#1
ok, i wrote this song a while ago..it's a work in progress, i would just like some constructive criticism and maybe some helpful hints/tips..thanks for your help in advance.

A brand new hope, on a foreign tongue.
Words are whispered but I can't tell you're saying.
This brand new hope, in a foreign land,
My arrival may bring my demise.

I'm looking for a dream, a brand new start.
I've been pushed and I've been pulled but now,
Here I Am.

My surroundings take on a whole new meaning.
I am not welcome here.
I burnt the bridge I walked here on.
This isn't what I planned!

I'm looking for a dream, a brand new start.
I've been pushed and I've been pulled but now,
Here I Am.

My arrival brings my demise.
My prayers are not answered,
and my tongue is on fire.
Speak the language of a new land!

I've given my all and this is what I found,
I'm breathing the air of pollution and greed.
I'll burn this town and I'll burn with it.
Find corruption in the beauty.
Find the snake on your doorstep.

I'm looking for a dream, looking for a brand new start.
I've been pushed and I've been pulled but now,
HERE I AM!

this song is about the arrival of immigrants in america in the late 19th and early 20th century..so, please take that into consideration..other than that, please critique and give me some help..thanks guys.
"Spin round carosel when your horse isn't screwed in."

Gear:
Epiphone Les Paul Standard
Indiana Scout Acoustic Guitar
Fender 25 Frontman Amp


Quote by kurt_cobain9
mayan civilization= destroyed. Shows how well they predicted their end doesn't it?