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#1
At about 5am I had a craving for an Onion Bhaji (Yes I know) So I decided to go to the 24 hour shop.

Just as I step out my flat I turn the corner and there is this drunk girl. Who decides to grab onto my arm and says that I am her new best friend. I tried speeding up but she kept grabbing onto my arm. All this time she was spilling Strongbow over me :/

I decided I couldn't get away because she kept holding me back and I was afraid if I ran she would yell "Rape" or something. So she cut me a deal. If I told her my name and shook her hand she would leave me alone.

So thus I proceeded to inform her that my name is Ryan and shook her hand. She introduced herself as Siobhan (sp?) unfortunatly she did not keep to her end of the deal. and proceeded to follow me for another 2 minutes. I asked her to leave me alone. And she said "No, not unless you give me a kiss on the cheek" and so I decided to speed up, yet she kept pulling me back (she was ****ing strong for a drunk bitch!)

I then decided I couldn't get away, and then she asked for the kiss on the cheek...So I kinda did :s

She kept to her end of the deal this time, and as I proceeded to carry on walking to collect my Onion Bhaji which i had now lost the craving for she stood in the same place yelling "Ryan I love you."

I exited the shop and noticed my newly acquired friend was standing in the same place. and I kept crossing the road and she must have noticed because she kept on trying to cross in the traffic everytime I went over the road. I decided I didn't want her to get killed.

So I went back over to the other side of the road where she was and mustered up the courage to walk past her. I did and she said these words:

"I know you. You are the guy that kisses drunk people. I forgotton your name. But remember I love you"

Then she said "You can pass"

In my defence. She was pretty cute :/ She was like...not a day younger than 35 though.
Last edited by RyanGillam at Feb 13, 2009,
#4
What'd you do wrong?
She probably won't even remember it. Don't worry.
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#6
What. The. FUKK.
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#9
Quote by Minkaro
Did.

You just DID a terrible thing.



I think he wrote done on purpose. The rest of his post doesn't fail grammatically. At least no more than average.

It was very readable.
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#10
hows this bad at all? its not like you raped her or anything.
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#11
What? i was expecting at least an assault, maybe even a rape/murder.
lame
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#12
I think you could've gotten at least a handjob if you tried.
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#13
Quote by GNiCk89
I think you could've gotten at least a handjob if you tried.


Maybe that's what the horrible thing was. Not doing that.
You're*
#15
I can't fucking believe you did that.

I hope you can't live with yourself.
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#16
Quote by brandon369852
I can't fucking believe you did that.

I hope you can't live with yourself.


Lulz.

I can't

But seriously.

Her cheek tasted like vomit!
#17
Quote by RyanGillam
Lulz.

I can't

But seriously.

Her cheek tasted like vomit!


What, did you throw up on her as well?

You make me sick.
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#18
And here I was expecting something exciting or horrifying, yet that was extremely lame.
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#20
Quote by RyanGillam
Lulz.

I can't

But seriously.

Her cheek tasted like vomit!

Eeewy.

You didn't do anything wrong.
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#21
I missed the part where you did something wrong? It seemed like you were nothing but helpful to poor drunky.
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#23
Quote by brandon369852
What, did you throw up on her as well?

You make me sick.


Yes. Yes I did

Buttttt...........In all fairness I can't work out why her cheek tasted like vomit (no I didn't throw up over her...)
#24
I love reading this stuff. The pit is so god damn grand
Existence well what does it matter.
#26
My friend...that was one of lifes little gifts just handed to you,..and you ****ed it up!
I would have proceeded to the nearest store (with my newly required friend) and bought some rubbers, and tagged that bitch...lol
#28
Ahh, I think you should've given her a pearl necklace. That would've been a nice gesture.
#29
Quote by RyanGillam
Yes. Yes I did

Buttttt...........In all fairness I can't work out why her cheek tasted like vomit (no I didn't throw up over her...)



loliez, you should have.
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#31
Um... what the fuuuck did you actually do?
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#32
Quote by Abunai X
Your story sounds like something Holden Caufield would say.


I have no idea who that is.
#35
I kissed a random girl in the street who was pissed out of her head just so the ****er would leave me alone. It is against all my morals.

Its a bad thing!
#37
Quote by RyanGillam
I kissed a random girl in the street who was pissed out of her head just so the ****er would leave me alone. It is against all my morals.

Its a bad thing!

I can piss better stories than that
Quote by herby190
Every thread I've seen you in has been a complete success. Yay you!

Quote by theking182
i'm voting for GNiCk89. i just like how he speaks TO me, not AT me.

Quote by \m/Angus\m/
Yea, Sublime is a great band. You have an Underoath icon, so I think your opinion doesn't matter.
#38
Quote by RyanGillam
I kissed a random girl in the street who was pissed out of her head just so the ****er would leave me alone. It is against all my morals.

Its a bad thing!


You have too strict of morals. And if your morals are as strict as you say they are, you can't say ****. >:[
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#40
Quote by RyanGillam
I kissed a random girl in the street who was pissed out of her head just so the ****er would leave me alone. It is against all my morals.

Its a bad thing!


You've got the strictest morals I have ever seen. Stop being a douche bag. Loosen up. It's ok to kiss girls on the cheek. And... the older you get the more drunk girls will hit on you. It's not a bad thing. It's a good thing.
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