#1
It was told to me at some point in my life either in High School or while desperate for a bite to eat somewhere in Dayton without heat. Written on a rest stop bathroom stall or told to me by a family member who's either not with us anymore or just not there: "You don't owe anyone a fucking thing." I carry that around in a cell phone, canvas bag, behind my ear like a cigarette, tattooed on my chest to be exposed by a v-neck shirt, a title for a poem or a bumper sticker on my car. cking thing."

I fall into traps that I set myself with my own heart. Thinking of her, thinking of us, taking every miniscule word like Paul Revere riding through my neighborhood on horseback screaming, "The fucking world is coming to an end, boy!" I smile when it's shitty, and I become shitty when I really want to smile, and I'm never satisfied. I never find a middle ground. Man, I love you and God, I'm miserable. I can't walk through this world with a bounce in my step because more than anything I just want the world to burn. Everything that happened over the last two years was my own fault and I still took it out on every gas station attendant who was slacking off on his cell phone instead of ringing me out, or every Waffle House waitress who pryed into my life thinking she was just starting conversation, or every friend who wanted to help me but couldn't get through my thick skull:

Poor advice.
Last edited by stellar_legs at Feb 24, 2009,
#2
only read first 2 paragraphs....really good

glad to see some from mr. Stellar_legs
Just call me Julius, J, etc.
Taking an Internet break for a while, will come on when I can.
#4
Why would you just read the first two paragraphs?
If you've invested that much time then why not finish it?
Poor advice.
#5
This grew on me as I read it, and by the end, I was totally enthralled. The ending won this for me.
#7
I started reading it thinking, "I hate this crap that seems to have no real rhythm, rhyme, or meter or anything. It might as well just be a story." Then I got to the end and I was thinking, "Damn... that was good." Really can't say much else about it, except for that.
#10
Quote by theoneandonlyq
I started reading it thinking, "I hate this crap that seems to have no real rhythm, rhyme, or meter or anything. It might as well just be a story."


*Sigh*

I appreciate the words, but how long must one frequent S&L before they understand the swing of things?
Poor advice.
#11
Wow. This was amazing. I was completely blown away. Especially by the ending. That guy who only read those first couple paragraphs doesn't know what he's missing. But I seriously enjoyed this.
#12
Hymn*. (stanza/para 3)


This was ****ing amazing.

You've no ****ing idea.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#13
Ill have to agree, an incredible read with an ending that forces brain matter out the back of your skull.
Outside the side box that's outside your sky box.
#15
I have no doubt that this is poetry and has merit, it's just I don't really see it as songwriting/lyrics. I can't imagine a song with lyrics like this that could work. At least not in my frame of mind. I suppose it is possible, like a spoken word type song. I don't deny that it has artistic worth (it most definitely does), I suppose what bothers me is that many of these sort of free verse type writings don't seem much like lyrics. But I think I'm a hopeless stickler, so forgive my oddities. Still as good as when I first read it by the way. Except I was able to appreciate the beginning more knowing that it would be worth it at the end.
#16
Quote by theoneandonlyq
I have no doubt that this is poetry and has merit, it's just I don't really see it as songwriting/lyrics. I can't imagine a song with lyrics like this that could work. At least not in my frame of mind. I suppose it is possible, like a spoken word type song. I don't deny that it has artistic worth (it most definitely does), I suppose what bothers me is that many of these sort of free verse type writings don't seem much like lyrics. But I think I'm a hopeless stickler, so forgive my oddities. Still as good as when I first read it by the way. Except I was able to appreciate the beginning more knowing that it would be worth it at the end.


Poor advice.
#18
"Papaw, how come we don't stop and help them?" Papaw looking at me through the rear-window. "Because we'll be late for Church." Me, probably picking my nose: "Well I hope

Should rear-window be rear mirror? I know im splitting hairs, but so far you've only had praise, so i thought id contrubite....

I think if 1000 people read that, each one would relate to somthing in it..
The ending made it, IMO

Quote by Karl Pilkington
Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
#19
Quote by SilenceEvolves
but where are the rhymes?



This was great.
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.