#1
The Carpenter Who Couldn’t Build a Home (Second Chances Are Twice as Bitter)
Scribbles from my notebook:

I could’ve said something
No. I don't want to ruin things
So I let it sit
In the back of my brain
A sea of confusion
And knew you were in the same boat
Waiting to act
I’ll do it today
Make a move tomorrow
Maybe next time
Until I did it
But you’d moved on
And it was too late
I had the perfect chance
And blew it
So eaten up
A second chance rolls by
A rare occasion
Just like the movies
That magical kisssss
Still lingering on my lips
And yet I let you slip through my fingers
Your heart of sand
What did you want from me?
So I got over it
But now everything else is falling apart
Brick by brick
Each one stinging just a little more
So I sit and wonder
Alone in my room
How things could’ve been
How things would’ve been
How things should’ve been
Maybe I'm not over you
So I’ll try again
If you’ll have me
And maybe just this once
I can get it straight
And rebuild my life
With the people who matter most
Not my family
Not my “friends”
Just you
My paddle
My foundation
Last edited by PissInMyShoeses at Feb 16, 2009,
#2
Okay, I read this forum a lot and don't post, but I'd like to say that I like this piece, the only thing is:

"How things would’ve been
How things could’ve been
How things should’ve been"

I feel that this bit should be re-arranged to say:

How things could’ve been
How things would’ve been
How things should’ve been

It sounds that way like it's getting more definite in your mind, how it should've been..? I don't know. Feel free to disregard this, I suck at writing lyrics so bad that I don't bother posting any, haha.
#3
this has a heck of a lot of potential, some really stuff here. I'll get back to this.
#4
Quote by youcanthelpit
Okay, I read this forum a lot and don't post, but I'd like to say that I like this piece, the only thing is:

"How things would’ve been
How things could’ve been
How things should’ve been"

I feel that this bit should be re-arranged to say:

How things could’ve been
How things would’ve been
How things should’ve been

It sounds that way like it's getting more definite in your mind, how it should've been..? I don't know. Feel free to disregard this, I suck at writing lyrics so bad that I don't bother posting any, haha.

Haha not at all.
I actually think I like it better that way too.
Thanks for the advice bro.