#1
Hey everybody new song sort of The Spill Canvasish when played on guitar. C4C.

Verse 1
Breathe in.
Breathe in so deep.
Let the sound of my soft lullaby,
carry you to sleep.
Breathe in.
Let the air fill up your lungs.
Like a thousand storms upon us
Let it sweep away all that you've done.

Chorus
I'll be beside you.
Protecting you wherever your path shall go.
By the end of this lullaby
Not a single fear will your heart know.

Verse 2
I'll whisper.
Whisper in your ear.
Phrasings of the strongest love.
Phrases that your soul craves to hear.
I'll whisper
Tales of a sunrise.
Colors bleeding past the horizon
To slowly reflect in your mermaid eyes.

Chorus
I'll be beside you.
Protecting you wherever your path shall go.
By the end of this lullaby
Not a single fear will your heart know.

Outro
Breathe in,
Breathe in so deep.
Let the sound of my soft lullaby,
carry you to sleep.

Hope you all like it.
#2
Okay, I really like the verses,
I usually try to be a little indirect with repetition, but u pulled off using repeating lines straight up, and it reads nice, although, just a grammar thing, I think you should use commas instead of periods, make less of a pause

The chorus, however, I just couldn't get into....
There's nothing wrong with them, they just don't really pull me in, u know ?

There's a few things I kinda wanna nitpick about, but it's late n im tired, so i'll do it in the morning, if i don't forget

If u got the time, just pick any song from the sig n just take a look at it
#3
Hey everyone just got the instrumentals fully written and done. For anybody whos interested should have a recording on my profile by the end of the week
#4
Excellent use of repetition as grayeyedfire said. the one thing i get caught up on is "phrasings" in verse two, i just don't like the word choice is all. unfortunately, i can't find a good synonym with thesaurus.com, sorry.

links in sig, if you are not busy, thanks.