#1
This is a really like punk song about how the media makes a picture of perfection no can live up to.

The people walk down the street
To the songs of middle class creed
You know what they say to be
Its plastered on the billboards and tv
Look and you'll finally see
You'll die if your not majority
Abandon your points of view
For what other people do

Now you sold yourself
Your in corprate hell
Just be a fake for them
Keep that smile on til the end
Blend in with the crowd
Thats whats in right now
Individuality is so overrated
Its not you they want
Its the whole population

Look at perfection
Its what they're selling
Or is it just your reflection
So listen to what theyre telling you
You can be anything you want
Except what they dont want to see
So the keep it all the same
Be who they want you to be
Take your walk of shame

chorus

So swallow your pride
Come along for the ride
The world is watching
You need changing
All your friends say the same thing
Theres no reason for the insanity
Its changing humanity
But you sold yourself to them
So this is how it ends.
#5
You're unique....
Just like everyone else.... :p

Haha, I like it, though it is kinda generic -ish....
You're rhyming is nice n I can get sorta a rhythm goin, it's just that this idea gets written about a lot
#6
Quote by greyeyedfire
You're unique....
Just like everyone else.... :p

Haha, I like it, though it is kinda generic -ish....
You're rhyming is nice n I can get sorta a rhythm goin, it's just that this idea gets written about a lot


ya its loosely based on the ideas of Anti-Flag. So its kinda generic. Thanx for the crit though I appreciate ur opinion
#7
Well, like everybody said, it is kinda generic-ish. But rather than leave it at that, here's an idea: While it may require a fair amount of work, you could take this idea and take what you've got so far and actually turn it into a story. Rather than sort of have a lecture to a tune, where you're addressing "you" the entire time, describe a person (fictional or real) who exemplifies exactly what you're talking about. Make a character, and all of a sudden it becomes unique, even if the general gist is a relatively common theme. There's nothing new under the sun right?
As far as what you actually have here goes, it's pretty good. I like how not all of your rhymes are taken exactly from a rhyming dictionary. Straight rhyme gets old fast. The rhythm seemed a little weird to me in some places, but I'm sure that with actual music any of those spots could easily be remedied just by singing it to a different rhythm. Good stuff. If you're doing C4C, could you take a look at "Following Evangeline" in my sig? If not, I hate you... but not really. Take it easy.
#8
Actually, theoneandonlyq's idea of making a specific story out of it seems like a pretty kool idea....

Wish I'd thought of it.... :p
#9
I don't have a trademark on it . The very first crit I ever got on this forum, those were the words of wisdom the guy gave me, and I've been passing them along ever since. It's just the simplest way of taking something normal and making it unique and personal.
#10
Quote by theoneandonlyq
Well, like everybody said, it is kinda generic-ish. But rather than leave it at that, here's an idea: While it may require a fair amount of work, you could take this idea and take what you've got so far and actually turn it into a story. Rather than sort of have a lecture to a tune, where you're addressing "you" the entire time, describe a person (fictional or real) who exemplifies exactly what you're talking about. Make a character, and all of a sudden it becomes unique, even if the general gist is a relatively common theme. There's nothing new under the sun right?
As far as what you actually have here goes, it's pretty good. I like how not all of your rhymes are taken exactly from a rhyming dictionary. Straight rhyme gets old fast. The rhythm seemed a little weird to me in some places, but I'm sure that with actual music any of those spots could easily be remedied just by singing it to a different rhythm. Good stuff. If you're doing C4C, could you take a look at "Following Evangeline" in my sig? If not, I hate you... but not really. Take it easy.



thanx i appreiciate your help. I'll post a new version of it if I do end up doing that.
#11
Quote by theoneandonlyq
I don't have a trademark on it . The very first crit I ever got on this forum, those were the words of wisdom the guy gave me, and I've been passing them along ever since. It's just the simplest way of taking something normal and making it unique and personal.


thanx man that could change it a lot