Ok, actually second; but the first one was just a loong solo with only one rhythm figure.

I have totally no idea how to write percussion and bass parts so it would be appreciated if you could help me with them.
newer file.zip
Last edited by RiseAgainstScum at Feb 15, 2009,
your zip folder is corrupt. I suggest you fix that
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...

...You're still disappointing them...
=O it's soooo unique lol, after like 30 seconds it sounds like good lol how did you write it? lol
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
I'll try to write something serious.
It's extremely repetitive. The rthym part is the most repetitive of them all. The sections drag on for what seems like forever, there's hardly any of the vocal part. May I add I'm not what the hell the lyrics are supposed to mean. I'm sure your bassist will have a field day with that. The lead part is way too on and off, it hardly exists. I can honestly say I don't like it, sorry.
Since it's your first attempt I'll give you credit for trying, but I really can't say much positive about this.

Crit mine?
Hell, its a lot better than the first song I put up on here :P
This piece was actually quite funny on first listen, but then it started getting abit repetitive. I think you've overused the chromatics abit through, especially in the solos though. Bit of leniency for a first(or second?) timer though. But yeah, I'm with Monkeysintheday.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=18642635#post18642635