UG's Nu/Shyguy
Join date: Aug 2006
3,129 IQ
Alright, I've had the first three parts to this song written for a long time. (Intro, solo, part after solo) I only recently started adding more.

I dunno, what else do I say? It started out meant to be an Atheist-style death metal song, but more jazzy. It ended up far more progressive, and kind of sounding like PoS's "Stress." (At least with the vibraphone.)

C4C, I guess.

EDIT: AtheistEDIT is the new version, that has a new ending. That's all that has changed about it. I left the old file up so people could compare. Yeah, I probably could have done better than what I did with it, but oh well.
Last edited by RedDeath9 at Jul 28, 2009,
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2008
87 IQ
I like it very much. Idk if I could give any helpful critiques since I'm lost in this sort of music, but it was a pleasure listening to, that's for sure.
Signt, oo Jaed?
Join date: Feb 2007
1,892 IQ
-The intro reminds me of Atheist. This part grabs my attention from the get go.
-Solo after that has a Mars Volta feel. Very uplifting.
-Following riff has prog/post-hardcore vibe to it. I like the groove here.
-Triplet riff is somewhat interesting, but also one of the only parts I don't like out of the whole. Dissonant power chords give an unusual atonality, which is good.
-The avant-jazz section is awesome. Good transition.
-You utilize the irregularities of the 9/8 time sig like a pro. This part is a little unsettling. Also, it reminds me of BTBAM (as well as the riff after the triplets).
-Triplet riff again. Meh.
-Next section has some strange bass phrasing. I like it.
-Inspector Gadget tremolo picking. 'Nuff said.
-Back to the second BtBaM style riff, but with more harmonic inflections.
-Prog tritones. They're alright. The drumming really picks up for a moment, but it dies back down.

The vibraphone was a nice addition. Gave the song an etheral atmosphere.
Overall, I liked the song, but the conclusion left me high and dry. And those triplets didn't sit well with me.

I got a song that might interest you. Look under Mein Comps, and check out either Licked Salt, or Elonia/Endemia.
UG's only... UG'er?
Join date: Jan 2006
577 IQ
Awesome song, one of the better metal songs I've heard on here. I just can't be arsed to give you a full crit.

Just one thing, this riff;


Would be alot easier to play like this;

"A war is coming, I've seen it in my dreams. Fires sweeping through the earth, bodies in the streets, cities turned to dust. Retaliation..."

Check out my amazing band!
An Abstract Illusion
Last edited by ..NEM.. at Jul 29, 2009,
Something awkward.
Join date: May 2009
772 IQ
Wanted to see what sort of composer you were...

Well, the first 18 bars of this were really sick, in a damned good way. You go all time-sig nuts but it flows nicely, and the 12/8 part makes me think you'll do really well in the jazz-fusion comp... xD Of this part, I'm just not sure about those 15/16 bars, I think plain 4/4 would sound better there.

Transition into bar 19's riff sounds kinda off (well, never easy to link two riffs with such different moods). At first I'm put off by the "generic-ness" of this new riff, but it gets better as it builds up. The variation on bar 45 is quite nice, with the "explicit" dissonance of semitones clashing.

7/8 riff on 63 is odd but great, the 9/8 riff is... just odd (I don't know, it feels like a huge, very sloppy monster trying to do robot dancing - get my point? Probably not... xD)

Bar 79... that riff is starting to get old... but man, is that vibraphone soloish thing sweet or not? reeeally jazzy there, good stuff.

The following riffs are ok, but you tried to extend them for too long, became kinda boring to the end (bonus points for adding freaky atmosphere thingies near the end though). Oh well, that was probably the most "death-sounding" bit, and I'm not really into death so maybe that's why I didn't like it so much.

Anyways, nice effort, some parts of it were memorable (namely, the beginning and the 7/8 bit in the middle... and the 9/8 wackiness I guess), but didn't really go for the "deathy" parts.