#1
The sun is setting over late morning.
Noon has not yet graced us
With her cheery reminder
That nothing ever goes away
Just because you forget about it.


The sheepdogs greet me
In barbershop style,
Eager to share their well-bought knowledge.
Their ancestry dates back
Much further than mine.

But I, as is my custom,
With honed arrogance sending
The hens into hysteria,
A cackle like an orchestra,
Rate my limited wisdom above theirs.

And as such, I feed the affable pigs
And prepare the grass for silage.
#2
Quote by Declan87
The sun is setting over late morning.
Noon has not yet graced us
With her cheery reminder
That nothing ever goes away
Just because you forget about it.
what? late morning is when the sun is rising its highest. which would be the opposite of setting. which means i'm slightly confused.

The sheepdogs greet me
In barbershop style,
all i'm picturing right now is 4 dogs in striped vests and bowties singing barbershop quartet style... is that really the image you were going for?
Eager to share their well-bought knowledge.
well-bought knowledge? from like a knowledge store? or bought with time and experience? maybe try to make that a bit clearer.
Their ancestry dates back
Much further than mine.

But I, as is my custom,
With honed arrogance sending
The hens into hysteria,
A cackle like an orchestra,
Rate my limited wisdom above theirs.
funny you should mention arrogance here, because that's really all i'm getting from this piece. arrogance and forced profundity.

And as such, I feed the affable pigs
And prepare the grass for silage.


i'm sorry, but i just didn't like this piece. it takes itself way too seriously. you're trying to put way too much importance on ordinary words. if this piece had a face, it would have a cocky grin plastered to it. until it got punched in the face for pissing off the wrong person. sorry, that was kinda mean. i don't mean to be a bitch, i'm just jonesin...
when birds flap their wings do the make believe they're really arms?