Poll: Polls opened 5 days
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View poll results: Polls opened 5 days
Jammydude44
4 27%
ZanasCross
4 27%
cubs
7 47%
Voters: 15.
#1
Piece with most votes gets through to the final. Please consider originality of the words that were to be dropped while voting.

Jammydude44's piece (words were sushi take-out, heavy puffy snow and "never on the first night")

The Only White Snow Valentine


Mid-February, the sleet soldering
into snow by sneaky sleight of hand -
I spot her in the arms of a snowman.

Carrot in her eye and black circles smudging
across her thin lips, I watch with breath
solidifying in the air like heavy, puffy snow.

I notice - by his shapeless block of legs
and feet - discarded on the floor, a pile of
plastic tubs. They'd dined on our favourite,

our tradition; the Valentine sushi take-out.
I'd fed her Maki-Zushi by hand once before,
on our second date (never on the first night-

raw fish sours the minted mouth) and
we'd once fornicated in the thick musk of
soy sauce and wasabi. It was ours.

Suddenly the sour taste in the back of my
mouth subsided- they grinded too close,
her in slow foxtrot all tight to the cunning, cold jock.

I saw her flush hot, and then under the flawed
and speckled moonlight her icy lover thawed,

the only white snow Valentine, a slushy, yellow fraud.





Zanascross' piece (words were fancy dinner, bride, and "whipped cream and warm chocolate")


---untitled---

Twas quite the evening;
watching my bride to be
as she curled into a ball
and cried herself to half-sleep.
Our fancy dinner party has dissolved
into migraine soup with a dessert
of feverish whipped cream and
warm chocolate vomit.

Her make-up, gone.
Her evening gown, sweatpants and hoodies.
Her loving eyes, cascading.
But I kissed her on the forehead anyways;
that's what this weekend is all about.



cubs' piece (wine bottle, first kiss and eatable underwear)


of you, oh you.

she's got many souls inside of her,
one for each day
or week or month if the weather's
good enough to guarantee that nice, warm buzz
i imagine it's hard deciding which ones to sell
and which ones to keep
but hey - it could be worse
i mean, she could be free or some other spiritual shit.
she says you can't buy love, but she's selling
(not that anyone gives a damn, really)
and like a child reading his favorite fairy tale for the
hundredth time, she’s expecting a happy ending.

i sent her a letter the other day
i decorated it using my little cousin's crayons
drew sunny skies, starry nights, purple hills and tornado lies
all within a few centimeters apart
she didn’t mind, but it reminded her of our lovely/lonely times
i told her i didn't miss her at all (its true!)
and thanked her for all the blisters and
hipster wit and wine bottles and acting tips we shared together.
we never really had a “first kiss”, but there sure was a tenth
and a fifth and a second where i realized i didn't give a shit about her.
we used to throw matches into wells just to see
if we could get a glimpse of what's it like down
there. no luck or fun, but it was us.

now, last week she was here, packing her stuff
a couple of shirts this way, some socks over there
a whole box of intact eatable underwear,
home-recorded CDs for the long, long road trip
and between rays of light/lies and a whole city
of clouds down below
she said goodbye, as if there
was ever a hello.
#2
Incredibly tough call here for me. Zach's was good but Jamie's and cub's both shook me whole. I should have enabled multi-voting for this one, lol.
#8
just think I should mention that I think the results are completely backwards on this.

so it goes.
I owe a ton of people critiques.

If you're one of them, please PM me.

I have trouble keeping track.