#1
Hi UG,

For the past 4 months I've been sleeping on my singer's sofa. It's very kind of him to let me stay for hardly anything in return, but there's a problem... he's started to have a fascination with 'torturing' me. Put it this way- the other day I awoken to find him teabaging me, and this morning he put his dirty boxers in my face, rubbed a cum-covered sock in my face, rubbed his dick all over my head and put his cat's litter in my face.

So, with cat piss still leaving a sour taste in my mouth, what can I do to get him back? Be creative!
#5
Tie him to his bed, bathe him in petrol and lit him burn....
Gear;
- B.C. Rich Warbeast Bloodbound
- B.C. Rich NT Zombie 5-String Bass
- BOSS GT-10 Multi Effects TANK!
...In other words, I'm taking a giant dump on fender owners who use pods.
#6
Quote by Aidy Damage
Put it this way- the other day I awoken to find him teabaging me


I'll be back with some ideas when I'm done sigging that.
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#8
Quote by mrcrono

2. If you want to get revenge "UG style"... Cum blood on him?


+ 1, and pics
-Gear-
Line 6 Flextone III Plus
Behringer FCB1010 Emulating a FBV Longboard
#10
Run into his room wearing only a cape and a three-cornered hat, announce IT IS FARMAGEDDON!!' and stampede a load of cows through his room. Make sure they drop plenty of steaming turds.

Or, if you want to do it UG style, smash him in the face with the searchbar.
Quote by ozzyismetal
Neopowell, that's because you are a pumped-up sex offender.
Quote by Kensai
You're exactly the kind of person who'd have sex in a bar drunk
Quote by Zero-Hartman
You're a terrible, terrible man. This is a new middle for you.

I write things. You can read them.Essay on UK student riots
#11
I've had an idea- perhaps I should wipe my arse on his guitar necks so his hands smell like poo. No?
#13
I soooo sigged that.
Current gear:
Carvin CT6M
TC Electronics Dark Matter distortion
Harley Benton 2x12, with Celestion V30s
Laney Ironheart 60w tube amp
#14
Quote by no_thing101
cum in his food.

It's simple, and yet Super Effective!

Actually, I occasionally make him a coffee out of kindness... maybe I should put some extra love in.
#17
It's a bit of a grey area, really- I guess I look like a girl and he has an odd attraction to me. Maybe I should grow a beard- being told I look like Boxxy was enough!
#18
Quote by Aidy Damage
It's a bit of a grey area, really- I guess I look like a girl and he has an odd attraction to me. Maybe I should grow a beard- being told I look like Boxxy was enough!


Just don't be surprised if you can't walk properly tomorrow.