#1
it's a song, i guess. c4c. ots.

rembrandt
chameleons crawling safely in the small of your back
cause i couldn't see them change in gestalt's greater plan,
i just knew that you weren't shaking with each step that you took,
and though i hate it when you tell me, i was spread like a fool.
i was painting pretty sunsets with the heat of your palms,
and i was dreaming of a summer on the beach in your arms,
but you can't separate the skin from the curves of your bones,
and i was swimming under ice, frostbitten and stoned,
and all the smoke swallowed air like it had always been there,
but i just know i'll find some air when i am drowning again
and eventually i'll find a way to taste this fucking town again.

god damnit, you can't be cold forever.
and i feel alive with each change of weather
and i feel just like it'll never be better,
but god damnit, you can't be cold forever.
#2
What about chameleons? I mean, what do they bring to the piece, how do they relate to the other imagery you've got going there? I didn't like the start. As this went on, the rhythm helped it pick up. it flows surprisingly well for such long lines. I have no doubt you could come with a decent melody for this.

Talking about writing only, I felt like this was sub-par. I guess it's because I have such high expectations whenever I read something of yours. I probably just wished it had invented something. Right? idk.

I'll give this a second chance later.
#3
the chameleons signify skin moving, though the narrator can't identify that it's not actually the skin moving, but chameleons that have blended into the skin crawling, because he takes everything as a whole rather than breaking them down separately (gestalt's theory), that also ties into the shaking bit in the next line, and of course the entire idea of skin crawling is supposed to show discomfort, discomfort which leads to a split or division (narrator under ice, girl above), and the hope for an eventual reunion when the metaphorical ice melts. i'm sorry i have to write a paragraph just to explain my paragraph, i just know this is really abstract and would completely understand if anyone didn't understand quite where i was coming from with some of it.
#4
At first, I hated it, but i started to get into it the more i read it. I just felt it wasn't up to your usual brilliance, but i won't hold that against you. I found this an interesting change, this delve into the abstract, and as of yet, I'm not sure whether it wors or not. Let me get back to you.