#1
This is the first song I've ever written so I know it's not great but any critiques are appreciated.


You're the one playin hard to catch
And now I just gotta say I can't forget
The way you smile, just awhile especially
And girl you know you mean the world to me

But tonight it's time that I must say
There's something coming in the way
And as for tomorrow and today
There's nothing worse than being fake

[Prechorus]
Our eyes catch and we reflect
On what might or could just be the last
And I just can't admit it now that
All I want is all that I can't have

[Chorus]
Now the tears fall down her pretty face
As I stand still she walks away
But now my question still remains
Did I just make a big mistake

So now it's time to say goodbye
And I just wish I could tell you why
You're the only girl I'll ever meet
Who I know for sure is right for me

[Prechorus]
Our eyes catch and we reflect
On what might or could just be the last
And oh I can't admit it now that
All I want is all that I can't have

[Chorus]
Now the tears fall down her pretty face
As I stand still she walks away
But now my question still remains
Did I just make a big mistake

[Bridge]
She is perfect and within my reach
But no matter what we say
It's impossibly just too far to breach
Into what we'd call okay

Now I'm standing here on my own
Clearly having just been shown
The girl I've been seeing in my dreams
Was standing right in front of me

Chorus
Now the tears fall down her pretty face
As I stand still she walks away
But now my question still remains
Did I just make a big mistake
#2
Pretty good. Little cheesy and toooooo popish for me, but whatever floats ya boat kid.
#3
Got a nice feel goin, but don't be scared to use a wider vocabulary.
A good vocabulary can't make a bad song good, but it can make a good song great, so once you have something down, try going through it with a thesaurus n see what you can swap out.

Otherwise, it's good n I like it.
#5
i did notice that it sounded a little too pop-ish..which is bad because I really don't like pop music... but thanks for the critiques and maybe I'll go over it and try to make it sound less...woohoo? yeah...