Failing at n00b language
Join date: Apr 2008
1,550 IQ
This is a new piece of mine, venturing back into the J-Rock/J-Pop/Visual Kei genres. I used some synth in this piece, to give it this "80ies The Cure" character at times. It´s mainly in the Key of F# (Aeolian) Minor. This piece has a RSE mix, and I think it sounds quite good. There is also a Midi mix to listen to, because RSE gets too muddy and too bad with the timing at times. So please listen to both mixes. C4C, as always, the longer your crit is, the longer mine will be.

Have a nice listen!
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Quote by Lord-O-Donuts
Banned for being the coolest April 08'er on UG.

please check out my own album:
Join date: Aug 2007
367 IQ
*Critting while listening*
Intro was good but needed something to kick the bass in. I love the lead melody. Very catchy in my view. The bass is very good.
No complaints about the verse. Liked the lead part in this
Pre chorus didn't seem like a pre chorus to me. But thats just me.
Chorus was quite memorable. Would sound awesome with vox.
Flows nicely into the verse.
Pre chorus... I think the lead needs changing so it differs from the verse.
Chorus again - Love it
Solo... Nice start to the solo. The tapping was a good idea but I felt it didn't really work how you wanted it to (Just assuming) 'cause some of it doesn't fit that well to be honest.
Melody I liked. Nice harmony.
Chorus again - Still like it
As much as I love the outro I didn't think it was needed. I feel a chorus fade out may be more appropriate. But the way it ended I guess was ok.

The bass throughout was really good but maybe in some parts I felt it could be simpler which would be more effective (but thats just me). The guitars were very good and the drums complimented both bass and electric well. The synth added to the atmosphere. I liked it.
As for the The Cure and J-Rock/pop you was going for I can't really comment on 'cause I don't listen to much J-music.
a very good 7.8/10.

Link in sig
Join date: Aug 2004
2,638 IQ
Thanks for the assist with the drums. I used a good deal of what you did as a base and modified the hell out of it (possibly ruining it, possibly not ) I should have the completed song up in a new thread as soon as I write my last solo.

Anyway, on to your song.

Started with the RSE version, and honestly I thought it sounded terrible, the midi version sounds great though.

I like the bass intro a lot, but the timing feels a little awkward. This does seem to correct itself once the guitars come in though.

Everything sounds really fantastic when the guitars come in. Everything just meshes together perfectly. The synth was a really nice touch.

Verse is great, love the clean guitar, the transition is smooth. The only negative I noticed was that grace note on the bass. I think it'd sound better if you hit it on the beat instead of before the beat. Bringing in the second guitar half was through was especially nice.

The chorus and prechorus were both pretty good, but it feels like somethings missing. Vox are the obvious answer, but I think it'd also help if you kept the clean guitar in the mix, and just had it doing the same thing the synth is doing to make it a little fuller sounding. Loved that chord change near the end it was really unexpected.

Solo, started off really nicely, albeit a little predictably. I loved the tapping lick you threw in. I'm not sure if worked, and it felt a little out of place, but still it was really cool.

Melody. This is the only part I actually don't like. I'm not sure what you did, but it just sound strange to me. It feels like both guitars are jumping octaves and trading places, and doing other weird things. On their own they both sounded good, but with them both on it just sounds uncomfortable to my ears.

Love the outro. I think it'd sound a little better if you did a fade out though. It felt like it was left hanging the way you've got it right now.

Great song anyway. I can see it being one of those songs that gets stuck in peoples heads.
Never Been Great
Join date: Sep 2007
1,272 IQ
After listening to it 3 times, I'd say the first thing i gotta say is it kinda reminded me of popular J-rock bands like L'arc~en~Ciel, FLOW, Glay,etc. This crit anyway is based on the MIDI version since my computer can't play RSE smoothly
Anyway, here's my crit:

About the intro bass line, the rhythm of it kinda sounds weird but I don't know if it's just me, I dunno. Then after the drum line hits, comes the whole band which corrected the timing of the bass.
It really sounds like a L'arc song (not saying you ripped it off or anything) but it feels it got a J-rock vibe in there. Anyway, the blending of the 2 guitars really works perfectly to each other while the finger bass blended to the synth gives it the maximum backbone to the song. Then it keeps getting better with the extra layer of the synth and clean guitar.

Then comes the verse with its relaxing jazz guitar layering. I think the verse is great with its familiar structure of a J-rock verse (after a loud refreshing main theme it comes to a relaxing soothing verse with clean guitars and soft synths) Then comes a 2-note guitar work in the overdriven guitar which is also great but one think i might add is giving more variation to it (like making the higher note hit B and F#) same with the pre-chorus lead guitar part.

Pre-Chorus to Chorus:
Very beautiful. The bass guitar really shines in the pre-chorus section since there's not much lead guitar work in there. Then comes the Chorus which is also really good. The drums in there kinda reminded me of Fujifabric and Sakanaction but that's just me Then an unexpected modulation in the last bar really added flavor to that section (It's like Nobuo Uematsu would do in his compostions especsially in FFIX).

Then after some repeats of the song with a few changes (which are still good), comes the Guitar Solo:

It's really well-written and not a wanky, shreddy solo with too many flying notes. Though, the tapping felt sudden and i thought solo ended suddenly then comes Melody part which made a transition to a beautiful harmony.

Final Chorus:
when I first heard of the final chorus it felt predictable. But then came the second half of the final chorus (bar 121) which really made it a climatic final chorus with the chiming loud drums.

Then comes the outro. I liked it but the final note felt that it's not the best way to end the song. It's like there's a continuation (Though I hope there really is! )
It's better to fade out like the one's suggested.

So there's my crit! Sorry if it's so damn long that just how I comment I could really hear the J-music leanings to it and I'm very happy and I really enjoyed it since I'm also a big fan of J-Rock. I'd say that the best feature in it was the bass line and the guitar work was simple but brilliant.

Score: 9.5/10 there are some minor flaws that are not that very noticable

I don't really expect a crit but if you want it's in my sig (From top to bottom: Oldest to Newest)

Thank you and Good Day!