#1
It was late in the evening of September 4th 2006. I was on my way home from work when I tripped on the pavement and twisted my ankle. It swelled up like a football and I ended up in bed for a few days with my leg supported on a cardboard box to keep the weight off it. Luckily there was no brain damage so I used the time to catch up with some reading and to start to write a song based around the last line of Psalm 132 verse 18 (The Message)

“but I'll make his crown sparkle with splendor”

I had just started earlier in the year to work through a song writing book I had bought at the local bookstore “Successful Lyric Writing” by Davis (Writer’s Digest Books). It is an excellent book written obviously by someone who knows what they are talking about and giving detailed practical advice on how to write a lyric from start to finish. Unlike many so called lyric writing books I have seen where most chapters are dedicated to copyright protecting, publishing and promoting your precious future number one hit which, by the way you still haven’t written yet because you are still none the wiser how to do so after reading the book!

Anyway back to the song. This proved to be for me a milestone in lyric writing because in the past I would mostly strum a few chords with the guitar and hope that some ideas would come along, but inevitably the lyrics and melody suffer as a consequence. So I set myself the challenge to write the song without lifting the guitar and without so much as a quaver in my musical quiver using the knowledge I had gained from reading the book.

There was a great sense of achievement in writing this and since then my approach to lyric writing in particular has changed and for the better I hope. I added the music later. One day I hope to see the crown for myself and more importantly meet the One who wears it!

SEE HOW HIS CROWN SHINES NOW!
http://artists.ultimate-guitar.com/sonsofasaph/music/all/play542710

No earthly coronation
With its pomp and pageantry
When on this regal brow was placed
The crown of supremacy

Was ever such honour and dignity
Bestowed on more worthy a brow?
See how the monarch accedes to the throne
See how His crown shines now!


Where now the jeers and insults
The mocking of the crowd?
The head that once was scorned with thorns
Now sports a royal crown

Crafted with skilled precision
From hand cut priceless stones
The right to wear this prestigious crown
Is Christ’s and Christ’s alone

Al
#3
Great little piece here, we don't get much religious stuff here and it was really nice to read that. I couldn't really notice many faorced rhymes, and the internal rhymes going on were very nicely done, with great flow and vocabulairy. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work!

I could suggest that you write a little bit more, just because it seemed as though the lyrics ended abruptly, and also because I enjoyed reading it. I think you could easily double what you have got there, but then it might not work with the song, but another stanza or something would be wonderful.
Last edited by Sanjezz at Feb 12, 2009,
#4
Great job this is the only religious piece I have seen on here, besides one I wrote about a month ago but that doesnt matter back to your piece, I loved it but I feel like the ending was pretty abrupt and it needs to be longer, maybe incoroprate a bible verse in the song, or add a chours or something and I might check out that book thanks for informing me about it
#5
little short, but loved it
"dear gravity, you've held me down in this starless city."