#1
So ive been depressed for about the past 4 years...and its been pretty obvious. But it was just made "official" monday after i went and saw a psychiatrist and he said i have a chemical imbalance, gave me prozac, and said i might be bi-polar.

So heres a stream of consciousness type of rant i wrote while i shoulda been paying attention in math class. I kinda just wantesd to share it, nothing special.


Don’t we all have a story to tell? Isn’t there an audience for everything? It just happens that my audience is the Holden Caulfield worshipping, too depressed to commit suicide, angst ridden, cant figure out why they feel like **** every morning, cynical bastards.



They're ****ing with me subliminally, chemically, internally, and in the ass. I think I’d be a lot happier if I was gay. The young dark haired male wakes up every morning wondering, what went wrong? Why the **** wasn’t he happy? He had all the tools to be happy, a loving mom, wealthy dad, a nurturing family, good looks, plenty of friends….at least at one point he had plenty of friends. It’s just that I wasn’t given the instruction manual on how to use those tools. I broke all the tools I was given He wakes up the most passive fag ever but wishes he could kill 1/3 of the people he encounters. Only if I self medicate do I not go the whole day feeling like this. I doubt it’s a coincidence that the best weeks I’ve had have been ones of self medicating binges.



He needs a fix to fix him because he’s broken, not because he wants it. I welcome any subliminal, chemical, or internal ****ing. I see it as a necessity and am anxiously waiting. I have not been changed, no one has changed me, and I haven’t changed no one. I wish I could hit rock bottom, at least then I could stabilize and not get any lower. I’m bipolar but I’m missing a pole.
Last edited by oxy rotton at Feb 12, 2009,
#2
Hmm. And how does that make you feel?
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#5
not to be a prick, but just keep it to yourself unless you actually want peoples attention.
Its simple really:

show me yours, and I'll show you MINE
#7
ehhh nothing really. I just like to share the things i write, wheter its this type of **** or a story or lyrics or anything.

Id really just like notes on writing skills, cause i think i might pursue that field.
#9
Sorry to hear that. Depending on how old you are, move away from your current surroundings, do something worth while (maybe go to uni, do some charity work) and find something that makes you happy. you say you'd be happier if you were gay, why not, eh?
#10
is this like part of your therapy? sharing your personal life with the internet? ..
Gear:
Ibanez RG2ex2
mega distortion md-2
Metal Muff
Marshall MG microstack
Line 6 spyder hd75 halfstack
Sonic Stomp
Schecter Damien 6
#11
Quote by creeping.death!
Nobody cares, write a blog about it.


LOL write a blog LOL
Its simple really:

show me yours, and I'll show you MINE
#12
Get yo'self a blog.

I like reading that sort of stuff.

RMF


I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
#14
Quote by MODESTme
is this like part of your therapy? sharing your personal life with the internet? ..


Great band.
#16
Wow, sorry about that man. I really don't know how you'd feel despite having really low days. Hope you feel relatively better soon. Keep strong.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#17
Depression is crap. You'll get over it.

Take some councilling, but the main cure for Depression is time and patience.
#18
hope you get better man. been there before
Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.

"I am Jack's complete lack of suprise"
#20
Quote by oxy rotton
So ive been depressed for about the past 4 years...and its been pretty obvious. But it was just made "official" monday after i went and saw a psychiatrist and he said i have a chemical imbalance, gave me prozac, and said i might be bi-polar.

So heres a stream of consciousness type of rant i wrote while i shoulda been paying attention in math class. I kinda just wantesd to share it, nothing special.


Don’t we all have a story to tell? Isn’t there an audience for everything? It just happens that my audience is the Holden Caulfield worshipping, too depressed to commit suicide, angst ridden, cant figure out why they feel like **** every morning, cynical bastards.



They're ****ing with me subliminally, chemically, internally, and in the ass. I think I’d be a lot happier if I was gay. The young dark haired male wakes up every morning wondering, what went wrong? Why the **** wasn’t he happy? He had all the tools to be happy, a loving mom, wealthy dad, a nurturing family, good looks, plenty of friends….at least at one point he had plenty of friends. It’s just that I wasn’t given the instruction manual on how to use those tools. I broke all the tools I was given He wakes up the most passive fag ever but wishes he could kill 1/3 of the people he encounters. Only if I self medicate do I not go the whole day feeling like this. I doubt it’s a coincidence that the best weeks I’ve had have been ones of self medicating binges.



He needs a fix to fix him because he’s broken, not because he wants it. I welcome any subliminal, chemical, or internal ****ing. I see it as a necessity and am anxiously waiting. I have not been changed, no one has changed me, and I haven’t changed no one. I wish I could hit rock bottom, at least then I could stabilize and not get any lower. I’m bipolar but I’m missing a pole.


A third? Your not depressed. Two thirds, that'd be depressed. But a third...

No way.
D-U-F-R-A-I-S


Quote by darkstar2466
WRONG.

The only reason it exists is because drugs get people fucked up, and people love getting fucked up.

#21
haha i love UG and the "sux 4 you" post.

Im not being sarcastic. **** like this doesnt belong on a forum but it posted it anyways. Id be angry if i didnt get **** for posting this.
#22
Quote by notsojoeyb4eva
A third? Your not depressed. Two thirds, that'd be depressed. But a third...

No way.

I'm clinically depressed and I don't want to kill two thirds of everyone I meet... I just don't like myself
#23
Quote by Jackolas
Great band.


You´re doing this everywhere, aren´t you?

Good work
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Quote by Lord-O-Donuts
Banned for being the coolest April 08'er on UG.


please check out my own album:
almilano.bandcamp.com
#24
You know it's a guitar forum right?
Quote by Tyson2011
d von is truly one of the pit.


Quote by 09phillt
Good God Man What's Wrong With You!?
#26
Quote by d von
You know it's a guitar forum right?


Shut the hell up.

This is the Pit. The OFF-FREAKIN-TOPIC forum. You're not witty, or funny. Shut up.

This is Larry The If you click him, he will give you magic powers.
srsly.


If you are not willing to die for the perfect s'more, Then you don't deserve a s'more at all.
Last edited by AlecMag at Feb 12, 2009,
#29
Well i wish i was a physcologist, i might of been able to give you some advice that may actually help.
All i can say is stay strong.