#1
Pressure is building I'm going to explode
I can't escape this self destructive mode


Hang in there it will be ok
I promise there will be a better day


I won't let you turn your back
We will struggle through the days.
I can't watch you check out
On all the the promises that you've made
I'm there for you all the time
I wish I could stop you from this better crime

(SUICIDE)

I forced myself in, I locked myself out
Now I'm just another face in the crowd

That's not true you're one of a kind
Don't let this world pull you behind

Times are rough
I think I had enough
I've got to break free from the world's hand cuffs
I can't wait until the ****ing end
If you won't do it, I'll put a bullet in my head

Grab my hand for my last breath
As my tortured soul creates death

Hang in there it will be ok
I promise there will be a better day

The tears in my eyes won't let me see what my own ****ing mind is doing to me

I wish I could save you this needs to stop right now but all I can do is ask myself how?
#2
Overall nothing in this piece really stands out to me. The rhyming seems quite forced, and the third stanza is a bit cliche. It's a good effort, but I think it needs some work.