Registered User
Join date: Jun 2007
1,508 IQ
New song, not finished yet.

The solo melody at the end is unfinished, and needs changing. Please don't confuse that as the finished article.

Please don't say that things get too repetetive ^_^

Registered User
Join date: Feb 2007
610 IQ
wow, first of all i really like it!
(oh and i just recognized that you're gerbs xD
cool to hear a song from you!)

ok, then ill do a big crit for you

intro: i really like it, needs no change at all. i like that you made some picking variations here.

kick in: i think it would be nice if the synth part were a bit louder, but other than that, its perfect - especially the drums are awesome! now i can see what you meant with "add a few ghost notes to the drums"
lead adds a nice color to the part, too. i think it would sound better without the vibrato though...

drum bit: i think the transition would be better if the guitars and bass would play the root note C in bar 25, just that it doesnt cut away everything but the drums and the voice.

guitars in: another perfect transition, nothing more to add^^

t: for me, the 12th fret on the bass played for the whole bar would sound better.

guitar riff: yeah, this riff is really opeth-style, i like it the drums are a bit too heavy for this part, i think a bit less bass drum would be it. while the open hi-hat was great, the crash was a bit too much...the bass in this part it very nice by the way.

solo: nothing to crit here, very good solo - very cool thing you did with the ghosts notes, sounds really natural!

so i hope it helps you^^
im excited how it will sound in the end
i'll give you an overall rating when its finished, ok?

edit: its really not repetetive xD
Last edited by Quicksand15 at Feb 15, 2009,
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2007
1,508 IQ
Cheers, Quicksand. I will give you a message when (or if) I finish this song...

I see what you mean with your suggestions. I'll take them into account (and probably use them), I promise!
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
Intro was great, all the little picking variations really did wonders for it.

Loved the drums throughout. I wish I could do drums like that.

The harvest style lead was nice, I think you had perfect note choice, but it felt like it ended a few notes too soon. I though the phrasing was a little stiff though. Maybe some grace notes and some slide in/out just to add a little fluidity to it.

For the drum bit I don't think you should have entirely cut the guitars/bass out, but instead just cut their volumes way back, and had them play just a held open chord or something. Even a synth drone or something just to fill out the sound a little.

Guitar in was perfect as far as I can tell.

Guitar bit is also really nice, and very Opeth sounding. It does seem to be a little rough still, and the strumming is a little loud sounding but still the idea is great. I did think the drums were a little too aggressive though.

The Solo really isn't a solo But it's not bad anyway. I love the rake into that melody, and the harmony sounds good too, except for the last one for some reason. However, make a real solo!

Didn't find it the least bit repetitive, and I really can't see why anyone would say that.

I'm looking forwards to hearing this one when it's done though.

If you feel like doing C4C I've got a WIP posted that you can check out if you want
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2007
1,508 IQ
I though the phrasing was a little stiff though.

Probably down to me being a bassist with little skill in writing lead lines : D But yes, I see what you mean. I'll look into 'sprucing up' this part.

Even a synth drone or something just to fill out the sound a little.

There is already. Though I can see what you mean about the guitars and bass.

The Solo really isn't a solo But it's not bad anyway. I love the rake into that melody, and the harmony sounds good too, except for the last one for some reason. However, make a real solo!

I'm totally with you on this one. It was just an idea I was playing about with, I hope to flesh out the guitar riff underneath to give me more than a 2 bar repetition to work with. The harmony at the end is wrong, as well - that's why it sounds ****e ^_^

Thanks for the lengthy crit, you'll be getting one back momentarily.
Plays Red Instruments.
Join date: Jan 2007
1,566 IQ
Critting as I listen...
First though, something funny I noticed. It's supposed to be Opeth-y.... but I can't think of a single song where they used Drop C tuning

But, now on to the crit.

Opening melody was nice, but I think a counterpoint guitarline would have accompanied it very well. If anything, just a guitar playing the root octaves. Also, I think that the synth should start on measure 4. Just as a build in to the drums, and the rest of the track.

Speaking of the drums, I really like them in this next part. That triplet sounds great with the guitars. You probably could've been a little more creative with the bass, but whatever.

The Harvest lead was great, although it felt a little more like a solo than a lead. I hope it re-occurs somewhere in the song. I could totally see this song being played by either Opeth, or, more likely, someone like Ayreon.

Vocals part was good, and I really enjoyed when the guitars came in. The ride was a nice touch, as a variation on the Hi-Hat.

The Guitar Bit section was EXTREMELY Opeth-y. I could actually imagine Mikael playing that, note for note. The chords sound very Opeth-y. However, on the same section, the drums sucked. Take those away, the don't add anything, and I think it would be cool to have a just guitar section there. I liked the bass for this part a lot, bass counterpoints are very good.

Solo was good, very Peter Lindgren-y. I wasn't a big fan of the harmonized guitars at the end, but I could see them working well. I'm going to assume you haven't written the end yet, because that was really apbrupt.

But, just some ideas for the end- go back to the beginning melodies, and bring that Harvest riff back. Perhaps build another solo off of that?

All in all, great song!

Would you mind critting mine?
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Registered User
Join date: Jun 2007
1,508 IQ
I see what you mean about the intro. Maybe some of the things i've labelled as 'weird ****' could be guitar licks etc. Nice idea, I will give it a look.

Bass was more of a filler in these parts. If I record this song (which I hope to) I was planning on improvising fills, etc. to flesh it out

[q]Solo was good, very Peter Lindgren-y[/q]

Thanks, i've basically got those first two phrases atm. I hope to build on them, and remove that (awful!) harmony part on the last bar.

I do intend to go back to the starting riff and the 'harvest' lead later on in the song as well. I just need to write some more first!

Thanks for the lengthy crit, I will reply to yours!
UG Lovely Member
Join date: Aug 2005
954 IQ
I loved it. Very Opethy, which is always good, although not exactly like Opeth, so there's still a unique style in there. I really loved "guitar bit" through to the end, that was all amazing. It wasn't too repetitive at all either, usually when I listen to songs on Guitar Pro downloaded from UG I skip riffs when they're repeated more than once, I didn't do that at all this time.

The have 2 small criticisms though, I didn't like the vocal melody as much as the rest of the song, it didn't seem very interesting, it wasn't too bad though. The drums in the "guitar bit" section also weren't that good, as silhouettica said, but I think adding some more interesting drums would be better than leaving them out for that part. I loved the drums in the other sections by the way.