here to brighten things up for you. Sincerely,
the love of your life- Baileh.

CHUCK
(smiling)
Aw. She shouldn't have.

BAILEH (O.S.)
I hope you're hungry.

Chuck turns around to find his girlfriend standing in the walkway
dressed in black lingerie.

CHUCK
Oh hi... Baileh. Yeah I am kinda hungry. The noodles look delicious. Thank you.

Baileh grabs him and pulls him closer.

BAILEH
I wasn't talking about the noodles.

CHUCK
Then, uh.. What? Hungry for what?

BAILEH
Ugh.
(beat)
Me, silly.

CHUCK
But that's cannibalism. I wouldn't...

BAILEH
No you ****ing retard. Hungry for... contentment. Don't you want to
know what happiness tastes like??

CHUCK
I still don't follow you. I mean, I can't eat nouns--

She gets annoyed and gives up before he even finishes his sentence.

BAILEH
I'm gonna go put my clothes back on. Asshole.

Chuck follows her into the bedroom where she's getting dressed.

CHUCK
Honey, wait!

CHUCK
Yeah, uh... gosh, this is all very nice of you. Look we need to talk
about something.

BAILEH
(upset)
Well I already tried to talk dirty but I think I would have had better
luck asking Michael J. Fox to be my own personal vibrator.

CHUCK
Baileh, that's not cool and you're not listening to me. I'm really
sorry for upsetting you but we need to talk.

Baileh's startled.

BAILEH
Oh. What's wrong?

CHUCK
Something bad... happened today.
(beat)
I lost my job.

BAILEH
Awwww baby! I'm so sorry for getting mad at you when you had a bad
day. Shame on me! Is that all you're worried about?

CHUCK
Heh, I mean... well yeah that's the gist of it. I just feel so lost, baileh.

BAILEH
Worry not, worry not. I can just support us while you look for another
job. In fact, gosh.. Just take a week off and loaf around the house!
You need it, babe.

CHUCK
(smiles)
I... wow. You're so amazing.

They kiss intimately.

BAILEH
You really mean that, Chuck?

CHUCK
Yes I mean that! You're my middle-school sweetheart. I've been in love
since the day you walked into my adolescent existence. And you know
what? It was fate. It was fate all along. I love you, Bails... from
the bottom of my heart. It's so comforting knowing at my age exactly
who I want to spend the rest of my life with.

BAILEH
I love you too. I couldn't imagine having a better relationship than this.

CHUCK
I agree. Let's stay together forever.

BAILEH
Hey Chuckie..

CHUCK
Yeah?

BAILEH
Um, golly how do I say this?
(beat)
You ever see The Sandlot 2?

CHUCK
(confused)
Uh, I caught half of it on television. Why?

BAILEH
It's basically a shameless regurgitation of the first one's formula.
I loved The Sandlot. Who didn't? But honestly, was a sequel necessary?

CHUCK
I guess not. Where are you going with this? I don't--

She cuts him off.

BAILEH
The matrix sequels! Once again, the first one's a claaaaasic and the
sequels were just awful! Profit at the expense of quality!

CHUCK
Yeah that's true, but..

BAILEH
What I'm trying to say is if something's that good, why keep it going?

CHUCK
Excuse me?

BAILEH
Yeah. I'm breaking up with you.

CHUCK
(shocked again)
Are you ****ing kidding me?

BAILEH
I probably should've mentioned that first, huh?
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#24
INT. ROOM - LATER
Chuck's stuffing a suitcase full of clothes and throwing things into a
duffle bag. "Mr. Sun" by Raffi is playing in the background. Baileh
enters the room.

BAILEH
I'm not sure why you're taking this so hard. I thought I explained
myself quite sensibly. Alls I'm sayin' is I love you so much that I
just want to end this before it turns to hate. We don't want things to
get bad, now do we?
(beat)
Kind of like how they should have ended things after Rocky 3 and Air Bud.

CHUCK
(angry)
Yep. You know them Air Bud flicks still do pretty well on video.

BAILEH
Yeah well you and I both know this ain't no straight-to-video
relationship. We're blockbusters. We're all Tarantino-like. It sucks
that it has to be this way but I don't want us to become some Kangaroo
Jack is Back type ****.

Chuck looks about ready to break down and cry.

CHUCK
I... none of this makes any goddamn sense!

BAILEH
Awww my Chuckie's all bitter now. You're so cute when you're mad.
Smile. Enjoy life.

CHUCK
Enjoy life? ENJOY LIFE??

BAILEH
I'm sorry, I'm only trying to cheer you up. I'm not sure where you're
going, with no home or a source of income and all. You're welcome to
stay here as long as you'd like, though!

CHUCK
We've been together for like ten years now. And like this, it's all over?

BAILEH
Um, yeah. I explained everything with the bad sequel analogy.

CHUCK
Yes, it was a very a bad analogy!

BAILEH
No I meant bad as in bad sequels. I thought the analogy was good. But
you're absolutely right, we shouldn't end it this way.
She grabs something from underneath the bed.

CHUCK
Huh?

BAILEH
Not without a end-of-the-relationship going away present.

She hands him a wrapped up gift.

CHUCK
What's this?

BAILEH
It's... Oh, just open it!

He opens the box and inside it is a closed bottle with some type of red liquid inside. He looks at her, puzzled.

CHUCK
Tomato sauce? Nevermind the fact that the idea of an end of relationship going away present is ridiculous, but... tomato sauce? What am I supposed to do? Make a pizza?

BAILEH
...Well I guess you could make a pizza with it if you wanted to.... but no, that's not tomato sauce.

CHUCK
It's not?

He opens it up and smells it. He is repulsed.

CHUCK
OH my god! Jesus.... what the **** is this?!

BAILEH
Well... see you and I... we shared a lot of moments together. First kisses, first school dance... all those firsts every kid goes through? I had them with you. You were even there when I had my first period.

CHUCK
Yeah, so? What's that got to do with... oh no... no no no...

BAILEH
Yeah! Ever since then, every month, I've been collecting all of my period juice and putting it into this bottle. And it's been... what... like ten years? That's twelve months a year..... Chuck, there's one hundred twenty months worth of period juice in this bottle...... and it's all yours.

CHUCK
You have to be kidding me. This is all a big joke, right? It has to be. You can't honestly be really honestly serious.

BAILEH
I've been saving this for ten years. Is that not good enough for you?

He puts the bottle down and covers his face with both his hands.

CHUCK
Ok. Ok alright. I need to get out of here for a while. I'm gonna go get in my car and just... I'm just gonna drive. I'm gonna clear my head, and if there's a god out there, I'm going to pray to him that when I get back, it will suddenly be april 1st, and jesus christ himself is going to jump out from behind our couch and say april fool's... this entire day was a joke, and I was just kidding.

He stands up and walks towards the door.

BAILEH
Meh. Alright. Suit yourself. But hey... if you're going, can you uh, stay gone for a while? I've got someone coming over tonight and we're probably gonna end up having sex and I'd really rather you not be here cause we're probably gonna be loud and you'd hear us, and... I really don't wanna do that to you.

He doesn't even reply, he just walks out and slams the door shut behind himself.


(.... ok ok, I'll stop there)
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#25
In school...

There is a huge fight happening in the hall. All the spectators are chanting for our hero (Fred J. Bob) to fight the bad guy (Mike Hawk).

"I don't want trouble now", Fred says. "You shoulda thought of that before ya took my fish!!!" Mike punches Fred in the gut and the crowd goes "ooooooh". Then our hero spots a mini handheld electric fan in the hands of one of our young viewers. "Well, I am your BIGGEST FAN!!!", he says before ****ing slicing Mike's face with it.

It didn't work because it was made of thin plastic and Fred is embarrassed and scared so he peed his pants. Then Mike says "Too bad... I guess I PISSED YOU OFF!!" then tries kicking Fred in the nuts. He is successful and Fred is lying on the ground scared and desperate.

That's when Fred sees the Vacuum cleaner with the Janitor.

Fred screams "YOU SUCK!!", before sticking the Vacuum cleaner in Mike's face, and putting the dial on high. Mike is screaming with pain with his facial features being sucked into an industrial vacuum cleaner set on high. Then the principal comes out of his office and sees everybody.

"What the hell are you goddamn kids doing now?!", then Mike says "But sir, he took my fish!!", "No, he didn't, I did!", "Well where is he now?"

"...worst sashimi ever"
#26
they started off epic and just went downhill

kinda like everything after rocky 3
Quote by bearded_monkey
Oh man thats amazing, you win midi pure. I don't care whether it's a competition or not


Quote by halvies


could have been 3 's but there wasn't nearly enough exclamation marks to emphasize the anger/disbelief

oh yeah
#28
Two nuns are walking when the devil shows up.

The older sun says, "Sister, show him your cross !!! ."

So the other nun walks up to the devil and says." You mother****ing son of a bitch stop harrassing us you bastard. I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be ****ting through a straw for years !!! ."


Got it?
Quote by blynd_snyper
yes we all need answers to xboys questions hurry up goddam it


Quote by Kankuro
Damn you X-Boy!!!


Founder And Member Of The " I Don't Masturbate Club "

TURNED 18 TODAY !!! (22/02)
#30
Quote by X-Boy
Two nuns are walking when the devil shows up.

The older sun says, "Sister, show him your cross !!! ."

So the other nun walks up to the devil and says." You mother****ing son of a bitch stop harrassing us you bastard. I'll kick your ass so hard you'll be ****ting through a straw for years !!! ."


Got it?

You just made a joke out of one of my biggest pet peeves: that your/you're typo. I'm not sure how I feel.
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light