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#1
I'm in need of some interesting speech topics. any with high surprise value would be greatly appreciated.
#4

elephants always walk on their tiptoes.

the people need to know!
.
..
...
I have no opinion on this matter.
#5
Since this is the pit, rape, and rape a classmate to demonstrate how to rape.
Whatever happened to sweet Jane?
#8
Make a speech about how it would be efficient to eat children, as it would serve to help end hunger, be a source of income, and curb the world overpopulation problem.

This is an original idea and has shock value!
Gunpowder: FUCKING ROCKS!!!
Quote by The Madcap
[witty set-up]
Gunpowder FUCKING ROCKS!!!!!

Quote by Kensai

Gunpowder you fucking rock!!

Quote by Dirge Humani
Now I can say, with sufficient certainly, that you, Gunpowder...

FUCK ROCKS!
#9
Quote by Zugunruhe

elephants always walk on their tiptoes.

the people need to know!

This man is on to something
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#12
Do... how to punch people in the face!

First you'd ask for volunteers. Of course no one will volunteer, so you say "come on guys... I was just going to let one of you punch me in the face". At this point you'll probably get a volunteer.

When s/he comes up to the podium, clobber them! As hard as you can, right in the f*cking mouth.

Then proudly announce the first rule of punching people in the face is deception.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#13
Talk about how you came to the off-topic forum on a guitar website to get ideas for a speech.
Quote by Beakwithteeth
What a coincidence one time I ****ed your cousin in the eye.
#14
Quote by Zugunruhe

elephants always walk on their tiptoes.

the people need to know!

Brilliant!

╠═══════╬═══════╣

THE SINE WAVE SURFER σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ

╠═══════╬═══════╣


[quote="'[BurnTheDusk"]']Boss pedals may be built like tanks but I would rather buy a cardboard box that is on my side than pay for a tank that is working against me.
#15
Talk about how the Jews did 9/11. Also talk about the Jewish New World Order.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#16
milf's in your area
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

South Carolina Gamecocks

Quote by SGstriker
Chef Strato-Massacre: Cooking shitstorms since that comment.

Quote by PurpleClawz
Damnit why are you full of so much win
#17
Quote by KeepOnRotting
Something on ethnic cleansing.


This.
Quote by necrosis1193
John Entwistle once in a while. I had to try to find him when I saw The Who two years ago.


Quote by sticksause
butthose bagpipes sound awesome.
#18
Quote by Strato-Massacre
milf's in your area

Also a brilliant idea.

╠═══════╬═══════╣

THE SINE WAVE SURFER σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ

╠═══════╬═══════╣


[quote="'[BurnTheDusk"]']Boss pedals may be built like tanks but I would rather buy a cardboard box that is on my side than pay for a tank that is working against me.
#20
1) Google "serial killers"
2) Pick a random one
3) Copy Wikipedia
4) ???
5) Profit!!!

Just do one over Charles Manson, and pass out LSD. Oh, be sure to have the X on your forehead.
#21
REALLY?

REALLY?



REALLY?

lazy bastard. we aren't your personal army. Use your brain (if you have one).
↓↑ MISDIRECT ↑↓


The (Rather Basic) Rig:
- 1982 Marshall JCM 800 2204 (Feels good, man)
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- Dunlop Classic Crybaby
#22
I mentioned this in another thread but, I did a speech on Hannah Montana last year and it went splendidly.
#23
You could go back in time and get a bunch of historical figures to help you get an A+ on your oral history report and save the world.
"Waltz it up! The pit is it!"
#25
Quote by TheAmericanRuse
speak about how tim allen is in fact really a lobster.

That isn't surprising.
Whatever happened to sweet Jane?
#26
Quote by Skippy_McNutty
You could go back in time and get a bunch of historical figures to help you get an A+ on your oral history report and save the world.



Iron Maiden?!
EXCELLLENNTTTTTTT!!!!!!
*air guitar*
Quote by Beakwithteeth
What a coincidence one time I ****ed your cousin in the eye.
#27
The effects of social injustice on today's society
The will be heartache,
there will be rain,
and joy I can't explain.
#28
old people drivers i did a speech on that and it went over well with the audience (all 15 of them)
#29
i go through guitar strings faster than slut pussy.
Microsoft Works...there's and oxymoron for you.
#31
Talk about how Adolf Hitler was the last incarnate of the Avatar of Vishnu, in the highest of all Indian castes. Plus a divine savior sent to Earth by the Gods to cleanse the Jewish populace before they soon gained a stronghold in the World Bank and a deathgrip on the American Entertainment Industry.

Then discuss how Hitler wasn't really the last Godbeing incarnate and you are infact the final savior of Earth. Then deliver a ferocious speech full of racial epithets, arm waving, delerium and screaming. Assuming you have conducted your speech correctly, lead your new followers out into the streets where you have your personal armed guard waiting (corrupt cops you have bribed with a forged bank loan).

Then proceed to parliament and conduct a putsch will your loyal followers storm the local News Station. Proceed to give a speech that dominates the population and reinvokes another Holocaust to save the future from the Jewish New World Order.
Last edited by Dwight Schrute at Feb 20, 2009,
#32
Quote by Dwight Schrute
Talk about how Adolf Hitler was the last incarnate of the Avatar of Vishnu, a savior sent to Earth by the Gods to cleanse the Jewish populace before they soon gained a stronghold in the World Bank and a deathgrip on the American Entertainment Industry.

Then discuss how Hitler wasn't really the last Godbeing incarnate and you are infact the final savior of Earth. Then deliver a ferocious speech full of racial epithets, arm waving, delerium and screaming. Assuming you have conducted your speech correctly, lead your new followers out into the streets where you have your personal armed guard waiting (corrupt cops you have bribed with a forged bank loan).

Then proceed to parliament and conduct a putsch will your loyal followers storm the local News Station. Proceed to give a speech that dominates the population and reinvokes another Holocaust to save the future from the Jewish New World Order.


This man understands!
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#33
You should have put 'pokemon' somewhere in the thread title. You'd have had twice as many answers.

On topic: Pokemon
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
the jonas brothers are sooo
█▄█ █▀█ ▀█▀
█▀█ █▄█ ♥█
☆┌─┐ ─┐☆
 │▒│ /▒/
 │▒│/▒/
 │▒ /▒/─┬─┐
 │▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
 └┐▒▒▒▒┌┘ PEACE! LOVE! JONAS!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
#34
Quote by Dwight Schrute
Talk about how Adolf Hitler was the last incarnate of the Avatar of Vishnu, a savior sent to Earth by the Gods to cleanse the Jewish populace before they soon gained a stronghold in the World Bank and a deathgrip on the American Entertainment Industry.

Then discuss how Hitler wasn't really the last Godbeing incarnate and you are infact the final savior of Earth. Then deliver a ferocious speech full of racial epithets, arm waving, delerium and screaming. Assuming you have conducted your speech correctly, lead your new followers out into the streets where you have your personal armed guard waiting (corrupt cops you have bribed with a forged bank loan).

Then proceed to parliament and conduct a putsch will your loyal followers storm the local News Station. Proceed to give a speech that dominates the population and reinvokes another Holocaust to save the future from the Jewish New World Order.



*looks at username* *looks at join date*.........

fail
#35
Ummm.... how about proper way to fap?

Some people don't know.

Teach them.

Dunlop 535Q Wah, Ibanez TS-9, EHX LBM
Mesa/Boogie Express 5:25
MXR 6-band EQ, Boss NS-2, Boss PS-5, MXR Phase 90, MXR Carbon Copy

GAS: Micro POG



Quote by Zugunruhe
this was the funniest thing ive seen in the pit for weeks.


^about me
#36
Quote by Cutlass_253
Ummm.... how about proper way to fap?

Some people don't know.

Teach them.


Both hands on the shaft?
One hand on the lovestick one in the cornholio?
One hand on the ivory banana and one performing cuppage duties?
What indeed is the proper way to fap? I for one, am intrigued.
#37
I did a speech on giving a speech for my intro to comm class.

Not being seen? You could even get some classmates to help you by hiding behind whoever they sit behind when you ask them "Would you stand up, please?"

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#38
Quote by titsmcgee852
The effects of social injustice on today's society

this, and only this
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
the jonas brothers are sooo
█▄█ █▀█ ▀█▀
█▀█ █▄█ ♥█
☆┌─┐ ─┐☆
 │▒│ /▒/
 │▒│/▒/
 │▒ /▒/─┬─┐
 │▒│▒|▒│▒│
┌┴─┴─┐-┘─┘
│▒┌──┘▒▒▒│
└┐▒▒▒▒▒▒┌┘
 └┐▒▒▒▒┌┘ PEACE! LOVE! JONAS!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
#39
I'll give you my speech if you want
The will be heartache,
there will be rain,
and joy I can't explain.
#40
Do a speech on why asian people should stop being dicks and drop the law suit on miley cyrus. Or scream "praise PETA, no more meat eating!" then punch someone.

That works
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